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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Psychologist wants to parent us..



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amother
Indigo


 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 3:51 pm
5 yr old DD has spd, selective mutism, and I would venture to say on the border of having odd.

She was evaluated by a psychologist who said she should be getting play therapy with a different psychologist who specializes in S.M and anxiety.

We waited months for the appointment.
Today we finally met. She spent 5 minutes asking DD questions. DD was clearly not comfortable. Whispered her one word answers and squirmed in her chair, but her lips etc.

After the t minutes, she sent DD out to play in a different room and spoke with me.

She said that she would rather meet with me and dh to teach us how to patent her, rather then meet with dd.

Now, I know full well that I'm not the mother of the year, and we could use some guidance to learn about our challenging child. But this woman clearly does not know dd from the 5 minutes they spent together, and I really think play therapy would be best for her. I did mention this, but the psychologist wasn't interested. She's not jewish and has no clue about our cultural It sure fferences and our approach to chinuch. She kept saying modern parenting this and modern parenting that, which isn't at all how we raise our kids.

The initial psychologist asked us our backgrounds and our approach to parenting and was certain we were doing the right things for our daughter. She said that most ppl need parenting sessions, but was sure we didn't. Btw I studied child psych, and work in special ed. and dh is a social worker.

Any insights?
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 3:53 pm
I don't think you need insight, you just need a new psychologist.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 4:37 pm
I would think that unless the woman said something SUPER highly inappropriate (not just "there is a theory that") I would give it another session or two. Finding a psychologist is a shidduch but you need to go into it with a more open mind. You are asking for help for a reason. I do play therapy, but also in conjunction with parenting- no matter their background. You are asking for help. Your daughter is suffering. Try it! But I would push for the therapist to see your daughter as well. Attack from both sides if you will.

One 45 minute once or twice a week can only do so much. Helping the parent with the other 23 hours+6 days is where I feel the magic happens.

Anon because I work in the field...
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 4:40 pm
I'm torn.

On the one hand, I think that you should trust your feelings, and if you feel like this woman did not get your DD and your family, she may not be the right match.

On the other hand, there is substantial evidence that THE most effective form of helping a child comes in working with the parents. Whatever the therapist can do with your DD in one hour a week pales in comparison to what your influence has on her life, you and your DH as well.

I think that more and more child therapists are putting parent training on the list of important ways to help their clients, and personally, I think it's a great thing.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 6:31 pm
So, I really don't mind the parenting sessions, but I just wish she would see dd as well. She needs to learn self regulation skills, and to cope with her anxiety.
When I try to help dd with this, she explodes at me or melts down. (I mentioned this to the psychologist). We had this with OT. I would suggest something that the OT said, and dd absolutely refused to do it, even if it was something she normally loves, like using our Ikea swing in the basement.

Also, my insurance is very limited on who we can see, so I'm afraid I cant really switch.

We only get approved for limited sessions as it is.
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anonymrs




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 7:21 pm
If your daughter was diagnosed with selective mutism, I'm concerned that the psychologist put her on the spot by directing questions at her. That's usually not recommended for SM.
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