Make sure your dc don't say ****

chaylizi

Wed, May 26 2010, 6:18 pm

MommyZ wrote:

WriterMom wrote:

My oldest pronounced "truck," well, you can imagine how, for several months. And he adored them, as well as all other vehicles. So we'd be taking a walk and out of the stroller would come "F***! Mummy, f***!"

When my DD was about 1 1/2 years old she tried to say "fork" and it came out as "f***".

ha! so did my dd. every time she said 'fork' or 'shirt', we wished there was somewhere to hide ourselves.

amother

Coffee

Wed, May 26 2010, 6:47 pm

No kids yet, but I do have some siblings who are young enough to be my kids (my parents are divorced and remarried. Ok, my mom's other kids aren't young enough, but my dad's are...)

My parents have always been potty mouths (and I probably picked up a good deal of choice vocab during the divorce) so when I first met DH, I was also a potty mouth. He got me to stop. Anyway, my dad knew it was time to start being careful when his now 3 y/o was 18 months and learning to talk. You know how they are at that age, they learn a new word and keep repeating until they learn another new word... That was fun, trying to redirect the little guy from s*** to egads!

Last edited by amother on Thu, Nov 05 2015, 1:41 pm; edited 1 time in total

Sparkle

Wed, May 26 2010, 9:36 pm

The world is the way the world is - you're not going to change it. Both my boys (ages 6 and 4) knows the "F word" as it's called in my house. They learned it in school; neither my husband nor I would ever use language like that.
The first time we heard either of them use it, my husband calmly explained that it's a bad word that makes their mouths dirty just like aveiros make our neshamos dirty. He said he knows they don't know what it means but it's his (my DH's) job to help them learn that it's completely not OK for them to say that word and there would be a severe consequence (which I don't want to write here without people knowing what a kind, gentle father my husband is). Both boys tried using the word once - my husband swiftly disciplined - and we've never heard it since.
I don't see any point in ranting and raving about what the world, other parents, teachers, neighbors are doing that could affect our kids. The world is a crazy place. Other people (and dare I say even sometimes ourselves) make mistakes, expose kids - and ourselves - to things that are less than ideal...we should use these situations as a chance to teach our kids. That's going to get them a lot farther in life than always shielding them - and wringing your hands in despair when you don't succeed! R' Moshe Eiseman wrote a fantastic book on chinuch that touches on this issue - I forget the title - something with the word penguins (don't ask - not sure of the connection, but it is a wonderful book).

Merrymom

Thu, May 27 2010, 12:08 am

My kids aren't even allowed to say shut up. When they don't recognize a word including curse words they come to me and ask what it means. I tell them what it means and then explain that it is a terrible, terrible word and that they may never use it and explain the whole Jewish concept of the same mouth that prays to Hashem and learns Torah should never be contaminated with bad language.

Ruchel

Thu, May 27 2010, 12:12 am

WriterMom wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

Now, culturally speaking, among adults even in frum circles, a sh*t or worse is really no big deal most of the time.

That has NOT been my experience. I've never been the guilty party, but I've seen frum adults react with horror to (comparatively) mild cursing.

But we didn't grow up in the same country at all? Or did I miss it?

Insults and mean words are very different from stam non polite words. Kids need an outlet. If you don't want explosions, or acting or talking crazy behind your back where you can't keep it in check and discuss stuff, or huge resentment, or c'v the outlet being about religion or school behaviour etc... I say you need to allow some "transgressive" behaviour (without making it totally fine either, or they may need something else Wink

Tablepoetry

Thu, May 27 2010, 2:34 am

Ruchel wrote:

WriterMom wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

Now, culturally speaking, among adults even in frum circles, a sh*t or worse is really no big deal most of the time.

That has NOT been my experience. I've never been the guilty party, but I've seen frum adults react with horror to (comparatively) mild cursing.

I guess it is cultural. I've never experienced it as OK to use foul language - neither in the secular circles I hang out with, or in the religious ones. Where I come from, it's considered low class to say the worst words. Playful euphemisms are ok for adults to use, but f-ck, etc? No way. Nothing that would be said in a family context, anyway - I'm sure teens on their own allow themselves more leeway.

A sidenote: in Israel, sh-t is not really considered a swear word. Half the people don't even know what it means, and it's often used just like 'darn'.

yo'ma

Thu, May 27 2010, 7:29 am

Tablepoetry wrote:

A sidenote: in Israel, sh-t is not really considered a swear word. Half the people don't even know what it means, and it's often used just like 'darn'.

I don't even say that and I wouldn't want my kids saying it either. What about jerk? My sis says it and I tell her to please refrain from saying it around my kids. I don't know if it's so much considered a curse word, but it's really not nice. I do say stupid and dumb, though.

Tablepoetry

Thu, May 27 2010, 9:37 am

yo'ma wrote:

Tablepoetry wrote:

A sidenote: in Israel, sh-t is not really considered a swear word. Half the people don't even know what it means, and it's often used just like 'darn'.

I don't say it either, nor does anyone in my family. I'm just saying that in many circles in Israel it's not considered a swear word.

Cookie Monster

Thu, Nov 05 2015, 2:03 pm

4kids4 wrote:

Replacing curse words with made up words is almost as bad. its still serves as the same purpose for arguments sake. It teaches kids to curse regardless of what the curse is.

Welcome to Imamother. When replying to a post it is a good idea to check the date of the original post. In this case, this thread is over 5 years old.

Fox

Thu, Nov 05 2015, 2:07 pm

Old thread, but it made me laugh!

If you aren't offended by the same-gender family references, look up Wanda Sykes's appearance on "Ellen" where she describes her family's visit to the Long Beach Aquarium, where her French-speaking children were delighted to see "les phoques."

Miri7

Thu, Nov 05 2015, 2:13 pm

We used to live in a town where the only school was a community school. Families were, by and large, not frum. There were just a couple of us there.

We then moved to another town where there were more options and put the kids in the local orthodox school, with frum families. I was shocked at the vocabulary my children come home with from that school! Yikes! Now I fear that my children have passed these choice words along to others.....not what I expected my kids to learn at the frum school. I really expected the children to be more sheltered than in the old school and was surprised to find the opposite to be true.