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Going to Bais Hakvoros while menstruating



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amother
Denim


 

Post Wed, Oct 07 2015, 5:17 pm
Is it permissible to go to a Bais Hakvoros while menstruating? (just started I'm in the staining phase)
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 07 2015, 5:26 pm
I don't see why not. You're not going to make the mesim any more tamei than they already are, and they're not going to make you any more tamei than you already are. They won't be jealous of you and harm your unborn child since you are obviously not carrying an unborn child. In any event, the practice of keeping pregnant women out of cemeteries is not a halacha but one of many many quaint superstitious customs our people have acquired over the millennia.
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Wed, Oct 07 2015, 6:43 pm
My DH's family minhag is that pregnant women do go to bais hakvoros but do not go when menstruating, unless there is a need or purpose (which is mostly why people go).
For example we had a situation were we wanted to daven by a kever when someone in the family was having surgery and one of the women was told that she could go even though menstruating because it was for a specific purpose.
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Smile1234




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 08 2015, 7:13 am
it is brought down in the last pischei tshuva in siman kuf tzadik hey, he quotes a chamudei daniel that says that women may not go to cemetary when they are niddah. This is how we pasken, but we take it to mean only when they are actually bleeding.

Pregnancy has nothing to do with this...
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ahuva06




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 08 2015, 7:15 am
I also grew up knowing that menstruating and pregnant woman don't go to cemeteries but I don't know the source.
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HonesttoGod




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 08 2015, 10:54 am
As a girl we went on a trip and one stop was a bais kvaros of an important rabbi. One girl decided to tell everyone who has their period cannot go.
I promptly called my father (a rav) who said that he has heard of it but many people do not hold by it and he personally does not see the reasoning as to why this would be a problem.

Ask your rav.
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 08 2015, 11:07 am
Smile1234 wrote:
it is brought down in the last pischei tshuva in siman kuf tzadik hey, he quotes a chamudei daniel that says that women may not go to cemetary when they are niddah. This is how we pasken, but we take it to mean only when they are actually bleeding.

Pregnancy has nothing to do with this...

1) That's Yoreh Deah kuf tzadi heh.

2) By "we" do you mean your family, your community or every Torah-observant Jew?

3) The Pitchei Teshuva does not mention the detail you do that it only means while actually bleeding. What is your source for that? The P.T. says " כתוב בספר חמודי דניאל שנהגו הנשים שלא לילך לבית החיים בימי נדתה ונכון הוא" (found here http://www.edup.co.il/mod/page.....d=441)
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Merrymom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 08 2015, 11:26 am
In kabbalah it says death chases after women who are tamei (who are of menstruating AGE) if they go to the bais hakevarim. I am paraphrasing but I can get the exact quote if you would like.

Concerning the matter of women visiting the cemetery, this is even forbidden
by the Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De’ah, chap. 359. See there the
words of the Shach). It is surprising that the most Orthodox Jewish
women, machmiros in nearly all other matters, ignore this open and clear
prohibition (from hakirah.org)
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The Happy Wife




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 08 2015, 12:39 pm
Merrymom wrote:


Concerning the matter of women visiting the cemetery, this is even forbidden
by the Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De’ah, chap. 359. See there the
words of the Shach). It is surprising that the most Orthodox Jewish
women, machmiros in nearly all other matters, ignore this open and clear
prohibition (from hakirah.org)


They're not ignoring it. Not everyone holds that it's prohibited.
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HelloG




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 08 2015, 2:15 pm
My rav said not to go close to the kever
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Smile1234




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 08 2015, 2:37 pm
imasoftov wrote:
1) That's Yoreh Deah kuf tzadi heh.

2) By "we" do you mean your family, your community or every Torah-observant Jew?

3) The Pitchei Teshuva does not mention the detail you do that it only means while actually bleeding. What is your source for that? The P.T. says " כתוב בספר חמודי דניאל שנהגו הנשים שלא לילך לבית החיים בימי נדתה ונכון הוא" (found here http://www.edup.co.il/mod/page.....d=441)


1 - correct, that's what I said

2 - Every regular torah jew who follows the pischei teshuva (which is ashkenazim, I dont know about sfardim but I believe they also follow this as well)

3 - My rabbi. And usually when shulchan aruch speaks about yemei nidasa it is referring to the days she is actually bleeding.
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Smile1234




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 08 2015, 2:37 pm
The Happy Wife wrote:
They're not ignoring it. Not everyone holds that it's prohibited.


Just curious- do you know who hold that it is permitted?
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 09 2015, 3:46 am
Smile1234 wrote:
1 - correct, that's what I said

2 - Every regular torah jew who follows the pischei teshuva (which is ashkenazim, I dont know about sfardim but I believe they also follow this as well)

3 - My rabbi. And usually when shulchan aruch speaks about yemei nidasa it is referring to the days she is actually bleeding.

1. I don't want to start a fight about this, but did you say Yoreh Deah in your previous post?

2. In this post, did you mean "everyone who follows this PT" or "every regular torah Jew (at least Ashkenazim) is obligated to follow this because the PT brings it down"?
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 09 2015, 5:22 am
Merrymom wrote:
In kabbalah it says death chases after women who are tamei (who are of menstruating AGE) if they go to the bais hakevarim. I am paraphrasing but I can get the exact quote if you would like.

Concerning the matter of women visiting the cemetery, this is even forbidden
by the Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh De’ah, chap. 359. See there the
words of the Shach). It is surprising that the most Orthodox Jewish
women, machmiros in nearly all other matters, ignore this open and clear
prohibition (from hakirah.org)

I read the article at http://www.hakirah.org/Vol15Zuriel.pdf
I think the author may have overstated his case. The article as a whole aims to discourage both men and women from visiting cemeteries so I understand why he would like this source to take care of half of his audience at once, I'm just not sure he's succeeded.

The Shulchan Aruch there is talking about women (whether or not they are niddot) following the deceased to burial, says "it is proper to prevent" rather than "it is forbidden" and the Shach does not offer any clarification beyond "if they go, they cause evil in the world, chas veshalom".

It's not clear to me that this forbids women from attending funerals if they're not doing so in a procession (it seems to be about a ceremony that I haven't seen), or going to cemeteries at other times.
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Merrymom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2015, 11:19 am
imasoftov wrote:
I read the article at http://www.hakirah.org/Vol15Zuriel.pdf
I think the author may have overstated his case. The article as a whole aims to discourage both men and women from visiting cemeteries so I understand why he would like this source to take care of half of his audience at once, I'm just not sure he's succeeded.

The Shulchan Aruch there is talking about women (whether or not they are niddot) following the deceased to burial, says "it is proper to prevent" rather than "it is forbidden" and the Shach does not offer any clarification beyond "if they go, they cause evil in the world, chas veshalom".

It's not clear to me that this forbids women from attending funerals if they're not doing so in a procession (it seems to be about a ceremony that I haven't seen), or going to cemeteries at other times.


My Rav says not to go, I only found this as a source by doing a google search, so I am not debating this particular article, but rather the entire premise, to go or not to go. Especially women who hold from kabbalah in their daily lives (I.e. covering their hair completely since kabbalah says this thing about klipah, why hold from this but ignore other things that it says in kabbalah?), it certainly does seem that this is being ignored.
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 13 2015, 6:29 pm
Merrymom wrote:
My Rav says not to go, I only found this as a source by doing a google search, so I am not debating this particular article, but rather the entire premise, to go or not to go. Especially women who hold from kabbalah in their daily lives (I.e. covering their hair completely since kabbalah says this thing about klipah, why hold from this but ignore other things that it says in kabbalah?), it certainly does seem that this is being ignored.

If you (or your Rav) feels that kabbalah is a reason for those who follow it to not go, let's discuss the source for that instead of this article.
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