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Richies: Do you really rock life's expenses?
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2015, 2:54 pm
fox- I wonder if its a generational thing. my grandparents loved going on cruises... but yelled at us that we don't know the value of a dollar....its like make sure you never forget how to live frugally and then you are free to splurge on the big things....
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2015, 5:41 pm
Fox wrote:
Actually, I think this is very smart. I grew up in a family that had plenty of disposable income. "Rich" is obviously very subjective, but I was an only child and both my parents worked at professional jobs (at a time when most mothers didn't work outside the home). My parents had also been married for almost a decade before I was born, during which time they'd saved money, invested in real estate, etc.

But despite our resources, their spending habits were (and still are!) somewhat bizarre. For example, we took a 2-week winter vacation every year in the Caribbean -- usually a cruise. But go for ice cream? Never! That was a "waste of money." My father was very into fine dining and would spend freely and even travel to go to some fancy new restaurant. But order pizza? Not on your life!

It gave me a very skewed and not-so-healthy approach to money.

My adult life has been just the opposite. While I haven't been nearly as financially successful as my parents, I don't mind spending money on small treats. Frankly, I think my kids and I are a lot happier with more frequent small treats than fewer big-ticket expenditures.


I don't think it's skewed, it's just different.

I love to travel and would rather scrimp and save during the year and then take a vacation vs ordering take out weekly or something. Finances are really all about balancing needs and wants and hopefully having a surplus for a rainy day.
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2015, 6:26 pm
[quote="amother"]I'll correct myself - We 'own' our home. We pay our mortgage. Have to pay regular tuition, no discounts. We spend normal for food and clothing and some repairs and house maintenance help and do give charity when we feel needed. We feel that if we earn these amounts then we should give for those who have nothing. We don't pay that much for charity but pay for most organizations we are familiar something. For door knockers we give up to 50ยข as we don't want to encourage uninvited guest.
My question is for those people with a nice income. Do you really manage all expenses?[/quote]

"we dont want to encourage uninvited guest" this is disturbing to me. as a jew. even if you give tzedaka your attitude is most disturbing. and you give 50 cents? where do you live that that is accepted? I wouldnt humiliate a poor man at the door that way. there are clear chazal on how to give. if I only have quarters I have a hard time deciding if I should even give cause its humiliating. a child is something different. wow, I am shocked. to have read this.
be happy you can pay tuition. thats a zechus. your doing yourself a favor by paying. even the non jewish world puts away money to pay for college. they save for years to do that and have pride in that. how come we complain, when its our future generations and its about yiddishkeit.?
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2015, 6:40 pm
we bh have enough money in the bank to live relatively wealthy lives, but we dont have so much income right now so I still always think twice before I buy things.
I can afford the full tuition bh but I still cringe when I see the bill.
and it makes me a little nervous.
the most important expense to me in my life is my full time housekeeper!
with everything else I am very cautious.
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2015, 6:40 pm
gosh this thread, is something different. I wonder if op realizes some people have to decide everyday if they should buy certain things in the grocery if they even have the money. and reading this thread is so painful. and shes complaining?
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2015, 6:45 pm
[quote="amother"]we bh have enough money in the bank to live relatively wealthy lives, but we dont have so much income right now so I still always think twice before I buy things.
I can afford the full tuition bh but I still cringe when I see the bill.
and it makes me a little nervous.
the most important expense to me in my life is my full time housekeeper!
with everything else I am very cautious.[/quote]

full time housekeeper?! you are for real? and you think before you buy things? wow I think you have your priorities mixed a bit. and you have enough money in the bank. so why do you cringe? seriously I dont understand this. try to explain
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2015, 6:46 pm
[quote="saw50st8"]I don't think it's skewed, it's just different.

I love to travel and would rather scrimp and save during the year and then take a vacation vs ordering take out weekly or something. Finances are really all about balancing needs and wants and hopefully having a surplus for a rainy day.[/quote]

I didnt see you complaining. you do what works for you. and dont come here to complain. now thats the way to do it.
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nicole81




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2015, 6:50 pm
sourstix wrote:
full time housekeeper?! you are for real? and you think before you buy things? wow I think you have your priorities mixed a bit. and you have enough money in the bank. so why do you cringe? seriously I dont understand this. try to explain


I don't really think it's appropriate that you come onto a thread specifically geared towards people with more money (or "richies" Rolling Eyes ) and criticize the spending of posters who care to share their perspective, just because you have a different financial perspective. Honestly, it's a bit rude.
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2015, 6:57 pm
I wasnt being rude, I was trying to take to understand why if you have money sitting in the bank, then come to complain that you think twice before buying. while so many of us dont have the luxury of money in the bank and have a choice how to use it. to me its complaining about a problem you dont really have. its created problems. and thats my humble opinion. I dont think I am rude. you can choose to think I am. thats ok.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2015, 7:24 pm
sourstix wrote:
I wasnt being rude, I was trying to take to understand why if you have money sitting in the bank, then come to complain that you think twice before buying. while so many of us dont have the luxury of money in the bank and have a choice how to use it. to me its complaining about a problem you dont really have. its created problems. and thats my humble opinion. I dont think I am rude. you can choose to think I am. thats ok.



She doesn't sound to me like complaining. Just stating facts. And what's it your business if she needs a full time housekeeper yet can't buy eveyrthing she wants in the store? Who are you to decide what is more important?
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2015, 7:51 pm
amother wrote:
We don't struggle at all, BH, at this point in our lives. But that still means living within our means. Dh earns around $750K. ... Even at this income level I can't just go buy a Chloe bag without blinking an eye.


I believe, Smokey, that this is a function of your personality and background, not your income. With an income of $750K--that's 3/4 of a MILLION dollars a year--you can assuredly afford to spend $1500 on a bag without blinking. I don't say you should--frankly, I cannot imagine what, beyond designer hype, makes a purse worth that much unless the zipper is solid gold, and in your shoes I would buy a bag for $300 (reduced from $600 of course--even rich people love a bargain) and give the rest to tzedaka--but you could if you wanted to, and I suspect that most people in your socioeconomic stratum do.

However, I am also going to guess that you did not grow up anywhere nearly as wealthy as you are now, and old habits die hard. IOW you are a rich person with a middle-class person's brain, which is not necessarily a bad thing. There is no point to spending money just because you have it, unless you are on a campaign to stimulate the local economy. There is nothing wrong with extracting the maximum enjoyment possible out of simple pleasures. OTOH, once you have a nice nest egg, there is also no really good reason to deprive your family of worthwhile things that you can afford. Your dc cannot travel to EY at this point, but if he were capable, would you go, or would you still be claiming that you cannot afford the trip? Not necessarily every Sukkos and Pesach, but once in five years? ten years? You notice I am not advocating vacations in Gstaad or Paris, but EY is not just a vacation.

Sourstix--I should hope that everyone, regardless of income, thinks before buying things. Bal tashchit applies also to money, and squandering, even if one is drowning in dough, is not the Torah way. You know that when Yaakov was traveling back to Eretz Canaan, he retraced his steps to retrieve some small pottery jars that he had left behind. Now these jars were of very little monetary value, and Yaakov was a very rich man. But he took the trouble to retrieve them because to abandon them would be to waste them. Any money we have is a gift from the KBH, and wasting it is tantamount to throwing His gift back in His face. That's practically praying for poverty. Irresponsible spending can destroy in a decade a family fortune that took generations to build.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2015, 10:16 pm
zaq wrote:


However, I am also going to guess that you did not grow up anywhere nearly as wealthy as you are now, and old habits die hard. IOW you are a rich person with a middle-class person's brain, which is not necessarily a bad thing. There is no point to spending money just because you have it, unless you are on a campaign to stimulate the local economy. There is nothing wrong with extracting the maximum enjoyment possible out of simple pleasures. OTOH, once you have a nice nest egg, there is also no really good reason to deprive your family of worthwhile things that you can afford. Your dc cannot travel to EY at this point, but if he were capable, would you go, or would you still be claiming that you cannot afford the trip? Not necessarily every Sukkos and Pesach, but once in five years? ten years? You notice I am not advocating vacations in Gstaad or Paris, but EY is not just a vacation.


This is me exactly, zaq - a wealthy person with lower-middle class instincts, brought up never to spend an unnecessary cent (which must be why I had never before this thread heard of Chloe bags.) I must remember the expression for future use.

(FTR, I pinch pennies on groceries, but we go away for a couple of weeks every summer and we spend a YT in Israel every few years - but in a rented apartment, not a hotel. Luxury, but not obscene ostentation, I hope, though I am sure there are posters here who would disagree.)
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