My 6 yo likes ties, but gets made fun of...

amother

Orchid

Tue, Jun 30 2015, 10:49 am

My 6 yo son wore ties for much of last year (when he was five) to school, on Shabbos, or any old time. He just likes them. This year, he started off the year wearing them, then slowly stopped. He said kids made fun of him. I didn't make a big deal about it and he still wore it on Shabbos usually.

Over the past week he has started wearing them again. I asked him what made him change his mind and he said he just wants to. This is totally fine by me! I'm just hesitant to have him put himself out there to be made fun of again. Should I encourage him to just keep them for Shabbos, or let him do what he wants and he'll figure it out? I'm leaning toward the latter, but I do feel bad (of course!) if he gets made fun of...

This morning already by the bus stop, a kid made a remark about it and he is a quasi-friend...

WWYD?

Iymnok

Tue, Jun 30 2015, 11:04 am

Don't coddle him, if he's uncomfortable he won't ear them as you saw before. Eventually he'll realize that ties aren't socially accepted as regular wear outside of office and education jobs.
If you want you can have a discussion with him about who wears ties and when. You can even make it educational and discuss the history of ties, styles in different eras and so on.

Maya

Tue, Jun 30 2015, 12:11 pm

Iymnok wrote:

I don't think that's true anymore. Ties now can be cool and worn in any situation, like hats, especially if it's worn a little loosely and in a skinny version.

OP, I would let him wear whatever he is comfortable wearing. He knows kids may make fun of him, yet he still chooses to wear them. It can be character building for him to ignore that and do his own thing.

Fox

Tue, Jun 30 2015, 1:01 pm

Unless you live in a particular community in which ties are considered non-Jewish apparel, they're ubiquitous in all kinds of settings.

I don't know if it's still the case, but for many years, Yeshiva Toras Chaim in Denver required that talmidim wear ties.

Doug Marchand, the CEO of the Georgia Port Authority, who is credited with turning Savannah's ports into some of the busiest in the country, made headlines in 1995 when he began to require all dockworkers and staff to wear a shirt and tie. The productivity and positive attitudinal shift was apparently palpable, contributing to the ports' success.

Many private prep schools and competitive charter schools require male students to wear ties, citing that greater formality in dress leads to better behavior and more serious attendance to schoolwork.

As Maya said, the option should be his, but frankly, a better question is why *all* boys (outside of communities where ties aren't worn) aren't required to wear ties after a certain age.