Making Bar Mitzvah party not on the actual birthday.

Chanie

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 2:20 pm

My son's birthday falls out on a Tuesday ( Monday night/Tuesday). His Aliya and if he chooses to read from the Torah (he's studying but can't decide if he's comfortable doing it in public) will be on the following shabbos. I'd love my out of town family to be able to be at both. Is it weird to push the party till Thursday night so it can be closer to the weekend? If I do do that, am I supposed to make a seudas mitzvah the night of hs actual Bar Mitzvah? What constitutes a seudas mitzvah, can it just be our immediate family (my dh, and 5 kids)?

CatLady

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 3:53 pm

Hi! Another Montrealer! *waves at Chanie*

I grew up in a traditional setting and we always scheduled Bar Mitzvahs to convenience the out-of-towners. In fact, we tried to choose the closest long weekend, so everyone could be here.

No reason why you can't have a birthday dinner with the nuclear family (and maybe the guest of honour's best buddies) on the actual day of his birthday, and then have another cake with candles after dinner on the Thursday when the extended mishpachah is present.

amother

Lavender

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 4:05 pm

Another out of towner here. The day of his birthday, you can sponsor bagels and spreads for his class at school, and dinner for the immediate family sounds lovely. The big party was motzai shabbos (winter) or Sunday lunch. The relatives came in Friday and left Sunday early evening.

Raisin

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 5:13 pm

No one I know makes the big party on his actual birthday. Most people do it on the sunday following his aliya.

We made a small class party on my sons birthday. Just his classmates and teachers and a few local cousins. He has a small class so it wasn't a lot of people.

If its a school day you can sponsor lunch for his class as previous poster suggested. Or do something small at home, if you want to be there.

Chanie

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 5:50 pm

CatLady wrote:

Hi catlady,
Since you seem tho know who I am (I didn't say I was from Montreal), would love tho know who it is who identified me (not like I was hiding my identity, I am using my real name after all)

Chanie

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 5:52 pm

Raisin wrote:

Like that lunch idea. No idea what the school's opinion of that is.

amother

Lavender

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 6:11 pm

We did breakfast, and both dh and I were there. Lunch would work too. You can call the school; by me it's really common. Some boys do it on their bar mitzvah day, and some on the first day they put on tefillin.

amother

Lime

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 7:07 pm

My ds's bar mitzvah falls out on a Tuesday..I'm actually making the party 2 days before for the sake of convenience...ds will bring donuts or bagels to school a month before when he puts on Tefillin..he will be leining the Shabbos following his birthday.

doctorima

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 7:07 pm

Chanie wrote:

Hi catlady,
Since you seem tho know who I am (I didn't say I was from Montreal), would love tho know who it is who identified me (not like I was hiding my identity, I am using my real name after all)

If you look in your profile next to your posts, it says that your location is Montreal, so I assume that's where catlady is coming from. I don't think she's secretly stalking you.

CatLady

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 7:19 pm

Nope, not stalking at all. I just saw my home town in your profile, as doctorima wrote.

Sorry if you got the wrong impression. I didn't mean to cause you any stress!