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Kids are so mean to each other!



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amother
Ginger


 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 2:57 pm
My oldest ds 13 is a typicAl oldest child. He wishes the other 4 had never been born and he makes it well known by the way he treats them. He calls them freaks and other names and is generally not nice to them. He is difficult in general and can be very disrespectful to us. My dd 11 is mean to dd 6 who just wants her attention but goes about it in the wrong way by telling on her all the time. Of course this reinforces dd11 meanness. I just wish they would look out for each other and get along.

Those mothers with kids who love eachother and get along, how do you do it??
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amother
Black


 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 8:25 pm
my kids fight like crazy. I hate it too! Mad
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Laiya




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 8:55 pm
There are many parenting books and classes out there, and even with the best parenting, kids will occasionally be mean to each other and fight, but on the whole, it doesn't have to be this way, OP.

The book Siblings Without Rivalry (by the same authors as How to talk so kids will listen...) discusses the long-lasting effects of constant sibling rivalry and childhood fighting; how the pain, jealousy and strained relationships among siblings can persist even through adulthood.

OP, it's great that you're aware of the problem and looking to correct it while they're still young!

Regarding specifics, I will just say one thing: For me, name-calling is a red line that all my kids know they dare not cross. Amongst adults, it would be called verbal abuse, and I have a zero tolerance policy for it in my house.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 9:53 pm
OP, I take offense at calling your eldest "typical". I was a typical oldest: responsible and caring, looking out for my younger siblings, giving them love and attention all the time.
I did frequently have run-ins with the sister right after me, but we are best friends today.

I don't have tips for you, my kids are still little. I agree with Laiya that there must be some rules about onaas devarim and hurting others.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 11:23 pm
Op here. Yes you are right. Typical is the wrong word. It's just my experience. How do you enforce the no namecalling rule?
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