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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
Why is my 3 yr old like this since started new school?



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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 3:20 pm
My three year old was in a daycare until 4 last year and he loved it. Extremely socisl and independant and really thrived there. Was always a pleasure child so flexible and calm etc.
Two weeks ago he started preschool from 8 until 1, some of his old friends are with him but mostly new boys. Since thrn he has become really difficult. Doesnt listen to any instructions, very clingy, cranky whiny basically tries to rebel at everything he is told to do or not do. And frequently through each tantrum, he says I don't want to go to cheder...
I was also sick this past week and so he didn't have too much structure in the afternoons... Is that the issue or getting used to the change although its been two weeks already? Or is something wrong in the preschool that I should look into?
Oh and he slept a lot in the afternoons more than usual.
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Sara255




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 04 2015, 3:56 am
I would definitely check it out. Check into his school, his teacher, etc. Are you in Israel? If so, check out the safety of his school in regards to the issues here. Even if everything is OK and he's just having some adjustment issue, its good for you to check all these things out anyway.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Fri, Sep 04 2015, 4:24 am
If you're in/around Jerusalem, I'd look into it more. Try to see if anyone pulled out or kept home last year, and if so try to speak to them even if they moved back.
But even if your research comes up with nothing (and even if you don't live in Israel), spend a lot of one on one quality time with him so that he has a chance to speak to you if he needs to.
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5*Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 04 2015, 5:02 am
A few things to know for starters:

Your son is in a new environment with new teachers and mostly new children. Transitions and changes and new things can be very challenging for small children at first, and 3-yrs-old is VERY small, so this behavior *can* be very normal under the circumstances.

The transition from daycare to cheder is HUGE. The structure, the schedule, having a rebbe for the first time instead of a morah, the dynamic between rebbe and children are completely different and possibly difficult for a 3-yr-old.

I find that my kids at 3 exhibit similar changes in behavior, even the ones who were still home with me at that age. It *can* be an age-related thing.

What can you do?

I don't believe a child should ever be ignored or brushed off when they specifically say they don't want to go to school. It's important to figure out why and see what you can do about the situation.

I would work at developing a positive relationship with every teacher/rebbe/staff member, shmooze a little at dropoff and again at pickup, pop in from time to time to listen in and get a feel for who the staff is, how they interact with the children, what the atmosphere is like, and in general what goes on in cheder.

Is it chaotic? Is it too structured? Not enough play? Do they have to sit still for longer than 10-15 minutes at a time (which may still be difficult for many 3-yr-olds)? Is the teacher warm or distant? Can your son communicate his needs well? Does he feel comfortable enough with the teacher to do so? Is there an aggressive child/ren in the class?

You can try to find out the answers to these questions by talking to the staff and observing in school and you can also try playing with your son using mentchies or puppets to play "Cheder" and follow his lead. Asking direct questions of a 3-yr-old might not be as helpful or as accurate as creating opportunities for him to communicate spontaneously. Make sure you do not overreact to or look visibly upset by anything that your son may say, as that will likely shut down communication.
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