Shabbos Meals at Families while on Vacation

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amother

Oak

Fri, Jul 31 2015, 12:07 pm

Just curious of the opinion of others:

What do you think about going on vacation out of town and finding a local kollel family for Shabbos meals? Do you feel that it's their duty to host and they do it all the time so no big deal? Is it unfair to the families that always have to host and bear the expense? What do you think? I am not referring to those on a business conference or those that need to be in town for Shabbos. I am referring to those on vacation that could plan around Shabbos.

pesek zman

Fri, Jul 31 2015, 1:32 pm

Uch! I would never do that! Invite myself to a stranger? Never! choose a vacation spot near kosher takeout places, or bring Shabbos food with me from home! Provising Shabbos meals and a shabbos environment for my family is my responsibility, no one else's.

Frumdoc

Fri, Jul 31 2015, 1:49 pm

pesek zman wrote:

This. Who in their right mind would turn up somewhere and expect total strangers to host them for shabbos for their vacation?

amother

Magenta

Fri, Jul 31 2015, 1:52 pm

I think if you do that it is nice to either offer a donation or bring a substantial food gift. (wine, a nice dessert, chocolates, fruit)

We live out of town and often host such people and while I love doing it, it does add up financially. People often bring me flowers, which are nice, or chatchkes, (mostly either useless or we already have it - we have been given about a dozen beautiful challah covers so far) but really I appreciate food I can use either as part of the meal or to feed my family.

tichellady

Fri, Jul 31 2015, 1:53 pm

I think it's normal to see if anyone can host but not to expect it. When we travel we usually eat at chabads and we always give a donation to the chabad before or after Shabbat. Our shul often gets requests to host out of town guests and so an email is sent around and whoever wants to host agrees, and whoever doesn't, doesnt.

amother

Oak

Fri, Jul 31 2015, 2:37 pm

I was asking because I live out of town and get lots of requests and pressure every week to host. I am ok hosting occasionally, but it is a lot of work to do large meals every week and gets expensive.
My husband recently even overheard a conversation between a couple of guests. One said "did you bring anything for the meal?" And the other person answered, "No, that's what the kollel is here for. You don't need to bring anything." I think that people don't always view it from the hosts' standpoint.
I wanted to hear from the guests' perspective as well.

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