5 year old "punished" by teacher for being late

WhatFor

Wed, Sep 09 2015, 9:20 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

My son had put stickers around the frames of his glasses "BEFORE" class....just acting silly and walked around all day like that....this rebbe didnt say "take it off" ....just "give me your glasses" and not only that ...the only way we could get it back was by going to his HOUSE to pick it up!!!! And then we wonder why so many kids are messed up today.

luckysunshine

Wed, Sep 09 2015, 9:26 pm

My goodness..if that happened to my daughter she would be very, very upset. So sorry your daughter had to go through that - she didn't do anything wrong. It's not like an older child who walks to school and gets there late because he/she didn't get out of the house on time. A late slip? For a five year old? Wow.

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Sep 09 2015, 9:51 pm

Ok, I guess we can all chill now. I saw the morah and asked "did DD come late one day and get a late slip?" she thought for a minute and said "not that I know of." she added that she marks the kids absent if they aren't there by 8:30, (school starts at 8), and if they come after that she goes to the office to get a late slip so they won't be marked absent. I told her that DD said she got lost and came late and had to go with morah to get a slip.

The morah said she didn't think so. She does have two other teachers, but this morah is the one who does late slips.

So basicly DD made it up? I have no clue who she would make such a detailed story....

She is sleeping now, but I'll ask her in the morning.

Amarante

Wed, Sep 09 2015, 9:56 pm

My goodness - your poor DD. I just remember how vulnerable I felt when I was 5 and to be lost and then to be sent to the principal's office. I realize that children are being taught how to conduct themselves but really that lacks compassion in terms of treating a 5 year old who has just started school.

But words fail me as to why a teacher would take away glasses from a child in school as a punishment. It makes no sense since glasses are essential for the purpose the kid is in school for. And, in the scheme of things, are stickers on glasses so egregious? Perhaps I am missing something but in terms of behavior issues, it doesn't seem to be something that merits that kind of response - and then for what purpose to have the parents have to retrieve the glasses. Wouldn't a signed note suffice if the teacher wanted to make certain the parents were aware of the issue?

mummiedearest

Wed, Sep 09 2015, 10:11 pm

op, I would check with the office about the late slip. I would tend to believe your dd that she had to go to the office for something, I'm sure they can tell you what happened.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Sep 10 2015, 12:19 pm

She made it up!! I asked her today what happened and if I need to ask her morah, or if she made a story (we don't use the word lie). She said it was a story! She wouldn't say why she made it, or how she knew about late slips though.

I really didn't think she could have gotten lost in school. She knows to go to the gym and meet her morahs....

I didn't make a big deal out of it, I just said we need to tell the emes. But is this normal? For a 5 year old to make such a story? Its like she actually believed it happened.

5*Mom

Thu, Sep 10 2015, 1:11 pm

amother wrote:

I didn't make a big deal out of it, I just said we need to tell the emes. But is this normal? For a 5 year old to make such a story? Its like she actually believed it happened.

I'm glad you got that cleared up. This is totally age appropriate, though you obviously want to help her understand the boundaries of story-telling. We explain to our *creative* children that stories are fun and interesting but it's important to always tell the listener when you are telling a story, so that they don't worry or work hard to figure out a solution to a problem that is really just a story and they can take care of you when there really is a problem. Every now and then, when something seems a bit too unreal, I might ask, "Is this a story or did this really happen?" (My 5-yr-old likes it when I use the words "fantasy or reality?" Older siblings.)

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Sep 10 2015, 1:32 pm

Thanks. I had asked her a few times if it was a story, and she said no. She makes lots of stories, but this one had details that I didn't think she would know about unless it really happened.

Usually her stories start out with "one time at baubies house..." and they are things she wished happened... But this one really got me!

rosenbal

Thu, Sep 10 2015, 2:26 pm

I'm glad everything is fine! My 4.5 year old DS is just like that. Makes up stories all the time. At this point we were told not to worry about it. He's very creative and imaginitive on general. Never had this with my other kids. I try to never corner him so he'd be forced to lie....

Some of his stories and reconstructions of reality make me laugh but I do still get a bit nervous! I'll sometimes rephrase things for him "owe you wish that would happen" or "that's an interesting story!" Etc. I really think it's a certain type of personality....

animeme

Thu, Sep 10 2015, 2:44 pm

Your dd has a good imagination, and she might have been scared about this because she heard about it or saw it, a d wondered how it would be if it was her, and so she told this.

I had a dd who did this. In response, we started her writing an extended story. Every couple of days, we would sit down at the computer and she would dictate a story to me and I would type it. We used fun colors and sometimes changed fonts. Then I would print and she illustrated. This gave her the opportunity to get all her thoughts and fears out as stories. You can also do this by sitting down and playing with Menchies, or Barbies, or whatever you use.

tichellady

Thu, Sep 10 2015, 6:52 pm

My brother did this all the time. He had the most exciting stories that were still very believable. Today he is a very successful, smart and creative adult whose cool stories are actually true.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Sep 10 2015, 7:02 pm

DD totally did this too, for years! It drove me crazy. I got to the point that every time she came home with a story (that usually had a large grain of truth in the middle) I would have to ask her "And what would the school say if I called them?" At that point she would have to cave in and confess that she made it all up.

If I didn't challenge her, then she'd keep on insisting that she was telling the truth, and elaborate some more. I always got the feeling that she fully believed it herself, and would pass a lie detector with flying colors! Those were some very interesting years.

She's 12 now, her teachers tell me that her strongest subject is creative writing, and that she has a great future in writing young adult fiction. She could be the next J.K. Rowling for all we know. Very Happy