Caught kissing child on lips

amother

Green

Thu, Sep 24 2015, 1:59 pm

We live oot. My 3 year old daughter goes to school that has one jewish teacher and one non jewish teacher in the classroom.
My friend (whose son is in my daughters class) just called me to say she was kissing her baby multiple times this morning in bed and her 3 year old son said "that's what Morah G does every day to Leah."
My friend said "show me, what does morah g do?" Her son held the baby's face and began kissing the baby on the lips multiple times. (My friend had NOT been kissing her baby on the lips.) She asked him, "Does morah G do that to you?" He said, "sometimes, but she always does it to Leah"

I had told the jewish teacher that I was creeped out by this other teacher at the very beginning of the year and told her that I didn't allow this teacher to touch my child. A lot of good that did.
(The teacher always came across as creepy but I was told that she was being replaced as soon as someone else was found. )

Stupid me, sent my daughter to school for this.

I will not be sending her back until this teacher is out.
I have in the past kissed her on her lips a few time. (Is that weird? I am her mother... and she wasn't even three yet. Trust me, I won't ever be doing that again!) But then at one point she didn't like it and turned her face away, so I haven't done it since. Than 2 weeks ago, I'm sitting on the couch and she climbs onto my lap, holds my cheeks, and began kissing me on the lips multiple times. I was confused how she came to do that (My husband and I are private) but figured she remembered how I had kissed her months before. Later that day, she did it again. And the next day she did it again. At that point I told her "we kiss on cheeks, not on lips" And she did try again after that, but I didn't allow it and repeated the refrain

What in the world am I supposed to do now . Should I talk to her about it? If so what should I say? I don't think she felt abused.... and I don't want to create feelings of confusion for her.

SRS

Thu, Sep 24 2015, 5:34 pm

I think you should leave the school for your own sake. I don't think teachers should be kissing children.

But regarding kissing, just because a child has never seen kissing on the lips, doesn't mean that it isn't appealing to them. Little kids like giving and getting kisses. And different places have different appeal for different kids. Be careful not to overzexualize your child by insisting on only cheeks. Your kid might just be the type that likes lips, not because of exposure per se. I have one kid who would attack on the cheeks. I have another, that if offered a cheek, will insist on a lip, forehead, or nose.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Sep 24 2015, 7:49 pm

When DD was a baby, I would kiss her on the lips, cheek, forehead, or nose.

As much as I find other people's children to be yummy, adorable, and downright delicious, I would never, EVER kiss another person's child. If they wanted to be affectionate, they could give me a hug and a peck on my cheek.

Having that close bond with your own kids, within normal and healthy boundaries (and whatever your family tradition is comfortable with) is one thing. Trying to create that relationship with a child who is not your is intrusive at best, and a huge red flag at worst.

I'm not one to get paranoid, but I remember a time when DD (age 2) had gone with my ex to visit some relatives on ex's side of the family. When DD came home, she gave me a big wet kiss with tongue. shock

I gathered my composure, and said "Who kisses like that?" and she said "Uncle Steve" (ex's brother).

I put DD down to have a snack, and had a quick conference with my ex. We agreed that DD would never, EVER be out of ex's sight for a second, if he wanted to visit his family. Ex was every bit as horrified as I was, and I was grateful for his support, even against his own brother.

Even sadder, DD got oral herpes from that encounter, and now every time she gets ill or stressed she gets really painful cold sores. Sad