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Can't stand the sheitel look anymore
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boymom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 2:44 pm
actually I think that there are so many different shaitel styles out there and all are considered "in". there are so many options! seriously! and a good shaitel macher will help you find a style to suit YOUR needs and not everyone elses.
you can do beach curls, waves, straight, theres diff types of bangs, diff lengths....flipped, under....
personally I was very happy to wear a shaitel- I think I look way better in a wig than with my own hair. my own hair is thin, frizzy, curly, hard to manage, going to a simcha meant taking my hair into consideration- how much in advance to wash, leave time to blow and iron out the frizz etc. now, with a shaitel, I can just pop it on and leave. ez. convenient.
and when I get older, I wont have to worry about dying my graying hair....
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bamba




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 4:36 pm
It's a shame that you feel this way. Nowadays there are always Sheitel sales and you don't have to spend 3000$ to get a nice wig there are plenty of cheaper natural lines for under 1000$ and sales on wigs also for that price. I didn't pay loads for my wigs when I got married, I haven't been married for ages but I still want a new wig (who doesn't?!?) don't know the length of your wig but I started to do all sorts of things to my wigs to make them more exciting. Plaits pony pinning back etc. just makes it more exciting and maybe even makes it look or feel more like your hair as opposed to dumping on the same thing every day. Oh and by the way I am one of the h@@kers who would love such a long wavy natural wiG. Would make me feel most like my hair!
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 8:44 pm
IMHO after age 30, many women look better in a sheital than their natural hair. Before 30, it can be a bit aging.

And yes, those loong wavy sheitals many women wear are very va va voom.
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Sparkle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 10:12 pm
I second the woman who mentioned scarves. I stopped wearing a sheitel 2 years ago, and have never looked back since! I found ways to tie the scarves to flatter my face, and I feel much prettier in them than I ever felt in a sheitel. Not to mention more comfortable!
Also, you can buy hundred of different scarves, and still not come close to the price of a sheitel. And no upkeep $ either ;-)
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 01 2015, 11:44 pm
Good quality synthetics.....

Somewhere between seventy and two hundred dollars is a nice one for anybody. They are lightweight, open-weave cool, easy care, impervious to rain, cute, natural looking, modern styled, and never need setting. They die in about a year.

At those prices, if it dies, you don't cry. You just buy another one. You bought several of the same style in the first place, anyway, once you found a style that worked for you.

Your mistakes went to a gemach.

It just takes the "big deal" out of the whole thing.

I got into synthetics online because there was no wig source anywhere near me, and also, the prices completely intimidated me. The whole thing intimidated me.

This, I could handle. My first one came from Light In The Box and now I use Vogue but there are many good websites. And wash and shake them; of course they look too new when they ARE too new.

Happy hair. I wish I had had them in high school.
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 12:25 am
There's a reason many women are getting fed up with wigs and wearing beautiful scarves and tichels instead!
Besides being uncomfortable and expensive the wigs are causing jealousy and competitive feelings among women. The ones who can't afford nice ones always feel bad about themselves and the nice wigs are generally immodest Cuz they look super natural and beautiful defeating the entire purpose of covering ones hair!
The wigs are truly today's avoda zora. Go to any simcha and and listen to how women sound. The conversation always leads to talk about wigs- with everyone comparing their shuli's and shevys and kikis! It sounds totally ridiculous! This is not why we are covering our hair- it's not to fool the world and make us look like we are not covering our hair, and in fact look even more provocative. We cover our hair so we should like married jewish women with a head covering on our head! If women choose to wear a wig it's not allowed to halachically look like natural hair. If only women would learn about the topic they would understand that it this mitzvah had become a complete farce. It's become a total mockery. This is not meant to insult. It's just the truth- even if pple don't want to accept it.
Wearing a beautiful, natural wig is not a kiddush Hashem! It's totally the opposite. We have become totally desensitized to this, and the wig industry has taken over all the ads and convinced women that this is the right way to fulfill the mitzvah- it's totally not!
its entrenched in our culture.
For anyone interested- Rav shlomo zalman Auerbach said that first thing moshiach is going to do when he arrives is to abolish the use of wigs! I have read that statements in various seforim with strong haskamos. Since the world is going crazy right now and we seem to be on the verge of moshiach coming I think that everyone should get their tichels ready! Don't worry about wigs that look bad- they are actually more "kosher" Cuz they don't look just like hair and they actually look like a head covering.
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trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 4:29 am
amother wrote:
There's a reason many women are getting fed up with wigs and wearing beautiful scarves and tichels instead!
Besides being uncomfortable and expensive the wigs are causing jealousy and competitive feelings among women. The ones who can't afford nice ones always feel bad about themselves and the nice wigs are generally immodest Cuz they look super natural and beautiful defeating the entire purpose of covering ones hair!
The wigs are truly today's avoda zora. Go to any simcha and and listen to how women sound. The conversation always leads to talk about wigs- with everyone comparing their shuli's and shevys and kikis! It sounds totally ridiculous! This is not why we are covering our hair- it's not to fool the world and make us look like we are not covering our hair, and in fact look even more provocative. We cover our hair so we should like married jewish women with a head covering on our head! If women choose to wear a wig it's not allowed to halachically look like natural hair. If only women would learn about the topic they would understand that it this mitzvah had become a complete farce. It's become a total mockery. This is not meant to insult. It's just the truth- even if pple don't want to accept it.
Wearing a beautiful, natural wig is not a kiddush Hashem! It's totally the opposite. We have become totally desensitized to this, and the wig industry has taken over all the ads and convinced women that this is the right way to fulfill the mitzvah- it's totally not!
its entrenched in our culture.
For anyone interested- Rav shlomo zalman Auerbach said that first thing moshiach is going to do when he arrives is to abolish the use of wigs! I have read that statements in various seforim with strong haskamos. Since the world is going crazy right now and we seem to be on the verge of moshiach coming I think that everyone should get their tichels ready! Don't worry about wigs that look bad- they are actually more "kosher" Cuz they don't look just like hair and they actually look like a head covering.


And there are other equally valid opinions that a wig is the most mehudar way to cover hair as no hair shows. The Lubavitcher Rebbe was very pro women feeling beautiful in their wigs and encouraged husbands to buy their wives a 2nd if necessary.

Just saying, you do what you believe in and let everyone else do what they believe in.
Besides for the fact that this doesn't answer op question. And if you stand by what you say where's your username?

By the way, thank gd I can always talk about a wig, easiest way to make small talk. And that's the real reason women discuss it at simchos.

OP, there are definitely more shaitely looks, curly, perfect etc. My wig is long (gasp! I'm a shiksa! I'm a hooker! You can't eat in my home!) but it has lots of baby hair, gets tangled, is straight and never gets curled, and in short looks natural (and guess what, I will still get olam haba, and if I don't then I'll see you in the other place). Yes it costs money unfortunately, but jst know there are other styles out there that you can try besides the side bangs and perfect curls. And as someone posted, professional women have perfectly blow dried hair every day, it's not so far fetched to have a beautiful wig.

Edit: I don't know where you live but the trend is definitely towards more natural wigs. Off the top of my head, sary, yaffi, Barbara run the gamut of textures and prices from 1k long and straight-4k for a curly Barbara. Focus on a good front and hair texture. It will cost bc you're looking for quality of hair over hairstyle, but it sounds like something that you feel would be worth it. Maybe combine several presents from dh into one big wig. Or you can try buying second hand from consignment places like red carpet wigs or jewel wigs. Or maybe it's yoir community that's stuck in the fancy wigs. Regardless, it is your mitzvah you deserve to feel fabulous especially if headscarves are not an option.... Good luck
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 7:46 am
I truly doubt the lubavatcher Rebbe would have been an advacote of a long beautiful wig!
I think it's time for women to be honest with themselves- a long beautiful wig does physically cover the hair but it also a beged pritzus. It is most definitely provocative and it causes men to look. It is attracting. The same way clothing needs to be modest and refined out head coverings need to be modest and refined.
The same way a skirt could fully cover the knees but still be pritzus and not allowed (too tight etc..) a sheitel could cover all the hair and be pritzus. Women could convince fhemselves that they are going to gan Eden by wearing a gorgeous wig but in the olam haemes the truth will be apparent to all. Pritzus, whether in clothing or in sheitels, angers Hashem. It causes others to sin, it is a stumbling block for men- so if a woman sees a man glance at her Cuz of her clothing or sheitel she should be very worried. It does not bode well in the next world.
But the reality is that women are just not being educated about the topic. Covering our hair is one of the most important mitzvos we have. Before Chava sinned Her hair was neat and braided by Hashem. After she sinned her hair became wild like a storm. Part of her tikun from that point was to cover her hair- to restrain herself. To use her binah yeseirah to guide her husband in the right direction. The brain is where out bina is, our hair covers our brain. That's why the head covering is so important. Think about it logically, if Chavas hair became wild Cuz of her sin and she had to cover it as a tikun, do the wigs we are wearing make any sence?
And if we cover our hair after marriage Cuz our hair becomes ervah, which means it is an area that is attracting to men, does it make any sense to put on a beautiful wig after marriage? There's a reason that so many Gedolim screamed about the wigs and called many of today's wigs ervah- it doesn't matter whether it's your own hair or a wig, if it attracting to men, as a married women it's assur. Period.
And honestly, if we are wearing the same wigs that actresses and models are wearing than we know there is a problem! And that's what's happening. Women only began wearing wigs about 200 years ago Cuz of decrees in Europe not allowing women to wear a Tichel to cover their hair. The rabbis at the time allowed the women to wear these ugly wigs so they shouldn't walk around bare headed. They never would have allowed these wigs! The yetzer hora has been having a field day today! He knows how important this mitzvah is so he has really messed it up for everyone. Only recently have the wigs starting looking so natural and beautiful.
The chofetz chaim said that before moshiach comes there going to be a great spritual war between purity and impurity. You could see with the non jews that the tumah today is so strong. Just look at what's accepted In dress! Fifty years ago non jews would never have walked around the way they are walking around today. It's all over.
And unfortunately it happening in the frum world too. This new provocative look with a tight pencil skirt and tight Kiki Riki with any not tznius top over it with a long wavy beautiful sheitel is beyond pritzus. We have become totally desensitized, everyone thinks it's fine. It's not. The wigs are not okay. This type of clothing is not okay.
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bamba




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 9:59 am
So let's all walk around with heavy plastic wigs on our head that looks like a mop and wear black bin bags because that won't make the men stare. There are plenty of ways to dress stylish and with the times without looking pritzus and not tzanua. And btw the tight pencil skirt and tight Kiki Riki with a top over it. Usually the top over it is to cover the tightness I'm not sure why it would be "not tznius".
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youngishbear




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 11:03 am
amother wrote:
I truly doubt the lubavatcher Rebbe would have been an advacote of a long beautiful wig!
I think it's time for women to be honest with themselves- a long beautiful wig does physically cover the hair but it also a beged pritzus. It is most definitely provocative and it causes men to look. It is attracting. The same way clothing needs to be modest and refined out head coverings need to be modest and refined.
The same way a skirt could fully cover the knees but still be pritzus and not allowed (too tight etc..) a sheitel could cover all the hair and be pritzus. Women could convince fhemselves that they are going to gan Eden by wearing a gorgeous wig but in the olam haemes the truth will be apparent to all. Pritzus, whether in clothing or in sheitels, angers Hashem. It causes others to sin, it is a stumbling block for men- so if a woman sees a man glance at her Cuz of her clothing or sheitel she should be very worried. It does not bode well in the next world.
But the reality is that women are just not being educated about the topic. Covering our hair is one of the most important mitzvos we have. Before Chava sinned Her hair was neat and braided by Hashem. After she sinned her hair became wild like a storm. Part of her tikun from that point was to cover her hair- to restrain herself. To use her binah yeseirah to guide her husband in the right direction. The brain is where out bina is, our hair covers our brain. That's why the head covering is so important. Think about it logically, if Chavas hair became wild Cuz of her sin and she had to cover it as a tikun, do the wigs we are wearing make any sence?
And if we cover our hair after marriage Cuz our hair becomes ervah, which means it is an area that is attracting to men, does it make any sense to put on a beautiful wig after marriage? There's a reason that so many Gedolim screamed about the wigs and called many of today's wigs ervah- it doesn't matter whether it's your own hair or a wig, if it attracting to men, as a married women it's assur. Period.
And honestly, if we are wearing the same wigs that actresses and models are wearing than we know there is a problem! And that's what's happening. Women only began wearing wigs about 200 years ago Cuz of decrees in Europe not allowing women to wear a Tichel to cover their hair. The rabbis at the time allowed the women to wear these ugly wigs so they shouldn't walk around bare headed. They never would have allowed these wigs! The yetzer hora has been having a field day today! He knows how important this mitzvah is so he has really messed it up for everyone. Only recently have the wigs starting looking so natural and beautiful.
The chofetz chaim said that before moshiach comes there going to be a great spritual war between purity and impurity. You could see with the non jews that the tumah today is so strong. Just look at what's accepted In dress! Fifty years ago non jews would never have walked around the way they are walking around today. It's all over.
And unfortunately it happening in the frum world too. This new provocative look with a tight pencil skirt and tight Kiki Riki with any not tznius top over it with a long wavy beautiful sheitel is beyond pritzus. We have become totally desensitized, everyone thinks it's fine. It's not. The wigs are not okay. This type of clothing is not okay.


I had a hard time reading the whole post because you neglected to press enter to give my poor eyes some white space.

I did notice that you doubt the lubavitcher rebbe would encourage the sheitlech women wear today.

I do believe this is exactly what he encouraged - for women to look and feel absolutely beautiful.
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trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 11:58 am
amother wrote:
I truly doubt the lubavatcher Rebbe would have been an advacote of a long beautiful wig!
I think it's time for women to be honest with themselves- a long beautiful wig does physically cover the hair but it also a beged pritzus. It is most definitely provocative and it causes men to look. It is attracting. The same way clothing needs to be modest and refined out head coverings need to be modest and refined.
The same way a skirt could fully cover the knees but still be pritzus and not allowed (too tight etc..) a sheitel could cover all the hair and be pritzus. Women could convince fhemselves that they are going to gan Eden by wearing a gorgeous wig but in the olam haemes the truth will be apparent to all. Pritzus, whether in clothing or in sheitels, angers Hashem. It causes others to sin, it is a stumbling block for men- so if a woman sees a man glance at her Cuz of her clothing or sheitel she should be very worried. It does not bode well in the next world.
But the reality is that women are just not being educated about the topic. Covering our hair is one of the most important mitzvos we have. Before Chava sinned Her hair was neat and braided by Hashem. After she sinned her hair became wild like a storm. Part of her tikun from that point was to cover her hair- to restrain herself. To use her binah yeseirah to guide her husband in the right direction. The brain is where out bina is, our hair covers our brain. That's why the head covering is so important. Think about it logically, if Chavas hair became wild Cuz of her sin and she had to cover it as a tikun, do the wigs we are wearing make any sence?
And if we cover our hair after marriage Cuz our hair becomes ervah, which means it is an area that is attracting to men, does it make any sense to put on a beautiful wig after marriage? There's a reason that so many Gedolim screamed about the wigs and called many of today's wigs ervah- it doesn't matter whether it's your own hair or a wig, if it attracting to men, as a married women it's assur. Period.
And honestly, if we are wearing the same wigs that actresses and models are wearing than we know there is a problem! And that's what's happening. Women only began wearing wigs about 200 years ago Cuz of decrees in Europe not allowing women to wear a Tichel to cover their hair. The rabbis at the time allowed the women to wear these ugly wigs so they shouldn't walk around bare headed. They never would have allowed these wigs! The yetzer hora has been having a field day today! He knows how important this mitzvah is so he has really messed it up for everyone. Only recently have the wigs starting looking so natural and beautiful.
The chofetz chaim said that before moshiach comes there going to be a great spritual war between purity and impurity. You could see with the non jews that the tumah today is so strong. Just look at what's accepted In dress! Fifty years ago non jews would never have walked around the way they are walking around today. It's all over.
And unfortunately it happening in the frum world too. This new provocative look with a tight pencil skirt and tight Kiki Riki with any not tznius top over it with a long wavy beautiful sheitel is beyond pritzus. We have become totally desensitized, everyone thinks it's fine. It's not. The wigs are not okay. This type of clothing is not okay.


I truly doubt this mussar is coming from a place of ahavas yisroel. Cobalt, I understand and appreciate that you feel strongly about this topic, but please don't preach. Mostly because the attitude is such a turn off. Length of sheitel has nothing to do with tight skirts so don't equate the two. Don't lord your gadol over my gadol. As long as we are both covering our hair, we are okay, and you can subject your own daughter to your opinions on tznius. Covering hair is a very very difficult thing and the fact that any woman does so is to be applauded, not put down because YOU don't agree with HER way of doing it.
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happybeingamom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 12:09 pm
Cobalt amother is there a reason you feel the need to be a prosecutor against N'shei Yisroel? Look for their zchusim there are many
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 12:12 pm
A tzniusdige woman can also look good, they dont contradict each other. Please stop comparing. Yes some sheitels dont look appropriate. But it is not my place to judge and I wouldnt think less of a woman that wears a long long sheitel versus one that wears a short synthetic one..each person knows what level they are on...each person should look at themselves and not be so concerned about what "others" are doing wrong...all OP asked was if anyone felt the same way...not to start a tznius bashing session
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musicmom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 1:26 pm
Wow.

Have you ever noticed that we are all different? Maybe we keep kosher differently? Cover our hair differently?

Yet we can still acknowledge and be respectful of each other without name calling.

In the secular world, women can wear WHATEVER they want, and it is still not okay for people to call or treat them like a h**ker. People really do have to learn to treat each other with respect in college, regardless of how one dresses.

I really don't think long sheitels is fair ground for name calling. We should all learn to be respectful of each other regardless of how differently we each do things. Maybe, obviously, some people are more challenged than others by covering our hair. ANY EFFORT at all should be acknowledged and supported instead of bashed by women who SHOULD be trying to support one another.
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