Cancelling guests when kids are sick

amother

Taupe

Fri, Jun 19 2015, 3:13 am

Is there a specific etiquette about this?

I had invited guests for Shabbat lunch. They're 2 friends from overseas who are visiting my city this week. I had been hassling them all week to let me know if they would be coming, they weren't sure if they could get to my house from the place they were staying but they did eventually confirm that they would come.

Now I have been up al night with 2 sick kids. They're both still sick, one of them quite bad so I don't see how 1) it would be fair to have guests in that situation and 2) how I can manage guests when I'm dealing with the kids.

Is it normal to cancel on Friday morning? I feel awful but I can't see another way around it. They had opted to stay in their accommodation for Friday night and were going to a place this morning to buy food for tonight's meal so could potentially buy food for lunch too although my husband is offering to take over what I have cooked for them.

Obviously the situation is far from ideal but is it very rude to cancel like this? I feel as if they were relying on spending Shabbat with me.

Raisin

Fri, Jun 19 2015, 4:49 am

tell your guests your kids are sick and do they still want to come. They may not want to come anyway but this way it is their choice. If they do come don't feel pressured to make a fancy or long meal. How old are your kids? They might be napping at lunchtime anyway.

(maybe I'm the wrong person to give this advice since I have guests pretty much every week and I always manage somehow. Smile

I would not cancel in this situation )

imaima

Fri, Jun 19 2015, 4:58 am

Ok it depends what kind of sickness it is, a mild virus is different than chickenpox, you know.
Second thing is, what do you want? Is it too much for you to host them? Or do you genuinely want to see them?

if it is not something major, I usually don't make a big deal out of sick kids. They stay away from guests anyway. unless they are a screaming baby, they either get excited forget that thwy are sick, or they fall asleep from exhaustion.

vicki

Fri, Jun 19 2015, 8:48 am

If the sickness is contagious and involves fever over 100 and/or vomiting I always call the guests as soon I know the situation (perhaps by Thursday night if possible) and offer the guests the choice. Some come, some cancel.
I also always offer to bring over prepared food when I cancel late in the week.

morah

Fri, Jun 19 2015, 9:21 am

I wouldn't cancel but I would make them aware of the situation. Some people would definitely choose not to come under those circumstances, so it's only fair to warn them. But some really don't mind, so I wouldn't cancel over it.