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Weaning + Sleep Training a 2+ yr old - Help!



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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 09 2015, 9:29 am
I am curious to hear your thoughts, methods, processes etc. for sleep-training/nightweaning a toddler. My 2.3 yr old has been basically sleeping in my bed and drinking from the All Night Open Bra and Breastaurant all night long. I really need him to sleep in his own bed, and I am more than ready to give up nursing at this age. I want to hear some ideas on how to go about it - what do I give him to substitute the comfort of co-sleeping and using me as a pacifier? How do I deal with the inevitable screaming all night long that will ensue at first? (Sending in my husband, or ignoring him, are not options. I'm sure my husband will go in once or twice, but this is really my job - he has been tearing himself apart at work and at home and gets up almost every night to our 7 yr old autistic child, so I can't expect him to give up a week of sleep because I fell into this habit. and I don't ignore a crying child, because a) he'll wake up the whole house, and b) he tries to climb out of the crib but is afraid to make contact with the floor and he stays dangling in the air so I have to go make sure he's not dangling from the crib).

So I'm open to hear ideas. thanks.
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amazingmommy




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 09 2015, 1:29 pm
Hugs!
First I teach him to sleep in his own bed and his own room. Then once he transitioned to that, you can start only doing nighttime feedings.
When he gets used to that, you can tell him there's no more milk, or it's broken. And stop by day.
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SRB




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 09 2015, 2:17 pm
Hugs to you! I don't have any advice but wil be following this discussion because I am in the same situation however my son is 20 months. I said I would stop co-sleeping at 3 months... HAHA - that has come and gone! And my son nurses several time day and night. There is a part of me that loves the bonding part of it and my son seems so happy but I know I would feel better with undisturbed sleep. Hatzlach to us both 😉
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sat, Oct 10 2015, 5:46 pm
amazingmommy wrote:
Hugs!
First I teach him to sleep in his own bed and his own room. Then once he transitioned to that, you can start only doing nighttime feedings.
When he gets used to that, you can tell him there's no more milk, or it's broken. And stop by day.

My friend just did that with her2 and a half year old...
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sheifelah




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 10 2015, 5:54 pm
I'm in the same boat as well. My two year old daughter also sleeps with me and enjoys the luxury of being able to nurse all night. I feel like I am ready to wean, but it seems she's very attached and I feel bad taking it away. plus, I really don't know how I'll get her to sleep without nursing. there are some nigh I transfer her to crib, but she doesn't sleep very long in there. I think in my bed I wake her when I roll over. sigh.

hatzlacha OP, I wish I had a suggestion!
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nyc123




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 10 2015, 7:07 pm
I recently had a similar situation with my 1.5 year old... I did it gradually because I wanted her to feel comfortable in her crib and know I wasn't abandoning her. But at the same time I didn't want to have to wake up in the middle of the night and go to her crib to nurse her (it was so "easy" when she was just in bed with me and took whenever she wanted). But it was affecting my sleep more than I realized and I felt it was time to make the switch.

I think it would help if you start a routine and then gradually switch from the bed to the crib. So for example, start a routine before bed where you read some books or sing a certain song, etc - you can start this while in your own bed. Then at least this will start to trigger nighttime/sleep instead of just nursing in bed. Also introduce some other object (pillow, blanket, lovey) that will be in bed with you guys. This can be a transition object when you move him into the crib- he will have something to comfort him that he has fallen asleep with before.

I would also try telling your toddler about his crib and that he's going to be going to sleep in his crib soon. Try telling a story about what's going to happen to mentally prepare him - once there was a boy who loved sleeping with his mommy - they went to sleep together every night- one day mommy said its time to sleep in your crib - etc.

I understand that you don't want to let your toddler cry it out - I'm with you on that. It sounds like your toddler has outgrown his crib though. If he can climb out of it, it's not safe anymore. I think it would be best to either turn his crib into a bed if it has that option, or buy JUST a mattress (get a comfortable one- it doesn't have to be hard like the crib mattresses at this age) and put it on the floor for now (that way you don't have to worry about him falling off). This will make things easier because you can sit with him in the bed or even lay down with him in the bed to fall asleep. You can do the routine, then nurse him in his bed and sit with him as he falls asleep. Explain to him while he's awake and through stories that you're going to go back to your room after he falls asleep. Then leave his room while he's sleeping. If he wakes up in the middle of the night to nurse, go in and read him the story from his bedtime routine or sing the song and sit on his bed. Comfort him. He might surprise you and stay asleep through the night from the beginning.

Just make sure to baby proof his room since he is not confined to the crib anymore.

Hope this helps!! Good luck!!
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