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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
I pushed my 4 yr old- guilt eating me up



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amother
Beige


 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 2:54 am
Situation- 4 yr old had just finished watching a show on laptop and had eaten a lollipop. Time is 16.00. Im trying to make supper. She starts hitting 2.5 yr old for no reason. I tell her stop and she doesnt and continues and I continue cooking. She starts hitting me. I tell her stop she doesnt and I continue cooking. I KNOW I SHOULD STOP AND GIVE HER ATTENTION bcs Ive been in this situation before, but Im stressed out about getting things done and annoyed at her that shes misbhaving, therefore it keeps on like this back and forth, stress is building in my head and then I finally SNAP and slap her hard on the hand. She goes away crying, then comes back and continues hitting me. I try putting her in her room, she doesnt stay there. I try locking her in a different room to teach her a lesson (I KNOW this actually doesnt teach any lesson but I'm acting in the moment and just trying to keep her from hitting so I can finish cooking). Doesnt work she comes out and continues hitting. I try to multitask- cook while pysically keeping her away from me and 2.5 yr old. This goes on for a few minutes. Then I SNAP again, and push her down on the floor. She cries. Finally I just stop cooking and give her my full attention. I hold her, apologize and we talk. She then happily goes off to play.
Later she asked me- Ima why did you push me on the floor? I feel so bad...... why why why didnt I just drop everythng and give her attention from the start?? Last time this happened I vowed to be a better parent next time.
Pls tell me Im not the only one who has slapped/pushed their child out of anger....
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amother
Orange


 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 10:09 pm
Guilt about the way we parent our kids is the worst kind of guilt. And in your case it's justified. Let it be a learning moment. Think about what made things start to spin out of control. Think how u can avoid that in the future and how u can handle urself differently in those moments. Make this an experience u can grow from. Ur daughter is young and will hopefully forget
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rachelbg




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 10:13 pm
How frustrating.
When mine hits, I hold his hands for a few minutes. I tell him that if he can't use his hands nicely, he isn't allowed to use them at all. This frustrates him, and when I'm ready to let go I ask what he'll do once I let him go. It's effective most of the time. I do it with feet too when he kicks and kicks.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Wed, Sep 02 2015, 10:28 pm
Yes I've had many similar experiences and it really makes me feel bad. But I'm trying to make a big deal everytime that I don't react that way and that really helps.
Hoping that by focusing on my own good parenting behavior/reaction that I will reinforcement my own better behavior.
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