How to survive a year in the house with a toddler and baby?

amother

Magenta

Sun, Jul 26 2015, 8:23 am

I've decided that my 2.5 year old will not go to nursery school in September. I have a 4 year old who'll be going to preschool. I've been at home with my toddlers and baby, but recently my 2.5 year old has been acting up. I think it's because of the new baby and he wants more attention (which I'm trying to give him). He's been very sweet to the baby, but he has been giving me lots of temper tantrums and he REALLY doesn't have patients when I nurse the baby and when he wants something. So it's been really difficult and I'm not sure what to do with him in the house. I hope to find some playgroups so he could be with kids sometimes, but so far he's alone with me and the baby. I've been trying to be VERY patient with him and I noticed he stops with his temper tantrums if I ignore his crying. But it's been like this every day and I just can't take the crying or yelling anymore. I feel like that's all the baby hears in the house! I hate feeling like a bad mother when I just snap at him because I don't get much sleep and I can't take his loud yelling and crying.

chani8

Sun, Jul 26 2015, 10:58 am

A 2.5 year old home needs structure and routine. He needs to know what he can expect from his day. Is he going to sit around being bored while you take care of baby, or will he have things to do? At that age, kids need stimulation. Sand, water, playdough, music, books read to him. Just plan things out and be proactive, and hopefully his frustration will resolve quickly.

d l

Sun, Jul 26 2015, 11:59 am

2.5 is the perfect age for school, as long as it's a good preschool.
I suggest children going 5 days a week, easier for them to adjust and the consistency is very good for them.
Depending on the child you can do half day or full day.
Some kids do better half day, then come home to nap.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Jul 26 2015, 1:31 pm

I am in the same boat as you, same ages, and was really planning on keeping home my 2.5 this coming school year.
But so far, just from the summer alone, I realized how much she craved the socialization! she loves to be around other kids, we have been staying at the park for hours on end bc that is the only place that she is happy, not screaming and throwing tantrums, and with a new born baby, im kinda going bonkers..
At first I felt guilty signing her up to a daycare, but I just cant even imagine doing this in the winter with her, she's going to go bananas cooped up all day in the house.

maybe reconsider daycare? it doesn't need to be full time.

good luck.

amother

Magenta

Sun, Jul 26 2015, 1:56 pm

OP here

Well, I don't think my 2.5 year old is so bored in the house and really wants to be out with kids. He's not potty trained yet (not forcing) and when he's out in the park, he doesn't really play with kids unless he's with his older brother. I'm considering some sort of playgroups like twice a week, if I can find one and not too expensive. I think it might be harder when he's with his older brother because sometimes they fight and he always likes to copy him as well. I'm just hoping he'll be quiet when he's alone with me and the baby and won't cry everytime I have to nurse the baby. Of course when the baby's asleep, I try to play with him and give him attention, but sometimes I just have to do some house work.

sitting

Sun, Jul 26 2015, 2:39 pm

I think ur great for trying to recognise his needs. but he wld prob do well to have a little time out the house say 3 morn a wk. to save u cost find somewhere only 9-12. he cld then eat lunch with u while u chat to him giving him time and then its wonderful nap time for an hr or more. by the afternoon he shld be ok to play on the floor with u sitting near by for some of the time.
the other 2 days of the wk I wld structure the morn. so maybe library and park one morn and grocery shopping one morn?
the kid needs structure. ..but so do u!!! u need to know there will be time for u to do errands without him or to lie down or cook. etc.

oliveoil

Sun, Jul 26 2015, 4:08 pm

If you plan to spend the whole year in the house, you're setting yourself up for disaster. To make it work, you need to be able to get out of the house with both kids, daily. Parks, playgrounds, errands, library, a walk, visit a friend or family member... Doesn't have to be big plans, but you do need to get out.

chavs

Sun, Jul 26 2015, 4:23 pm

When mine were that age I would put different things out in the morning and rotate them after a bit. Play doh, puzzles, beads, colours, cars dolls etc.
We'd go to toddler groups and parks and in the afternoon we'd usually go shopping. I created a routine that worked for us. My kids got to playboth by themselves and with other kids, learned how to entertain themselves as well, we spend time together and generally had fun.
We have a garden so I was able to send my little ones out when they needed to run, if not I'd probably go to the park even more. We also have an indoor trampoline that my baby has already started using even though it is for the older ones. It works well in days we can't get out.
Anyways, I'm grateful that I didnt send my kids out, I was able to take them out enough that they weren't bored but they still had me around which they, at that age ,needed.
It's good to establish a routine for both of you though.

granolamom

Mon, Jul 27 2015, 10:27 pm

amother wrote:

what (sometimes) worked when I had a toddler & baby home was a nursing bag. for the toddler. filled with special toys/books/treats. toddler was ONLY allowed to access the bag when I was nursing the baby.
and try to be realistic about housework expectations. I'd hire some help if you can afford it. its hard to get much done when you give the baby's nap time to the toddler.

mommy3b2c

Mon, Jul 27 2015, 10:33 pm

granolamom wrote:

I did something similar to this, except it was a toy. My toddler had a special nursing toy that he got ONLY when the baby was nursing. It really worked.

miami85

Mon, Jul 27 2015, 10:35 pm

Sometimes it is a personality thing. Some kids do much better out of the house--and the parent also does better with them out of the house Wink

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Question, and I'm only suggesting this from experience--not saying that its universal, my used-to-be-2.5-now-3-year old has had a mysterious stomach issue, its kind of subtle, but it makes him act out. Otherwise he is a charming, sweet, compliant boy. When his stomach is acting up even slightly, he starts whining, screaming hitting, biting, destroying me, his brother, or anything. He won't let me ignore it. Once he passes the gas or goes to the bathroom/makes in his pull-up (he's partially trained) he's back to normal.
Could it be something is bothering him internally (gas?) and its manifesting itself as behaviors and when that passes he calms down?