Am I Chardal? Where to look?

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Israel related Inquiries & Aliyah Questions

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Tan

Tue, Sep 01 2015, 10:03 am

I, like so many Americans, have a hard time defining ourselves in israEl.
I'm certainly not chareidi, don't think I'm daati Leumi... Am I Chardal?
I don't wear socks , cover my hair (I show a bit in front with fall or tichel), my girls wear short sleeves till 10 or so... Seems so shallow that I'm only describing appearances!
My husband comes from a MO background but has moved more right. We are not yeshivish though he admires the system (I, not as much). He wears a black hat on Shabbos but is not married to it.
We watch tv, have Internet...
My kids range in age from baby to nearly 12.
I've been told to check out areas of Bet Shemesh (ie Sheinfeld) or in RBS. Recently I've been told to check out Nof Ayalon. I have relatives who live there who are DL/Chardal but very Israeli. Is here an Anglo community there? Young?
Any guidance is much appreciated!

grace413

Tue, Sep 01 2015, 10:14 am

You are not Chardal (TV, internet, short sleeves past age 3, no socks).

You are Dati Leumi Machmir or Dati Leumi Torani.

You would probably find like minded people in some areas of Bet Shemesh/Ramat Bet Shemesh.

You'd fit in my neighborhood, Mitzpeh Nevo in Maale Adumim. We don't have too many Shabbat black hats, but otherwise your description is very on target.

heidi

Tue, Sep 01 2015, 10:22 am

I think you'd be happy in Nof Ayalon, or the expansion they've done on the kibbutz (it's the same place but one is called Nof Ayalon and the other Shalavim).
You sound alot like us and I think there are lots of yishuvim like that, but very few with a nice amount of Americans.

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Sep 01 2015, 10:25 am

Nof Ayalon and Sheinfeld are good suggestions. There are Anglos in Nof Ayalon but housing is tight. Same for Alon Shvut, which could also be a good match.

mandksima

Tue, Sep 01 2015, 4:34 pm

You sound like me and I live in a dati leumi area. I have lived in a charedi area before and it wasn't right for me. I could never be accepted there. I have found it easier here in Israel to be in an open minded dati leumi community (there's a big mix here) where anything goes and be myself than try to fit in a more chardal/charedi area where people are always moving to the right especially if they have kids because most schools are extreme in one way or another and not too much in the middle. More and more chumrot when it is already hard to be the best Jew you can be without all of that.

There are obstacles anywhere you go. We have friends that loved the people here but said they just couldn't move here because everyone eats plain rabbanut hechsher and they didn't like that. For me, it was the most freeing thing after living with only the top charedi Ashkenazi hechshers for so long. If my rav here eats it, it is okay with me. I ask him all of my shailot and I trust his word.

It can sometimes be a harder challenge to find a lot of like minded people who adhere to the mitzvot the best they can and always yearn to grow spiritually on a daily basis but we are free of conformity for conformity's sake and can focus on the priorities of life. Torah, a strong connection to Hashem and Yirat Shamayim is very important to me and my like minded friends. Don't think dati leumi areas don't have that as much as more chardal/charedi. It just is more understated.

As a stubborn person in general, I don't like being told what I should do (someone else's opinion, not halacha) so I need a community where I can decide what is best for me and my family. I can send my kids to the schools best for them and not be shunned if my kids choose their own path in life. Anyway, this is my preception. Perhaps food for thought.

You also need to consider if you want a mixed neighborhood of religious and not-yet religious or only religious.

JMM-uc

Tue, Sep 01 2015, 4:45 pm

Nof Ayalon for sure. Much more your type and there are plenty of Americans there.

RBS is very charedi

amother

Magenta

Tue, Sep 01 2015, 4:49 pm

JMM-uc wrote:

RBS is very charedi

I do not agree.
RBS-B is very charedi. RBS-A is mixed. RBS-G is mixed but still evolving.
RBS-A might be a very good fit.

catonmylap

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 12:28 am

I think you would be good in Maale Adumim too; especially if you are comfortable with more diversity..

etky

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 12:52 am

Look into Tekoa.
I think it might be a good match for you.
The community has grown tremendously in recent years.
Decent number of Anglos and lots of people who sound a lot like you religiously.
It is a mixed religious/secular community but the religious sector far outweighs the secular.

amother

Honeydew

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 12:59 am

amother wrote:

A lot of people just like you in RBS/Ramat Shilo. But many drop the hat when they get here (my own husband for one). It's very hot here and it also puts you into a more chareidi category.

amother

Tan

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 1:11 am

OP
Thank you all so much!
I was told of a new development in RBS, still being built, that is also attracting ppl like me. Anyone have details?

About RBS in general- I know ppl in a nearby area (nofei aviv) who have been screamed at and harassed by ppl in RBS. Is this common place? Is this just that one section? What is it like to live there among the chareidim, being DL..? Is there a sizable DL area overall or do DL folk go to one specific section?

I'm open to being in diverse area but would feel more comfortable among Anglos- for the kids mostly but also for me.
Thanks again!

amother

Tan

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 1:15 am

OP-
One more question- is there an area in Yerushalayim that fits my description?

Teomima

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 2:05 am

Like others have said, that sounds more Dati Leumi Torani etc to me than Chardal. In Yerushalayim I would suggest parts of Katamon, where you can find plenty of Anglos (look up Shir Chadash perhaps for an idea of the local community), or Har Choma, where I have a number of Anglo friends that match your description quite well.

amother

Slategray

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 2:45 am

amother wrote:

OP-
One more question- is there an area in Yerushalayim that fits my description?

Har Nof

amother

Magenta

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 4:26 am

amother wrote:

Mishkafayim is the new neighborhood of RBS-A being built that you are referring to. I just bought there. I have never had any trouble with anyone. The closest it comes is my discomfort with Mehadrin buses. But even then when I was having trouble paying (I needed my forgotten Rav Kav for a discount which the driver seemed intent on giving me), I was offered all kinds of help by the men, young and old, up front.
I know there are instances here and there and that there are unwritten discriminatory policies that are being fought as I type this. But I am happy, my kids are happy, my dh is happy.

sped

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 4:32 am

One more thing you need to consider is where you stand on teh Zionist issue.
For example, I have a friend who sounds somewhat similar to you, but is very much not Zionist hashkafically. I would say she is more "Modern Charedi".

etky

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 7:58 am

sped wrote:

Yes, I was thinking that too b/c some of the places that were suggested would not be appropriate if you are not hashkafically Zionist. Alon Shvut for example.

shabri

Wed, Sep 02 2015, 8:13 am

Also Nofei Hashemesh in Beit Shemesh might be a good fit

Page 1 of 1