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Why are rebbes doing this?!
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:00 pm
my son is 7 yrs old and the rebbe wants him in bed at 7:45. I have so much pressure from this. I hate hate hate it. please explain why the kid and mother needs all this pressure. I have so much more to deal with.
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The Happy Wife




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:03 pm
Is this a normal thing? To be told what time your kid should go to sleep?

Was your child tired or having problems, or was this just because he thinks all 7 year olds should.? And what happens if you don't do this?
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LiLIsraeli




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:04 pm
I understand it. My kids' entire day is different when they get enough sleep.


ETA: I wouldn't stress about it too much. Try to have him in bed at 7:45. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But it's a good guideline.
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Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:07 pm
I understand it too. The rebbes don't want to deal with tired cranky kids, same as you don't.

I think the mothers would be happy about the kids going to sleep on time. I don't think I've ever heard someone complain about this Smile
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amother
Pink


 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:08 pm
I have the same with my kids menahales. Telling me to let the kids go to school by themselves on the bike,when to go to bed,make sure to sign everyday that they did their hw( which I do) she says that my son is autistic and to get him evaluated and that he cant come back to school if we dont have a paper from the dr.( we have been for 5 appointments and the dr doesnt think that he is) Btw she didnt say anything about the stupid paper.

Maybe its control, does he say other things also? Or maybe he finds that your ds is tired during school and could do with some more sleep.

If he is tired tell him that it takes time to get back to routine after the holidays etc.

Good luck
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Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:10 pm
My kid's Cheder always had a recommended bedtime, and I remember it from my childhood too. Seems it's a standard thing in some communities.
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abs




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:12 pm
If you send an overtired kid to school, the rebbe has to deal with him acting up all day. It's in everyone's best interest to have a well-rested child in school. It's only hard until you get into the routine. Then you'll appreciate it too!
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mommyla




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:16 pm
My son is the same age and his rebbi does that too. I love it - it's an added incentive to get to bed on time (there's a section on his homework sheet where you write what time he went to bed). I also find that it's a good way to communicate with the rebbi - if he went to sleep late for whatever reason, the rebbi knows about it and can expect some increased crankiness and/or misbehavior.

His rebbi last year (and the year before) did it too. The only thing I'm annoyed about this year is that it's been bumped up to 8:00! Very Happy
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small bean




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:19 pm
I also think it's an incentive to go to bed on time. honestly, I think by 7.45 a 7yr old should be in bed.
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Coke Slurpee




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:20 pm
I've heard of teachers who set a specific bedtime; in theory it's a great idea. Children learn best when they get enough sleep. Encouraging young children to go to sleep "on time" is a great idea. That might work with a younger family, but a family with older children impossible. The parents can't/won't do it and the child loses out when parents don't sign.
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PinkandYellow




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:20 pm
Many of my son's rebbeim do this. He is going into 4th grade. They have recommended bedtime and some kind of reward system. This encourages the kids to cooperate to go to sleep on time. For my son, I've developed this system: go into bed at 7:45 or 8. Read for 15-30 minutes, then lights out and time to go to sleep. The biggest relief for you will be to have your son in bed at a regular scheduled time. Sleep or no sleep, everyone will benefit.
Kids aged 7-12 should be getting 10-11 hours per sleep a night. Note what time he wakes up and work back from there.
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mommyla




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:25 pm
I actually don't think there was any reward system in place for going to bed on time for the last two years, but for some reason it worked anyway. And I liked being able to "excuse" a cranky child's behavior if he went to sleep late.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:30 pm
Can't comment on other forms of control but having kids in bed early is SO critical to their being able to learn and function properly. A child that age needs 10 to 11 hours per sleep as recommended by most pediatricians so run the math in terms of how to get that many hours.

It's not because the school is being selfish and doesn't want to deal with a cranky child but because a tired child isn't going to learn and presumably parents want their child in an optimum physical and mental condition to do the work of the child which is to learn.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:41 pm
I appreciated when the rebbe did it.
But it shouldn't be a pressure on you. Make it a "pressure" on your son. He should have a schedule and keep to it (like shower, read, PJ, bed times etc). A chart for the beginning may work for him (not for a prize, just for tracking what he has to do) If he doesn't keep to it then you can't tell his rebbe he is on time.
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shoshanim999




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:52 pm
sourstix wrote:
my son is 7 yrs old and the rebbe wants him in bed at 7:45. I have so much pressure from this. I hate hate hate it. please explain why the kid and mother needs all this pressure. I have so much more to deal with.



I would respectfully say that it says something about you that you "hate hate hate this". There is no reason whatsoever that this is seemingly causing you so much stress. I can't imagine that there will be real meaningful follow up with this, its OBVIOUSLY a suggestion. I can assure you, your son won't be sent back home if he tells his rebbe he went to bed at 8:30. Get a grip!
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morah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 9:01 pm
That sounds a bit on the early side for 7 but not much, and anyway, a lot depends on when he needs to wake up. Kids need sleep. It's tough at the beginning of the year, which is why it is recommended to start going back to school year bedtimes a week or two in advance. In any event, why is it such a pressure? Is the rebbe going to come over and scold you for not keeping to the suggested bedtime? Definitely be on top of your son to get to sleep at a time that allows for 10 or so hours before he has to wake up, but I don't think you need to worry about the rebbe.
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yenny




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 9:02 pm
sourstix wrote:
my son is 7 yrs old and the rebbe wants him in bed at 7:45. I have so much pressure from this. I hate hate hate it. please explain why the kid and mother needs all this pressure. I have so much more to deal with.


Just got a good laugh
MY son is 7 years old and the rebbe let's him be out of bed till7:45. I have so much pressure from my son ,he doesn't want to go to sleep earlier even if I would want him in bed by 7:30.I hate hate hate this.
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Happy18




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 9:02 pm
I think its inappropriate for a teacher to set a bedtime. To recommend children go to sleep early or get a good nights rest is fine. An actual time is weird.
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abs




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 9:04 pm
My sons had one rebbe that has an incentive program with bedtime. Parents set their own bedtime, but it wasn't to be later than 9. (Kids were a bit older than 7)
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amother
Teal


 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 9:49 pm
My sons rebbe also wrote bedtime the HW sheet but the rebbe didn't give incentives for it and obviously he didn't come to my house to check if...but I put the pressure on myself to get him into bed early bec he must get up early for school and I know getting enough sleep helps ensure they get most out of school in terms of learning and behavior. ......but I also hate having to put them to sleep early because they don't want to ....meanwhile the rebbe pressures me about other unimportant things..
Good luck
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