What do we expect of Jewish gay people?

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Nov 05 2015, 10:48 pm

Just thinking about this. I know this is a constant issue amongst even the Modern Orthodox groups and is talked about a lot but... This whole gay marriage/partner thing. There must be a solution, no? I don't mean a solution to them being gay because I don't think that is possible. I am wondering what the solution to them feeling like they don't belong in an Orthodox environment and thereby leaving, could be. Do the Orthodox Rabbis think it's better to have the gay community leave Orthodoxy rather than have gay members in their shul and community? I am not pretending that I am not prejudiced at all though. I would definitely feel weird with a gay couple in my shul/school/community but I feel very guilty about that. I know it must be so hard for them and they feel like they can't be openly gay and Orthodox just because everyone is so anti.
I understand it is against halacha 100% but what are they supposed to do? Does G-d want them in loveless marriages or to remain celibate their whole lives?
I just feel so bad on the one hand but on the other hand I know it is against the Torah. I've wondered sometimes if Hashem put this sin in the Torah specifically so harshly just to test us and see how we'd treat those people.
Just thought I'd put this conversation out there and see if anyone has also thought about this in this way.

groovy1224

Thu, Nov 05 2015, 11:09 pm

I think most people have thought of this question, since we're reaching a time when many of us know at least one someone who is openly gay.

Like causemommysaid wrote, halachically, there's really nothing to do. You can't act on it, and yet it's not your fault that you have the desire to. I can't imagine how that must be, and how or if I'd remain committed to a religion and way of life that was so out of reach for me. It means never being intimate, never growing old with someone, never having children..all because the Torah told me that the way I was wired at birth is wrong.

But I guess it's the same way with a mamzer- an innocent person doomed to loneliness because of something they didn't cause, and cannot change.

I don't know why hashem gave such struggles. I don't know what could possibly be expected of these people. I only know what my job might be in regards to them, and that is to show compassion and acceptance even if they've gone down a path I morally disagree with. And to extend such sympathy to all those whom I might judge or look down on for choices they've made.