If we wanted to leave NY, where should we go?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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amother

Lilac

Thu, Aug 13 2015, 7:32 pm

We really want to leave NY, but we're afraid. We have a child on the mild end of the spectrum, and he gets all the services he needs, is in an accommodating regular school, and is doing well. I know kids even right over in NJ or CT with similar issues who just don't get the same level of services. And yet, I know the entire special needs population does not reside in NY, so obviously people make it work. Are some places better than others? Would the current IEP be honored if we move, or would we have to go through evals all over again? Also, public school is not an option for us, so the place would need yeshivas we can work with. What communities are worth looking into?

sourstix

Thu, Aug 13 2015, 8:55 pm

well first off I live in lakewood, and the amount of services is pailing in comparison to new york. I would stay were I am if I were you. you do realize no other place is like newyork when you need services. hey you might be lucky, but its probable you wont. small chances. are you willing to take the chance? I have a friend with a lot more issues then yours and she wanted to move and she said nowhere will she get what she gets in new york.

cnc

Thu, Aug 13 2015, 8:56 pm

Sourstix has a very valid point. NY is know to be relatively generous with their services. I know people taht were thinking of moving but ended up staying for this reason alone.

amother

Teal

Thu, Aug 13 2015, 11:25 pm

Amen, sister.
I have been trying for ages to make the right move to get out of NY for my overall family sanity, but recently one of my kids came up with special needs and now I'm feeling more stuck than ever.
I'm thinking maybe Israel.
I know some people who have done well with homeschooling too, but for a few reasons that's not the right fit for our family at least not at this time.

amother

Cyan

Thu, Aug 13 2015, 11:38 pm

I am an administrator of a frum special Ed program in NY and originally an OOTer who never wanted to live here. Aside from possibly Israel, (where language issues will come into play,) you will not find services like you can find in NY, specifically NYC. If you have a mainstream yeshiva that is working with you, and things are going well, do not move! That is so hard to find! I get calls from all over from people who are looking to move to NY to get better services for their child. I totally get not wanting to live in NY, but I think it's too risky for you. Are there children in your child's school from other neighborhoods that you may like better?

amother

Teal

Thu, Aug 13 2015, 11:54 pm

Are there parts of NY where you still get the high level of services but don't have the same pressures as the NY we're all trying to get away from? (insane housing costs that basically guarantee your family will never be financially stable or own property, squashy spaces, no garden/nature of your own though if you ever find time you can see some trees and dirt beyond all the poeple in Prospect or Central Park, materialistic pressures all over, your choice of many different homogenous schools/shuls/communities but not one that is mixed/neutral, pollution, traffic, impossibility of parking, should I go on?)

I worry about language issues and a hundred other things in Israel which is why we're not there just yet but it still seems like a good alternative given how much I feel done with NY.

And I actually LIKE NY for many reasons. Especially next week when the kids are done with camp and not in school yet and I have a BURSTING list of fun, wholesome, cultural, low-cost things to do with them. I am just tired of living here. I want wide open spaces. They say nature is good for kids with special needs too. We tried planting various things on our windowsill and they all die before they get anywhere. It's a hopeless, lifeless place.

brocha1

Fri, Aug 14 2015, 12:17 am

Hi please pm e moved to Israel 5 years ago for my son who was ten at the tome he is dyslexic and on the spectum adhd bh he loves it here and develped beyyer than if he would have stayed in England please pm me for my number im happy to help you

amother

Teal

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 10:54 pm

amother wrote:

Anybody? Anything? Please? Sad

amother

Cyan

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 11:44 pm

I hear you loud and clear about NY! My experience has been NYC is best in terms of services. Did you consider Bayswater?

FranticFrummie

Thu, Sep 03 2015, 2:17 am

We just moved to Israel for DD's education. She's only been in school for 3 days now, but so far she really loves it here. The kids are so much more friendly and accepting of differences, and the teachers are all very involved, loving, and understanding.

amother

Lilac

Thu, Sep 03 2015, 6:34 am

Op here. I would love to make aliyah, but language is among the package of issues with this child, so I don't think it would be wise.

birthday

Thu, Sep 03 2015, 8:11 am

Israel has the best services for kids that need help!! They will help the kids with the language and he will pick it up in no time.

brocha1

Thu, Sep 03 2015, 8:50 am

Hi we moved to Israel five years ago for my son with learning difficulties best thing we ever did pm me if u want help etc frantic frummie pm me to if u need anything

amother

Azure

Thu, Sep 03 2015, 10:12 am

If you must move out of NY and wont move to Israel, there are two major factors in your decision, accommodation of the school and the services that will be provided. If you move to a NJ where there are less provided services, then you have to make sure that the school you choose will work with you. Sometimes the bigger schools have more staff on hand, and sometimes the smaller schools have the flexibility to work with a child with needs.

The bigger communities will probably have better (or at least more) therapists, because there is more competition.

Bear in mind the tuition prices. Some cities like Lakewood charge about 5k for tuition. Your extra services that you would do privately is not on top of a hefty NY tuition.

amother

Teal

Thu, Sep 03 2015, 1:28 pm

amother wrote:

I hear you loud and clear about NY! My experience has been NYC is best in terms of services. Did you consider Bayswater?

Is that considered part of NYC in terms of services provided?

zigi

Thu, Sep 03 2015, 2:33 pm

bayswater is part of queens also far rockaway.

Mama Bear

Thu, Sep 03 2015, 3:41 pm

You can move to Staten island and maybe have your kid continue to be bussed to Brooklyn for school.
a lot chasidish / semi chasidish people are moving to Willowbrook now.

amother

Lilac

Thu, Sep 03 2015, 3:55 pm

I'm not in Brooklyn. There is nowhere I could live that's reasonably close to the current school that would really make any difference. Well, there is, but dh hates that place, so it's not an option. Are there NBN people who know how to deal with SN issues in particular? I know Israel has a pretty good system, but those of you who made aliyah, did your kids davka have language issues? I know FF's story but from what I understand, her dd is very verbal. Mine is verbal, but about a year behind. He had a hard enough time learning English and most of the Hebrew he knows is ritual Hebrew (brachos etc) that I don't think he even knows what any of it means. Typical oleh support services wouldn't cut it, he would likely need more speech than he gets now. If I could get a guarantee that I can get him what he needs, we would definitely consider aliyah.

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