Would you wash out your kid's mouth with soap?

gold21

Wed, Apr 07 2010, 12:59 pm

Where are the children learning the bad words?? from the parents or from peers? if from parents, well, its unfair to use words within earshot of your children and not expect them to use those words. if mommy and daddy can say "xyz" why cant the child?... If the bad words are being learned from peers, then the issue should be addressed with the school. The staff needs to ensure that little children are not teaching their classmates bad words.

chavs

Wed, Apr 07 2010, 1:08 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

the bigger issue you make of somethinbg like a curse word, the more the child will want to say it (reverse psychology). Instilling fear into a child isnt the way to do it either. I would simply say "that is not an aidel word to say" and move on.

I agree 100%

sneakermom

Wed, Apr 07 2010, 1:55 pm

To wash a kids mouth out with soap is simply an OVERREACTION. Why do we take little kids so seriously? They are simply playing around and don't have malicious intentions, and even if they are testing you - just ignore it and it will go away.

These gross overreactions create profound memories associated with the distinct words or issues you don't want your kids involved with. And if you do something like that to them believe me they will remember it and the words involved.

It can warp kids. Believe me because I've seen it happen.

Let's just let kids be kids and not place our own projections on them. It is our distinct associations with the words that bother us the kids don't have that kind of understanding at that point. And when they get older you can discuss things with them more.

I hate the whole idea.

shevi82

Wed, Apr 07 2010, 3:49 pm

Quote:

It can warp kids. Believe me because I've seen it happen.

The only thing that can warp a kid is to just let it go and will go away.
A parent's job is to Mechanech. The child should receive alot of love and security and if he does there is no problem with reacting strongly when necessary. (of course not out of anger)

doodlesmom

Wed, Apr 07 2010, 8:45 pm

My son had a habit of biting others at one point, and I told him that I will put pepper in his mouth if he did it again, in the end I just took any spice like garlic powder or pizza spice and put a bit in his mouth, it conveyed the message without me feeling that I am abusing my child.

groisamomma

Wed, Apr 07 2010, 9:32 pm

allergypro wrote:

they both got peppermint scope mouthwash on their tongue. burny enough for it to make a difference, tho not at all dangerous. so far one time was enough. hope it lasts.

Dh and I both agree that this is the best alternative. My kids don't know yet that scope is not soap, so I'd use it- hopefully, there will NEVER be a next time.

Re: ignoring, that seems to work with my other kids, not with this one.
Re: where she picked it up, your guess is as good as mine. ABSOLUTELY NO WAY did she learn that at school, or from her parents. At this point, I don't think she knew what it meant when she said it.

I enjoyed reading all of your posts, and seeing all the other views. Thanks, everyone!

Ruchel

Thu, Apr 08 2010, 12:25 pm

gold21 wrote:

There is no way to ensure children are not learning bad words in school. Even in the frummest schools. We can only expect the morehs and morot to explain the importance of lashon naki.

Leora2

Wed, Jul 08 2015, 6:02 pm

I just ignore it. It's almost always for attention and ignoring it shows them there are other ways of getting my attention. For the record, I do potch, all of my kids, (6-13), and have since they were toddlers (usually about 4-5 times a year). I just find something really wrong with washing out a child's mouth with soap or putting pepper or hot sauce in it. To me, that feels like abuse.

nywife

Wed, Jul 08 2015, 7:57 pm

Leora2 wrote:

This thread is 5 years old...

sourstix

Wed, Jul 08 2015, 8:16 pm

when I used to live in brooklyn the kids used to listen to non jews walking on the street passing by, and pickup their language. a lot of dirty curse words were picked up. its no brainer where they are coming from. I would probably ignore it just say its really not nice, a beautiful neshama like you doesnt say those words. ask where she heard it. then realize she wants to get a reaction from you. and she got it. keep cool. if you said it wasnt nice in a very calm tone. no hysterics. she probably would just take it as that as something not nice and would forget. but you made a big deal and if she wants attention very desperately she just got it albeit negatively. children will do whatever it takes to get attention if its not positive then negative they crave it desperately. oh this took me time to learn and get. so keep calm. for your and her sake calmness is the name of the game. not even what method like pepper or soap. is what is important. its the calmness. if your are surprized then wait to react. you can tell her before she goes to sleep that wasnt nice, you want her to use her mouth for nice things. she will get it. girls get things bettter then boys.

sourstix

Wed, Jul 08 2015, 8:35 pm

why the need to put soap, why not just a gentle way to say its not nice or clean words for a yiddish neshama? they are young. the teaching is saying its not nice. the soap is really unnecessary.
about fear, yes a child should develop some fear to do the wrong thing. we all fear the police and we therefore dont kill each other because of the fear. imagine no police. its the same concept for children. but I wouldnt use fear for a curse word that came from a 5 year old. if a child bit and continues to at that age then I would first use warnings and tell not to do. but explain what happens when they dont follow and yes they need to be afraid to do that, if regular talk doesnt help. jmho. I would reserve the fear for very very important things. safety included. we all fear somewhat.

agreer

Wed, Jul 08 2015, 9:39 pm

Hee hee OP I think you did a great job. She knew what she was doing, she tested you, you DID NOT cave, you hugged her to show you love her, and I am pretty sure she will not be saying that word again.

Personally, no, I wouldn't have before I read your story, but maybe now.... I just might!

oliveoil

Wed, Jul 08 2015, 9:53 pm

agreer wrote:

This thread is from 2010. I highly doubt OP is still reading