Mixed seating at a wedding

chaos

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 1:03 am

It is the couple's choice, but it is also the couple's responsibility to do their homework and pick a hall that will allow mixed seating if it is important to them.

saw50st8

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 7:29 am

cbg wrote:

Don't halls come with a caterer. So in reality it's the same thing

Some halls require a specific caterer. Many halls allow you to choose.

Ruchel

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 11:19 am

sourstix wrote:

no it has to do with the couple. what type are the couple? assuming the dancing is separate the meal will too. maybe I am wrong.

I shouldn't be shocked on Imamother, but yeah. SHOCKED. Dancing is halacha. Seating is not even the majority of shomer mitzvos.

I personally tend to just not attend separated unless I LOOOOVE the person. Hate seating among strangers.

I would never hire a caterer that pushes his culture on me, either.

Chayalle

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 1:48 pm

Ruchel wrote:

The dancing is usually right near the tables, so in situations of mixed seating, the ladies would be dancing and men could still be sitting at the tables watching. Some circles are not comfortable with that.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 2:26 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Not at all. AT least here in Israel, it is extremely popular, at dati leumi weddings to have mixed seating and then a section off to one side, with a full full mechitza, not able to see through it at all, where the women dance. no men can see through to the women. and then everyone is comfortable.

Chayalle

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 2:45 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

In the US, I have seen it to be the way I've described at every Jewish wedding I have ever been at, from Litivsh to Chassidish to MO. There could be other setups, like you explain in Israel, and that's fine. I was trying to explain to Ruchel why some might have a Halachic issue with it, that's all.

Ruchel

Wed, Oct 14 2015, 9:41 am

Chayalle wrote:

I've never seen that. If it's nearby there is a mechitza.

Frumdoc

Wed, Oct 14 2015, 12:26 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

My experience too.

Frumdoc

Wed, Oct 14 2015, 12:30 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Well, those individuals clearly don't find it a problem for men to view women dancing in that way. Although I would disagree that this is usual. The usual I see is the total mechitza, as per shabbat.

Frumdoc

Wed, Oct 14 2015, 12:32 pm

Chayalle wrote:

So chassidish and Litvish weddings with mixed seating also have men openly viewing women dancing?

Chayalle

Wed, Oct 14 2015, 1:52 pm

Frumdoc wrote:

So chassidish and Litvish weddings with mixed seating also have men openly viewing women dancing?

I've been at weddings where there is separate seating, officially, but they put a table or two of mixed seating at the ladies section, for guests who want it that way (family or coworkers). And yes, those men openly see women dancing. And not everyone is comfortable with it.

The Happy Wife

Wed, Oct 14 2015, 4:37 pm

Chayalle wrote:

If it's just one or two mixed tables, and you're going through the trouble of separating the dancing, why not put them on the men's side? Seems counterproductive.

Frumdoc

Wed, Oct 14 2015, 5:59 pm

Chayalle wrote:

So now you've learned that there are much better ways of doing it that don't make people uncomfortable. You can suggest it to the next hosts who you suspect may allow men and women to eat at the same table. BH for imamother.

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Oct 14 2015, 6:05 pm

The Happy Wife wrote:

If it's just one or two mixed tables, and you're going through the trouble of separating the dancing, why not put them on the men's side? Seems counterproductive.

Perhaps, some women sitting at the table may not be tzniusly dressed