What is a good idea?

amother

Wine

Wed, Aug 26 2015, 7:50 am

if you are a mechanech please tell me what you think?
ds started a new school in middle of last year after pesach. new school just moved, everything new. no idea even what type of system they teach there. I mean the hebrew. kind of similar to old school. but the hebrew teacher didnt call me back till a week after child came into school. he was in second grade hebrew and was 6 yrs old. the english teacher did call me after I called twice. but he came through and worked with ds. ds didnt know a word of english obviously were chasidish and english is spoken but not to young children. so he was exposed but didnt speak it. so another skill to learn. he was totally behind in secular studies. the hebrew teacher had no interest. burned out. what a shame. such young kids with someone who simply didnt care. ds has hyperactivity but does well academically. he can sit if the teacher knows how to engage him. so he has been doing well in that area. but he has a hard time sitting through when its someone thats boring. and doesnt engage. I felt fromt the hebrew teacher a none caring. it was so upsetting. ds also has some social issues. he does get into fights. he doesnt always know how to back off when someone doesnt want something. so he persists. and its nerve wracking. hes a little more sensitive then the usual typical boy. it looks like him not knowing how to get the friend he so badly wanted and sensitivity didnt work for him. he got aggressive and bit another kid. yes I know he crossed boundaries and he was sent home from school for 2 days. and he learned a lesson. hes been going for therapy and is a lot calmer. the boy he bit is kind of on his back still. the issue happenend at end of last year and through out the summer them seeing each other in shul didnt repair it. the other kid keeps looking over at ds. and looks like he isnt finished. so he pushed ds. and ds got a hole in his pants. since the father of the kid teaches in the same school. he is wrong person to speak to about the past issue but becasue it hasnt resolved itself I called him so he can speak with his son before the new year. I didnt blame him I just said I know ds did what he did but the kids are still at odds with each other. he said your son fights with others and has some social issues and I dont know what to tell my son. lets start the new year and give it time. I spoke to ds about it and tried to see it from his point empathize and how to stop fighting. what should I tell ds that will help him in this. I said he should view this kid like a wall if he starts up. dont answer him anything. and to give him a treat the first day, to try to show him hes friends with him. but it looks like ds is still hurt from him. he thinks this kid is telling his father everything. and its probably true. it makes him hate him. what can I do about it. how can I make ds not look in his direction or even care what that kid thinks? I have a feeling this kid is going to make it hard for all the kids. if thats what hes doing. I hope this father uses common sense how to deal with this. what can I do so ds doesnt get involved with this kid again. BTW DS NEVER DID THIS BEFORE EVER. so something triggered it. I am willing to say he had a hard time because of the move and he got aggressive. but its over now. I dont know the personality of this child. how can I speak with the mother and learn something about him. so I get a good picture. I want to have a conversatin that would help me understand him and what is going on. no blaming. how would you have sucha conversation.

PinkFridge

Wed, Aug 26 2015, 8:53 am

OP, I read through your post. I'm taking the liberty of creating paragraphs to make it easier for others who will have good input to read.

Let me summarize: You're chassidish. Your young son started a new school last year and came with no exposure to English. To make things more complicated he has hyperactivity and other social issues. You're getting ongoing therapy - good! - but a fight from last year seems to be affecting his socializing this year. You want to know if and how to speak to the child's parents.

One question, then a suggestion.
Question: I'm not sure if I missed this but besides the socializing therapy are there any other services for learning issues? Yes, he's bright but he still may need different approaches.
Suggestion: edit your thread to something like Need help with ADHD child & dealing with some parents. There is also a forum for mothers dealing with challenging kids. You may not be dealing with the issues some of the parents there are but those mothers have been through the trenches and will have some excellent input.

Hatzlacha!!

amother wrote:

if you are a mechanech please tell me what you think?
ds started a new school in middle of last year after pesach. new school just moved, everything new. no idea even what type of system they teach there. I mean the hebrew. kind of similar to old school. but the hebrew teacher didnt call me back till a week after child came into school.

he was in second grade hebrew and was 6 yrs old. the english teacher did call me after I called twice. but he came through and worked with ds. ds didnt know a word of english obviously we're chasidish and english is spoken but not to young children. so he was exposed but didnt speak it. so another skill to learn. he was totally behind in secular studies.

the hebrew teacher had no interest. burned out. what a shame. such young kids with someone who simply didnt care. ds has hyperactivity but does well academically. he can sit if the teacher knows how to engage him. so he has been doing well in that area. but he has a hard time sitting through when its someone thats boring. and doesnt engage. I felt fromt the hebrew teacher a none caring. it was so upsetting.

ds also has some social issues. he does get into fights. he doesnt always know how to back off when someone doesnt want something. so he persists. and its nerve wracking. hes a little more sensitive then the usual typical boy. it looks like him not knowing how to get the friend he so badly wanted and sensitivity didnt work for him. he got aggressive and bit another kid. yes I know he crossed boundaries and he was sent home from school for 2 days. and he learned a lesson. hes been going for therapy and is a lot calmer. the boy he bit is kind of on his back still. the issue happenend at end of last year and through out the summer them seeing each other in shul didnt repair it. the other kid keeps looking over at ds. and looks like he isnt finished. so he pushed ds. and ds got a hole in his pants. since the father of the kid teaches in the same school. he is wrong person to speak to about the past issue but becasue it hasnt resolved itself I called him so he can speak with his son before the new year. I didnt blame him I just said I know ds did what he did but the kids are still at odds with each other. he said your son fights with others and has some social issues and I dont know what to tell my son. lets start the new year and give it time.

I spoke to ds about it and tried to see it from his point empathize and how to stop fighting. what should I tell ds that will help him in this. I said he should view this kid like a wall if he starts up. dont answer him anything. and to give him a treat the first day, to try to show him hes friends with him. but it looks like ds is still hurt from him. he thinks this kid is telling his father everything. and its probably true. it makes him hate him. what can I do about it. how can I make ds not look in his direction or even care what that kid thinks? I have a feeling this kid is going to make it hard for all the kids. if thats what hes doing. I hope this father uses common sense how to deal with this. what can I do so ds doesnt get involved with this kid again. BTW DS NEVER DID THIS BEFORE EVER. so something triggered it. I am willing to say he had a hard time because of the move and he got aggressive. but its over now. I dont know the personality of this child. how can I speak with the mother and learn something about him. so I get a good picture. I want to have a conversatin that would help me understand him and what is going on. no blaming. how would you have sucha conversation.

amother

Wine

Wed, Aug 26 2015, 11:59 am

thanks so much for both replies. no he has no learning issues. hes actually doing great in that area. its just some adjustment issues socially that had him doing what he did. I wouldnt label him add/adhd. thats a strong word for such a child. hes not out of control. he had a hard time get used to the place especially there was no rebbe to get help from and he came in so late in the year and wasnt exactly welcomed by this rebbe. ds is doing much better now. this other kid is bugging him and constantly telling him that he will go to the principle whenever he gets into any issues with other kids he became a stick to my son. I dont know him so I cant tell if this is his personality. or hes not over it yet. or ds is agravating it with him. I cant know unless I am there. so I will call the new rebbe, and tell that he had a hard time and can he help him socially. steer clear of kids hes not good with. and help me see who he is good with to make some playdates. like this idea. I will speak with dh to see if hes on the same page with me.