Help - 8 yr old picky eater and shriveling...

amother

Blue

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 3:36 pm

My 8 year old does not like to eat. His rebbe called me saying that every day at 12ish he complains about a headache and we should check him out. Turns out - he complains about a headache because he hasn't eaten a thing. He says he doesn't like anything from the cheders breakfast or lunch. For now I'm sending his cereal and he's eating that with milk for both, breakfast and lunch every day.

Now, he comes home at 6 - starved. I always have a hot meal waiting for him but he refuses to touch his dinner. He likes only ONE kind of cutlet and that's it. Side dishes he likes only plain noodles. He has no problem eating every spicy snack or candy. I'm going crazy Cuz I want him to develop healthy eating habits and a positive association with food. We compromised that we will try 2 bites of different chicken/meat that I serve every day, but by the time he finally sums up the courage to eat those two bites the plate is cold and probably awful tasting. If I run to rewarm it he again becomes antsy and is ready to eat it when it's cold.

Anyone ever had this as a child? How do I proceed? I can't give him the same chicken every day. I can't force him to eat. I can't punish him with no snacks Cuz he will squirrel away some snacks when I don't see. I can't let him starve either.

Help!!
Thanks!

underthestars

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 4:07 pm

First,

It must be difficult and frustrating. While I can't say I have experience this, because I was the one where people sent their kids to to eat because I had healthy eaters, and when kids saw my kids eat, their kids would eat, I would ask you this...why can't you just serve your son what he likes for now? If it is reasonably healthy and not difficult for you to make, let him eat what he likes, and maybe as time goes on, he will begin to develop other tastes?? I know my daughter when she was younger ate for lunch every single day a bagel with cream cheese for lunch over a period of years, day in and day out, but that was what she wanted. Eventually, as she got older, she learned to develop other tastes from friends and siblings, but I let her eat what she wanted for that time period. I don't think you should worry about him developing bad eating habits, as long as he is eating what he likes and isn't pressured or traumatized regarding food. A healthy relationship with food is important, so let him enjoy the same food day in and day out as long as he likes it and you can prepare it w/o making your life too difficult. Eventually he will learn about the other foods out there and will change, in his own time

morah

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 4:19 pm

I have a brother with A SD and he was like this. Had a very short list of acceptable foods AND unlike a typical child who will eventually give in, would starve for days on end if he didn't find something acceptable to eat. He is almost 16 now and is still picky but in a normal way, and that is thanks to a lot therapeutic intervention.
I obviously can't diagnose your kid over the Internet (or in real life, as I'm not a doctor), but what jumps out to me is the fact that he is starving himself rather than eat something he doesn't want to eat. A typical picky eater who just wants to make power struggles will go to bed hungry, but will NOT starve in school day after day and then continue to starve at home. Something is going on. He could have a sensory or other neurological issue, or be suffering anxiety or some other mental health issue. I would get a psychological evaluation and probably OT evaluation ASAP. This really screams professional intervention to me. Whatever is bothering him is clearly worse than hunger in his mind, so you need to figure out what it is. In the mean time, just make him his favorite schnitzel. It has decent nutrition in it and is better than candy. Hatzlacha, and stay strong. He'll be alright, you just might need to go a little beyond the conventional parenting handbook.