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Am I obligated



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laykee




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 21 2015, 7:13 am
Am I obligated, according to halacha, to tell someone that I do not forgive them unless I am asked for mechila?

A few months ago someone said something very hurtful to me in front a number of people (at a wedding). She usually says outlandish things and laughs it off. On this occasion I was and continue to be very hurt. Since this occurred, I have not been able to be friendly towards her but she either doesn't care or realize it is because I am upset.

I know it would be a 'nice' thing to forgive her, and maybe even an obligation on my part. I know all the touchy feely aspects of being forgiving so Hashem will forgive us. And, perhaps when YK rolls around I will forgive her. My question is: Do I have an Halachic OBLIGATION to let her know she hurt me and should ask me for forgiveness?
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justcallmeima




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 21 2015, 7:15 am
No. You may choose to do so, but there is certainly no moral or halachik "obligation" to do so.
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 21 2015, 7:24 am
No, but I just read in "Twerski on Machzor" a great line from Rabbi Dr Twerski. He said that while one is not obligated to forgive, if one does forgive anyway, hopefully Hashem will forgive us entirely, even for the sins for which we may not have done proper teshuvah.

I don't mean to preach though. Bottom line is, you are not obligated.
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5*Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 21 2015, 10:15 am
I disagree. You are obligated to tell someone when you are upset at them. It's the mitzva of "lo tisna et achicha b'levavcha hocheach tochiach et amitecha v'lo tisa alav cheit." This is completely separate from forgiveness.
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rzab




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 21 2015, 10:50 am
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ngjCmgUsfv0

This video might give you some perspective. Forgiving isn't really about the other person. It's about us
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