13 yr old went to 86th Street by herself

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Thu, May 17 2007, 9:54 am

My 13 yr old went from the fifties in BP to 86th street by herself, by scooter. Going with the scooter, by itself scares us. She said she was going to the library and told us afterwards this was not the first time. She likes the clothing and chotchka stores there.

All my older female teenage relatives would never go that distance by themselves because they'd be scared. Especially by scooter. She has no fear.

DH says if we take away her scooter, she'll find another way to go. Can we ground her permanently? Can we enforce a rule that she is never allowed to be anywhere for longer than an hour?

Do we punish her for telling us the truth?

amother

Thu, May 17 2007, 10:49 am

tell her u appreciate that she told the truth but u dont want her going there alone and maybe she can go with someone else

greenfire

Fri, May 18 2007, 5:27 am

oh please ... people need a little freedom ... and what on earth are you scared of ... tell her to at least take a friend ... I know people who are afraid to walk down the block simply because their parents put that fear into them ... I was never afraid to go anywhere ... nor do I instill that in my kids ... of course it is way easier if you know your kid is a good kid vs. running amok with bad in mind ... I say she told you ... be open and figure out a way to do it so that both of you are open and less fearful... yes she will go anyway teens are like that ... but if she is open with you less likely for this to go to a bad place ... in other words - make limitations or ground rules for such an excursion

Mommy3.5

Sat, May 19 2007, 8:22 pm

the only issue I would have is lying. At 13 I was going the same distance either alone or with friends. Insist she use a helmet if needed,

GAMZu

Sat, May 19 2007, 9:26 pm

She's not a baby! Be happy that she is keeping herself fit and that she is open with you.
If you'd like, you can have her tell you each time before she goes so that you know where she is.
I also like the stores there!

amother

Sat, May 19 2007, 9:46 pm

I'm not op,

I'd feel quite uncomfortable having my child go such a distance by herself. I'm not sure other posters are aware of the neighborhoods your teen is traversing in order to get to those chochka places....but I certainly wouldn't want my child going there herself.

I would tell my child that I do not want her going there herself. And I'd set a date when we could go together.

Are there other issues with her? Do the two of you get along?

GAMZu

Sun, May 20 2007, 6:00 am

I know the neighborhoods. Nothing wrong with them. Not populated by frum ppl 100%, but not punky, crime filled neighborhoods, either.

Motek

Mon, May 21 2007, 6:37 am

OP - what made her tell you the truth?

brooklyn

Mon, May 21 2007, 8:38 am

I agree that the area is not bad. I would be happy that she told me the truth. I would explain that I want to to go together with someone else, not alone.

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