Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Household Management
Fired my nanny- and now she wants a recommendation!



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

wannagrow




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 23 2015, 10:45 am
Need some advice cause I don't want to make a chillul Hashem. I had a nanny/ housekeeper for about a yr. SHe had her positives and negatives and for me it's a real challange to go through the hiring process/ training etc so I held on to her. OVer the past few weeks she was slacking in housework, has been cold to the kids, coming late leaving early etc. One recent episode of lateness was the straw that broke the camels back as I had to be at twork that morning. What made matters worse was her irresponsible attitude responsea nd lack of apology etc. OS I asked her to leave, gave her more salary than she deserved even. A couple of weeks later I receive a phonecall from a woman interviewing her asking for a recommendation. I was appalled as A. I never agreed to have her give my cellphone out to strangers and B. With the chutzpah that she left how could she even ask. Now yes of course I have hakoras hatov to her for her help over the year but she did cause me agmas nefesh my older kids didn't like her at all. WHy should I assist her in finding another job with the way she treated me? I told the woman to call me back as I was taken aback and didn't want to make the wrong decision and she texted me waiting for a response, What do you ladies think?
Back to top

PAMOM




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 23 2015, 10:53 am
You can be honest and list 2-3 positives first and then 2-3 reasons why you fired her, or you can just ask what the woman's questions are and only answer what she asks.
Back to top

myym




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 23 2015, 11:22 am
I've been in your situation too many times, and my answer is of course you should be honest. What is the question? Would you want someone to lie to you about a potential babysitter?
Be upfront about what was good about her and what wasn't. Some people are looking for different needs then you had. Maybe they have a flexible job and don't need the housekeeping? She might be a fit. On the other hand if they also need to be out early in the morning then lying about her punctuality is very unfair.

Best of luck, I'm currently in babysitter search mode too!
Back to top

amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Thu, Jul 23 2015, 11:25 am
I had a couple of babysitters who were really horrible. Everything about them was bad, their attitude, punctuality, ability to follow rules, child care, food issues, etc.

The first one, I fired and gave a week of severance. She was Spanish. I told her she can use me as a reference. Big mistake! Any time someone called, I ended up telling them how bad she was. In the end she never got another job, and she left babysitting and got married. It was not my intention to torpedo her career. So in retrospect I should have just said - it didn't work for me so please use your other references that you had in the past.

The second one was a quasi-frum girl, very young and not good at all with my child. Even the cleaning lady told me that the girl would do nothing, leave my son in his crib all afternoon and when he would say he's hungry, she would take grapes out of the fridge and put them on the table for him unwashed. Never mind that she read through all my emails on gmail and looked at inappropriate things on the internet (this was somewhat before smart phones). When I let her go I gave her 2 weeks of severence pay. Here's what happened about serving as a reference. She gave my number to someone, and when they called I was on vacation. They hired her without speaking to me! So she was still able to have her babysitter career. I hope that as she got older she was able to do a better job.
Back to top

Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 23 2015, 11:25 am
This is so touchy!

On one hand, you don't want to cause someone else difficulty with a bad employee; on the other hand, sometimes people get their lives together after a difficult period and become wonderful employees.

Not to mention the possibility of litigation. Though it's highly unlikely to happen with a former nanny, it's wise to be cautious.

Here's how I'd phrase it:

"Eleanor worked for me from 7/1/2014 through 6/28/2015. Unfortunately, I would not be able to re-hire her. I need someone who is reliable and punctual, can do light housework when my baby is asleep, and interact well with older children."

You can leave it up to the potential employer to decide whether Eleanor's inability to meet those needs relates to *her* expectations.
Back to top

smss




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 23 2015, 11:34 am
You MUST be honest. Oh gosh this is my biggest fear when getting recommendations for babysitters- that people won't be honest...
Back to top

wannagrow




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 23 2015, 11:54 am
OP here: I should have been more clear as to my question-- I was thinking to not to respond at all! of course if I was to respond I would list both the positives and negatives...
Back to top

smss




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 23 2015, 12:11 pm
wannagrow wrote:
OP here: I should have been more clear as to my question-- I was thinking to not to respond at all! of course if I was to respond I would list both the positives and negatives...


I think you should respond. She's considering hiring her. She needs to know!
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Kosher phone recommendation
by amother
6 Yesterday at 5:40 pm View last post
Adwords google ads manager recommendation?
by amother
0 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 7:47 am View last post
Recommendation- Oil Press
by amother
0 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 4:48 am View last post
Candace Owens Fired
by amother
2 Sat, Mar 23 2024, 9:56 pm View last post
Dd wants ds to be punished
by amother
67 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 10:33 am View last post