Big bar Mitzva kiddish- making every guest feel appreciated!

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Taupe

Wed, Dec 16 2015, 9:22 am

I am an introvert, sons bar Mitzva coming up. A lot of people expected at the kiddish, meals only for family.
Not my thing to be center of attention, my main concern is how do I give each guest attention while being able to get to everyone? The kiddish will be the only opportunity for friends and community members to wish mazel tov.
Posted in etiquette section because I'm curious how people handle speaking to one person when other people are waiting. Is it polite for the baalas simcha to politely end the conversation so other people can wish mazel tov, or wait for the well- wisher to end it?

Wed, Dec 16 2015, 9:43 am

I think kiddish guests understand that a quick "mazal tov" is in order. The conversations won't be long.

amother

Taupe

Wed, Dec 16 2015, 9:50 am

I hope so! I live out of town and it seems that pple don't always get that!!
Thank you for your response!

amother

Burlywood

Wed, Dec 16 2015, 10:07 am

Mazal tov on your simcha.
I am also an introvert and lived out of town for many of our family simchas.
Try to find a space in your head to be an actress. Act like you wish you could be.
I'm sure you are already gracious, welcoming and appreciative. Be like a kalla at her badeken.
Smiley but not getting into anything too deep. It is a noble objective to try to make every guest feel appreciated. Many will seek you out to extend good wishes. Make eye contact with those who come over to you but also keep looking around and moving around to have a sense of what's happening in the big picture.

animeme

Wed, Dec 16 2015, 10:16 am

I agree that short conversation is the norm. But don't be afraid to spend a few extra minutes with someone meaningful, even.of people are waiting.

amother

Taupe

Wed, Dec 16 2015, 11:02 am

Thanks for that advice amother above!
I will have to find the balance between giving each person undivided attention even if just a few seconds, and being on top of what is going on in the big picture. You put into words exactly what I need to do. Hope I find that balance - we can only try our best!
And yes anemone (did I spell that right!) thank you for reminding me not to feel pressure to move on to the next person even if people are waiting, if I feel like spending a few more minutes with an individual.
There are times when I make an effort to go to a simcha and I feel like the baalas simcha is looking around while talking to me. I don't want anyone to feel that way! Most times though person making the simcha is truly happy to see you!

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