I wish I could hide from the news

amother

Copper

Wed, Jul 22 2015, 5:19 am

I dont have anything to add to help u remember not to leave baby in the car. but I wanted to say that I stopped my fb account over a yr ago now bc stories like this, and others were raking up so much of my head space that it was unhealthy (at least I felt so). there were other things I didnt like about fb which contributed but this news frenzy aspect to it was a big part.
ppl said I wld go back to fb after a mth or two and I didnt say yay or nay as didnt wanna feel like an idiot if I did go back.
a yr on I can say I dont miss it at all! best thing ever.
something to consider?

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Jul 22 2015, 9:36 am

amother wrote:

Pumpkin, does your spaciness affect other areas in your life? Because I was seriously considering ADD meds to help myself cope better when I noticed my distractibility affecting my kids. I'll swallow some pills to keep my kids safe...

Yes, my spaciness affects every single area of my life.
It affects housecare obviously. It affects my job tremendously. And it affects my childrens' life in many ways besides for safety.

I actually started taking ADD meds shortly after the second incident. It helped some, I can't say it transformed me. I do need to work on it myself too I just don't have the time or money to go to a therapist. I just honestly don't understand how people can have so much focus. My head feels like cloudy inside all the time.

Anyways, OP you can hide from the news. Well, a little bit. You can stay away from the feeds which always have news stories. Or just get off FB altogether if that's possible. Or as soon as you see something quickly close it and don't read about it.

gp2.0

Wed, Jul 22 2015, 9:46 am

This is something I'm very anxious about as I tend to be absentminded as well. I leave my purse in the back, and that works out pretty well for me because after I lock the car I'd start looking around for the purse to put my key into.

But still. I periodically check the rear view mirror, whether the kids are in the car or not. Every day without fail I feel a spurt of anxiety as I approach the car, and relief when I see the car seat is empty.

If Dh is doing the drop off which is very off schedule for us and doesn't happen often, I will be very nervous about it and text him with specific questions about 10 mins later like "did she cry when you dropped her off or was she happy?"

I am completely terrified of this happening as it has happened to all kinds of people when they were more distracted than usual, and my usual operating mode is distracted.

amother

Pewter

Wed, Jul 22 2015, 12:09 pm

seeker wrote:

The whole point is NOT to grab your shoe and run in; the point is that you go to the back seat for your shoe and take your kid out first.

Pumpkin amother, definitely get this checked out. If you feel that you are often absentminded, there may be things to do about it.

The person who said they confirm by text with DH after drop-off is very smart. Children have two parents and I think it is totally responsible for the parent who is not with them at a time to check in with the parent who is with them (my DH would disagree but my opinion would still hold. He doesn't like being nagged and feels distrusted but I don't see it as a trust issue, I think you can never be too sure when it comes to your kids' needs)

At many day cares and preschools the policy is that if a child doesn't show up by a certain time and they haven't heard from the parent, they call the parent to see what's going on. This seems like a very good, responsible idea that could avoid a lot of problems. Half the time it'll be something like they stayed home and forgot to call, or left late and just didn't get there yet, but if there was some kind of mix-up this would help.

Finally, it is totally true that facebook makes us much more aware of tragedies than we used to be. And yes it does contribute to anxiety for many people. If this is an issue for you (anxiety, not leaving kids in cars) then consider leaving facebook or at least unsubscribing from certain people and pages who tend to post this stuff. Sometimes you start thinking there must be something terribly wrong with the world that suddenly there are so many more tragedies than ever before - but the reality is that there are probably about the same amount as there have ever been, just the world is shrinking. 20 years ago there were probably a similar amount of people affected by accidents, drowning, illness, suicide, etc, but you never heard of most of them - many were reported only in their local newspapers and radio, and even the ones local to you you'd skim the news and only catch half of it. Now if something happens across the country from you and someone writes a compelling blog post about it, not only do you hear about it but it appears in your newsfeed 5 times, and sometimes with different titles/pictures so you don't even realize it's the same one. Some people are OK with this, and for some people it's just not healthy. Sounds like you are in the latter group. That's OK. I think it's only human to be disturbed by this and it is OK to try to shield yourself to an extent. It doesn't mean hiding in a cave but it probably means unsubscribing from HuffPost and other "friends."

OP here. This is a really good post. Thank you

amother

Pewter

Wed, Jul 22 2015, 12:10 pm

amother wrote:

That doesn't work because I never know when he plans on bringing her. We had odd work schedules. On days I'm working and he's home he can bring her any time of day. On days I'm home I don't usually take her but when I do I go out special to take her so not likely something I'd forget. Yesterday was the first time I felt at risk for it. If I were to go shopping I'd wait for her to wake up before going so wouldn't be sleeping and not easy to miss so usually not an issue.

not sure what to tell you. I would still badger my husband every few hours just to be sure.

amother

Pewter

Wed, Jul 22 2015, 12:15 pm

gp2.0 wrote:

Im the OP.

Everyone may think Im crazy but recently I started taking a picture of the empty car seats every day and when I am at work and I feel anxious I can check the picture. It has a time and date stamp which is also very helpful.

(Yea I am totally crazy)