All Who Go Do Not Return

ven

Tue, Jun 16 2015, 5:30 pm

zaq wrote:

Not necessarily. Did you ever see the film "the Burning Bed"? woman pours gasoline on her sleeping ex-husband (who is still living in her house because he refuses to leave despite the divorce decree)and sets it afire, burning the house down and killing him. Not only did the jury refuse to side with the murder victim, they refused to convict the murderer. Why? because the man had been viciously abusing her for years and she had finally had enough. The jury concluded that this did not qualify as murder. Fiction? Nope. A true story.

Just my two cents and probably off topic : in this sort of cases it depends mostly on the money u have for a very good lawyer, or the luck u have.. There have been women who got death sentences for killing their abusive husbands.

PinkFridge

Tue, Jun 16 2015, 5:31 pm

Ora, we have to remember something and that is Marina knows the author. I'm not sure how personally but she is much more familiar with him and his journey than many of us are. When you know someone and like them (grammar police, please forgive the pronoun) you will see them in a better light. Which is a good thing. It's why we need to work on ahavas Yisrael so that being dlkz comes naturally.
I really don't know the truth, and I can sit on the sidelines. I wouldn't attack, though I might and have stated my unease with certain things I've heard, but I really can't judge on either side. I wish the all menucha.

princessleah

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 2:54 pm

Late to the party, but I just finished the book. I think overall it was just absolutely heartbreaking. I felt so sad for him at the end.

I think his whole story is a very clear example of what happens when you shun the outside world. I understand that this is a value of the community. But because all outside, "secular" or modern things are scary and have the potential to corrupt your mind and soul, they actually become that. When all things outside of your bubble are presented as something that can crumble your entire belief system, THEY BECOME THAT.

When you're kept away from all outside ideas, and then you encounter them, OF COURSE your mind is blown. When you learn about secular ideas alongside Torah, and when necessary, how to reconcile the two, it's much less scary.
The whole book is support against black-and-white thinking that is pervasive in the right wing world.

pause

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 4:51 pm

princessleah wrote:

Depends which right-wing world. But yea, I agree with the premise of your post.

princessleah

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 7:24 pm

I used that phrase because I didn't want to mention any community specifically.
What felt different about this book was that the author did not sound angry or bitter. This wasn't the typical "I grew up sheltered and now I've escaped." He loved his life. He loved his children. He just came to a point where theologically he wasn't there anymore. And his loss of his children was just terrible. It sounded like his relationship with his ex was somewhat okay, and the community pressured her. He wasn't invited to his own daughter's wedding. Horrible.

pause

Sun, Jul 12 2015, 9:57 am

I just finished reading the book. I actually read it in a span of 24 hours; I couldn't put it down.

I love his writing style. The book is extremely well-written with an engaging tone. The language, the phraseology, and the sentence structure are masterful. The order in which events are relayed is not strictly chronological, yet the content is organized and a plot emerges clearly.

I was very impressed with the tone. Unlike Feldman, he does not come across as rebellious teenager whose book seems to have been written for its shock value. Deen comes across as brooding and unhappy and merely relates his personal experiences. He does not attempt to paint all Skverers nor all chassidim nor all religious Jews as archaic or backwards. Except for the (IMO) overemphasis on the ox-goring-cow aspect of the Talmud, he remains evenhanded in his narrative. He is simply here to tell his individual story which is indeed a sad one.

I believe this book has all the makings of a literary classic. I could see myself "teitching into" certain choice of words, just like we did in English class with George Orwell, John Knowles, John Steinbeck and more.

As far as the content of the book, I leave my judgment aside. All that remains is pity for all the involved characters. I am happy Gitty remarried and hope she has found some stability in her life. I hope their children are happy in their marriages and lifestyles. And I hope that Deen himself finds the peace he so desperately seeked.