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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Babysitting and yichud?



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amother
Linen


 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 8:11 am
I need a babysitter at night for my 11 year old son and 9 year old daughter. Should I try to hire a teen boy or girl?
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 8:17 am
That's a hard one. The rule is a boy over nine, a girl over three. Neither is good. Try to find a way to break the yichud, a neighbor popping in without knocking, a brother and sister, a young couple. Maybe arrange a sleepover for one of them with a friend.
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ahuva06




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 8:29 am
It could be I am confused here but isn't it okay since there is a sibling around? Meaning if you'd get a girl to come babysit, it's okay because you have your 9 year old daughter home. Right or wrong? These laws are complicated, don't take my word for it..
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Sadie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 8:42 am
If you are strict on yichud applying to these ages of children, you'd better hire a male babysitter. Two men and one woman is not yichud, but two women and one man is still yichud (so I learned)
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June




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 9:40 am
becca wrote:
It could be I am confused here but isn't it okay since there is a sibling around? Meaning if you'd get a girl to come babysit, it's okay because you have your 9 year old daughter home. Right or wrong? These laws are complicated, don't take my word for it..


This
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 11:11 am
Ask your LOR. If the girl is going to go to sleep then it could still be Yichud.

My sister has a son and a daughter and they wanted DD to babysit...I don't remember the exact circumstances....but do remember that my niece had to stay up till parents came home.
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LittleDucky




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 11:21 am
Ask LOR. The "little sibling who'll tell" rule I don't think applies here. That's usually around 4-6 years of age.
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LittleDucky




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 11:23 am
Sadie wrote:
If you are strict on yichud applying to these ages of children, you'd better hire a male babysitter. Two men and one woman is not yichud, but two women and one man is still yichud (so I learned)


But it's night... I don't think 2 men work at night...I remember learning something about that.
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 2:14 pm
I'd hire a grandma.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 2:15 pm
marina wrote:
I'd hire a grandma.

Regardless of her age, it's still yichud.
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ahuva06




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 2:16 pm
Iymnok wrote:
Regardless of her age, it's still yichud.


Yup. Yichud ain't about age...
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 2:25 pm
I know. I'm saying for safety.
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amother
Linen


 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 3:15 pm
Thanx everyone. I wish that there were grandparents nearby, but no such luck. I called my LOL. He said that I should hire a boy babysitter, and have a neighbor , with my key, pop in at some point. Now I just have to figure out which neighbor is generally up late, and how to drive the boy home late. Would you leave the kids, with the alarm on the house, sleeping, while leaving at midnight to drive the babysitter home? Thanx.
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 03 2015, 3:18 pm
Quote:
Would you leave the kids, with the alarm on the house, sleeping, while leaving at midnight to drive the babysitter home? Thanx.


not a chance, you never know what could happen in a split second. either see if the babysitter's parent can pick him up, or have him stay over
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 12:26 pm
Iymnok wrote:
Regardless of her age, it's still yichud.


Halachically I believe straight up (and down) the family line isn't yichud. Grandparents aren't in yichud with their own grandchildren...but I could bed wrong.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 12:30 pm
amother wrote:
Halachically I believe straight up (and down) the family line isn't yichud. Grandparents aren't in yichud with their own grandchildren...but I could bed wrong.


I don't think Marina meant grandma literally....she meant a middle-aged woman, not necessarily the children's Grandma.

You are right, there's no yichud between grandchildren and grandparents.
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