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Forum -> Children's Health
Need Chizuk- My Toddler Got Burned



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amother
Brown


 

Post Wed, Nov 25 2015, 4:17 am
My toddler got a deep second degree burn this Shabbos. B"H we did not have to take him to the hospital even though we did need to call an ambulance. He is doing great- he is not in pain and aside from needed extra cuddles is acting normal. He is very scared when we change his bandage though it doesn't seem to hurt him.(except for when we actually put the cream on) Even though he is so little he seems to be disgusted by his wound.
But I am still traumatized. I am spaced out and distracted, and get very nervous about changing his bandage.
It was very scary and dramatic but Baruch Hashem turned out a lot better than it could have.
But I need to do something to help myself calm down internally and I am not sure what.
Any suggestions?
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manhattanmom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 25 2015, 7:19 am
Your feelings will pass eventually. At least they won't be so strong and paralyzing. When my son was 11 months old he also got burned in my direct watch. He was hospitalized for a full 2 weeks, remaining in a burn center. Although he was happy and playful except for during the burn care, I was a mess emotionally. I still think about it now, 6 years later although not as much as I used to. Nothing worse than holding your child down during in-hospital burn care, two full weeks, twice a day. Sad
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esther09




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 25 2015, 7:27 am
Totally normal to have, and I'm sorry to use this term lightly, but PTSD about this. It was something that was scary for you, ANYTIME a toddler needs medical attention it's scary. Thank Gd it seems s/he will be ok. Give yourself a break about spacing out etc. remember that you're allowed to have an emotional reaction to a traumatic situation, no matter the outcome, and it shall pass.

One thing I'd recommend is that your toddler is probably mimicking your reaction about the wound. What is probably worry, sadness, sympathy, etc on your part, may be coming off as disgust and fear. Maybe try to reframe, out loud, verbally as you rebandage. "Mommy is taking this off your boo boo, putting on this special cream to make you allll better, we're going to take good care of you and you'll be good as new really soon!" It might help change your mindset and normalize this unfamiliar situation to your toddler.
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francine




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 25 2015, 8:25 am
Thanks for understanding!
I am so grateful that we didn't end up in the hospital- I do not know how you handled two weeks of inpatient burn care. B"H Hashem spared me.
It's good to be able to admit that it is scary. Reading your posts made me feel very validated-and made me feel like crying. (Which I didn't- but probably should have).
In real life it is so mcuh harder to admit that you are going though something emotionally. People ask me how is my baby and I say "amazing."
But they don't ask how I am doing.
(I guess the answer would depend on who asked!
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manhattanmom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 25 2015, 11:20 am
francine wrote:
Thanks for understanding!
I am so grateful that we didn't end up in the hospital- I do not know how you handled two weeks of inpatient burn care. B"H Hashem spared me.
It's good to be able to admit that it is scary. Reading your posts made me feel very validated-and made me feel like crying. (Which I didn't- but probably should have).
In real life it is so mcuh harder to admit that you are going though something emotionally. People ask me how is my baby and I say "amazing."
But they don't ask how I am doing.
(I guess the answer would depend on who asked!


I think people always ask how the patient is doing....it was ironic because a few years later same child was hospitalized again (due to an illness that was totally out of anyone's control) and while it was traumatic in its own way and I stayed with him the whole time as well (it was over a yom tov and he was admitted literally with candle-lighting time as an emergency) I don't get upset (internally) talking about it....because it was an autoimmune disease--nothing could have prevented it. Of course, my son was older and remembers that hospitalization....but he doesn't remember his burn.
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amother4




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 25 2015, 5:06 pm
I recognize this feeling and it's so hard.

For me personally, I found that following high stress events, I write down my feelings on paper and that relieves my stress to a great extent.
I also noticed that when using the trauma as a stepping stone -such as davening that it (the trauma) should be a kapparah for myself, my family and all of klal yisroel to be protected from harm or as a zchus to be granted a yeshuah in a specific area - it has really helped me put things in perspective and has helped my tension dissipate.

I hope you find what works best for you.
Hatzalacha overcoming this.
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