What works for anger management in a young teen?

amother

Wed, Nov 08 2006, 7:58 am

happymom

Wed, Nov 08 2006, 8:09 am

why is she so nagry? knowing that can help

amother

Wed, Nov 08 2006, 8:22 am

happymom wrote:

why is she so nagry? knowing that can help

Not getting what she wants.

It is irrelevant, though- both adults and children can find what to be angry about 24/7, they still must have the ability to control themselves and act appropriately in all situations.

Motek

Thu, May 03 2007, 3:44 pm

It's not about controlling or managing. It's about eliminating anger. Anger is like idol-worship.

GramaNewYork

Fri, May 04 2007, 8:43 am

I received this in my inbox just as I read your OP and thought it was too much of a coincidence not to send it to you. Maybe you could print it out and leave it laying around the living room over Shabbos:

NAIL IN THE FENCE

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."

It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.

Now send this to every friend you have!! And to your family.

Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole.

rainbow

Fri, May 04 2007, 8:56 am

I think what works for teens is having parent/s who model appropriate anger management themselves...I think this is where it begins and this is where it ends....Easier said than done? I totally agree!

greenfire

Fri, May 04 2007, 9:08 am

grama - that was powerful ... I have told this (well the short version) story with the knife wound despite being pulled out sorries cannot make it better - therefore one must be careful beforehand.

motek - I disagree with you we all have our shortcomings and it is what we do with them that makes us a better (or not) person ... it is all about control ... this is our tafkid in life