Hair covering when lighting

jj123

Sun, Aug 30 2015, 8:18 am

Just wondering, when I'm home and light shabbos candles I don't cover my hair if no one but my husband is around since I don't cover my hair in my house if no one else is there.
Is there any halacha to cover my hair when lighting?

animeme

Sun, Aug 30 2015, 8:55 am

Many people have a minhag to cover whenever they say deva rim shebikdushah.

When I got married, I covered my hair, which my mother didn't do. One day early on when I didn't cover in my house, she was visiting, and saw me come in from taking out the trash, take off my snood, and daven. When I was finished, she commented that she wasn't brought up to cover her hair in general, but always to put something on for davening, so she was confused. From then on, I try to cover for davening, because I see this as a family minhag.

Last edited by animeme on Sun, Aug 30 2015, 2:33 pm; edited 1 time in total

jj123

Sun, Aug 30 2015, 9:01 am

Right so my mother doesn't cover her hair either but puts something on her head when lighting.
I don't know where she got this from. But basically you're saying it is more a minhag than actual halacha and just go according to our minhag, but this would also apply when davening?
I don't cover when davening either, but neither does my mother (but then again I never see her davening unless it a Holiday where we would be at shul where she would wear a hat or something.

Iymnok

Sun, Aug 30 2015, 11:12 am

I always cover, but my non-religious Bubby only did in Shul and when lighting candles. Sometimes just a scarf draped over her head.
You can even keep a special scarf nearby to throw over yourself for this mitzvah.

milkshake

Sun, Aug 30 2015, 11:29 am

Interesting that this thread is going on as the same time as the thread asking about the source for covering the sheitel with a white scarf on Friday night. I heard that the minhag for covering with a scarf on friday night originated from people who didn't always cover but were makpid to cover for candle lighting.

mille

Sun, Aug 30 2015, 2:18 pm

I don't cover my hair in my house normally, candle lighting or not. I feel like at one point I asked a rabbi (or maybe my mother in law did, who doesn't normally cover at home but covers for candle lighting), and I was told it was minhag not halacha. It definitely seems more of a custom for those who never cover in their own home with immediate family, even if they make another bracha.

sweetpotato

Sun, Aug 30 2015, 3:34 pm

I cover my hair completely outside the house, but not at home around my immediate family/other women. For the first year or so of marriage I did not cover my hair specially for lighting, if just at home with my husband. But then I saw how my husband's bubbie (z"l), who didn't normally cover her hair, was very makpid always to put something on her head when lighting, even a napkin. So whether minhag or whatever, I now do it for spiritual reasons and in her honor.

myself

Sun, Aug 30 2015, 4:18 pm

sweetpotato wrote:

Out of curiosity, those of you that don't cover in the house and/or around family, do you cover when you open the front door? Does it matter if outsiders see your uncovered hair when your front door is open? Would you put on a head covering to take the post/throw out the garbage etc.?

Not trying to derail this thread, just really curious as to how you go about it. Smile

Back to candle lighting - do those that cover for candle lighting cover for davening too?

jj123

Sun, Aug 30 2015, 4:33 pm

I cover completely (sans 2 fingers worth of hair in the front or wtvr) if anyone were to come to the door or anything like that but just if no one is home to see then I don't like having something on my head.

dee's mommy

Sun, Aug 30 2015, 5:15 pm

I happen to cover my hair for lighting, simply because I always cover my hair.

Both my mother and mother in law don't (neither my husband or I grew up frum) but they always put a doily on their heads for candlelighting.

Maybe you can get a very pretty piece of lace or something really special for that moment if you would like to.

imalady

Sun, Aug 30 2015, 5:25 pm

Not a Rabbi, so I wouldn't know an exact source but...

It seems that there is a basis to cover your hair when you say a berachah. I'm not a Rabbi, but one thing is for sure, probably nine out of ten people with elderly non frum grandparents has seen her grandmother put on a doily for this and for going to shul. I don't know the reason but I think its kind of universal enough to take seriously.

But you should ask a Rabbi who'd actually know.

milkshake

Sun, Aug 30 2015, 10:36 pm

dee's mommy wrote:

Cute avatar!

fluffernutter

Mon, Aug 31 2015, 12:56 am

In E"Y, when going to the mikva (all the ones I've been to) the mikva lady coverse your hair as you say the bracha. Based on that, I'd assume that one should cover their hair when making a bracha/davening.

chani8

Mon, Aug 31 2015, 1:52 am

There are varying reasons for covering. It depends on why you cover, or not. Some cover to show yiras shamayim, some cover for tznius, some cover for cultural reasons.

I do not cover in the home at all anymore, except when I light and when I daven shmonah esray, and when I have religious guests.

When I cover for candle lighting, it's to feel connected to Jewish women.
For shemonah esray, I cover with my tallis, and it makes me feel more connected to Hashem.
I cover for religious guests to not shock their sensitivities.

Ruchel

Mon, Aug 31 2015, 6:21 am

fluffernutter wrote:

It is everywhere I have been.

My grandmother covers to light. I don't. She doesn't cover outside. I do. Frankly if I had to fish for a cover for every bracha I would make less Wink