Any full time working mothers who DO manage?

amother

White

Wed, Nov 11 2015, 8:35 am

All the above plus: hang out with other full time working mothers NOT your sisters and friends who are home all day because despite all that they say, stay at home moms DO have more time and they're great at making you feel like you're not managing... Same goes for those who work part time (thinking of my SIL who's works like 3 hours/day and talks about "how to make it work" as a working mother. Rolling Eyes

)

amother

Navy

Wed, Nov 11 2015, 8:42 am

Define working full time.

I used to work till later...now I have to get my son at 3 do I cut my hours but I till have no time to my self...etc.

I do all lunches and snacks at night and pack in briefcase in morning. I cook a lot at a time and always have soup for them when we get home until supper Is ready.

I have 3 hours of cleaning help on friday.

Dh does all other cleaning and laundry...

pesek zman

Wed, Nov 11 2015, 8:53 am

amother wrote:

I believe full time to mean 5 days/week, 8 hours a day

amother

White

Wed, Nov 11 2015, 9:01 am

pesek zman wrote:

I believe full time to mean 5 days/week, 8 hours a day

Or more. I used to work in a major firm in the city. Between the commute and late hours - I left my house at 7:30 in the morning and came home at 6:30 on a good day (not including any personal stops.) Now I changed firms to something more local and low key so I now leave at 8:30 and come home at 6:00 and my life has gotten so much less stressful! So even full time can have many different definitions.

pesek zman

Wed, Nov 11 2015, 9:03 am

amother wrote:

You at completely right. I meant, at minimum, not including commute.

eschaya

Wed, Nov 11 2015, 9:22 am

Full time can also mean 3 12 hour shifts (just saying...).
Paper goods, foil pans, lots of disposables.
I make the kids' lunches while they do their homework. I am nearby to help and listen to kriyah and chumash, but can get that out of the way without budgeting extra time.
Easy dinners. Vegi, protein, starch, all made in disposable foils. Every 2 months or so I spend 1 day making meatballs, lasagna, soups, etc and then freezing it in my spare freezer so oftentimes the bulk of the meal just needs to be defrosted the night before. I also keep in stock prepared soups (trader Joe's has some good ones) and frozen food items (blintzes, patties, pizza bagels, fish sticks) so that I can have an extra addition to the meal in only 10 minutes.
I do laundry almost every day so that it never builds up.
Cleaning help for 4 hours a week. She folds the above mentioned laundry and does the bathrooms.
Clorox wipes for emergency cleaning.
Dh does most of my grocery shopping. He also helps with dishes, bathing kids.
Costco so that we don't run out of bulk items.
And like everyone has mentioned, well, my house is not immaculate. So what.
I don't iron. I don't even own an iron. Dhs shirts are wrinkle free, and I avoid buying very delicate items. Dry cleaners when necessary.
Shabbos is simple and healthy. No need to spend an hour making a broccoli kugel when steamed broccoli is quicker, healthier and tastier! Rice, roasted precut butternut squash, roast chicken over potatoes, fresh steamed vegis, baked salmon fillet... sometimes I can make the whole shabbos (with guests ) in less than an hour (other than challah, which I make when I have the time only ).
Kids each have erev shabbos chores that really help ! (Vaccuuming, tearing toilet paper, preparing candles, setting the table, taking turns watching the youngest). Is each job done to the level I would do it? Of course not, but I accept the slightly skewed table settings and haphazard array of toilet paper strips, especially because I feel it's important for them to help out.

Not much time to relax and take care of myself, and I'm chronically tired from working nights but it's possible. If the kids are healthy and happy then consider yourself managing.

HonesttoGod

Wed, Nov 11 2015, 11:57 am

pesek zman wrote:

I believe full time to mean 5 days/week, 8 hours a day

I leave my house at 845/9 (depending how late I am) and come home anytime between 6 and 645. I have to pick up my kids on the way home and we all come home tired hungry and cranky together. Fridays I finish any time between 1 and 3 (plus the half hour drive home).
My dh doesn't get home till later usually 645/7 sometimes 730. And he leaves at 730 in the morning so no help in that part.
The evenings are the hardest part of my day. Once my kids are asleep though my dh helps clean up and finish up.

ps: It also depends how many kids you have and what ages. Someone with 1 young baby is going to have it a whole lot easier than someone with 3 toddlers/preschoolers.

amother

Puce

Wed, Nov 11 2015, 12:14 pm

Dear mother, what is managing?
I work full time, but my top priority is my children's happinness.
The mornings are hectic, but those can be organized the evening before (when the kids already sleeping).
When I come home I only focus on my kids.
It's hard not to see the mess, the laundry, etc; and get discouraged, but I give my kids the feeling that they're number 1 and I never ever ( as a rule) am in a bad mood because of the state of the house (and believe me, usually the mess is B-I-G)
I made this rule for myself and I know it's very important, but not easy...
I clean up at night and have cleaning help twice a week.

Miri7

Wed, Nov 11 2015, 1:02 pm

One more thing that really helps me is to have a block of time on Sunday once in a while to organize the house. DH will take the kids out for 4-5 hours while I do all the tasks I can't get to during the regular week. Those small or large organization projects that just fall by the wayside. Lots of sorting though too small clothes, packing things up to store or donate, and going through random things that we collect or need to be filed away. I'm a better faster organizer so I do this rather than DH. .