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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
Coral
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 Thu, Jul 02 2015, 8:30 am
Is there a rule that if you invite someone to the vort, they should be invited to the wedding?
Does it matter if they gave an engagement gift?
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allthingsblue
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Thu, Jul 02 2015, 9:25 am
No- actually, a lot of times people invite people to the engagement party (or vort) whom they will NOT be inviting to the wedding. This way, the people were included in the simcha, but did not have to be invited to the wedding.
If they gave a gift, I think it's only right to invite them to the wedding- especially if it was a substantial gift.
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amother
Coral
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Thu, Jul 02 2015, 3:09 pm
Thanks!
Anyone else, or is this a consensus?
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Raisin
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Thu, Jul 02 2015, 3:36 pm
No idea. IME engagement parties are often less formal open invite types of things. Ours was a couple of days after we got engaged and people were notified by word of mouth.
If you had the type of party where you sent written invites, I think it is odd to not invite to the wedding. Unless you are making a really small wedding. But again, my wedding included an "open invite" chuppa and kabbalas panim and dancing and then certain people were invited to the dinner.
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zaq
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Thu, Jul 02 2015, 4:31 pm
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One thing has nothing to do with the other. IME vorts are smaller and more local; you don't expect people to come from out of state for a vort, you don't necessarily expect RSVPs, and you would invite people to the vort whom you would not necessarily invite to the wedding, e.g. people from your shul with whom you are friendly but not bffs. You are not obligated to invite to the wedding people who gave an engagement gift, though if it was a particularly generous one, I would. But IME vort gifts are more in the way of token gifts, not anything major. YMMV.
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amother
Coral
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Thu, Jul 02 2015, 5:45 pm
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