Help me with DS | Imamother

amother

Cerise

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 10:05 pm

DS, 10, is constantly complaining that he hates school, because he hates to Daven and learn all day.

He's always been this way, but the problem is escalating.

He's lazy, and has a hard time with structure and discipline.
He needs to do as he pleases.
So I understand why a full day at school is stressful to him.

AFAIK, there's no problem in school, he just really dislikes it.

Can someone tell me where to turn?

Laiya

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 10:20 pm

Please don't call him lazy, as that is a value judgment of his character and intentions. Sitting in a desk all day is hard! I doubt I could do it myself, now.

Also, it's possible your ds may have a touch of ADD that makes focusing hard, he may have sensory issues that make focusing hard, he may have auditory processing issues that make listening to lectures hard.

He may not be getting enough sleep, or eating properly.

He may have a very creative, sharp mind that makes sitting in class boring, but will serve him well in life. He may have a very active, independent personality that is great at getting things done, but again, makes it hard for him to sit in class.

I would try to speak with his teachers before the school year begins and try to brainstorm. Also, consider having him evaluated for any possible issues.

seeker

Wed, Aug 12 2015, 2:28 pm

Two first things coming to mind (besides the BIG HUGE PROBLEM that you are calling your child lazy, which Laiya already addressed above)
1. Rule out any issues that would make a kid hate davening and learning (e.g. problems in visual coordination, dyslexia, sensory processing, attention, etc)
2. Could be bad chemistry with the rebbe, especially if it just got dramatically worse this year. Maybe he needs a class setting that is more easygoing.

amother

Cerise

Wed, Aug 12 2015, 4:05 pm

seeker wrote:

Op here

Just to clarify, I didn't mean to call him a bad kind of lazy.
He just has this slow, laid back kind of nature.
He can't be bothered much, and everything takes him a loooong time to do.
To the point that I got scared it's something physical, so we took all sorts of tests but everything is fine BH.

This has been going on for years, so it isn't a rebbe kind of problem.

He also knows his work pretty ok. Not perfect but good enough. (I praise him for that)