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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
pooki
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Sat, Jan 16 2016, 8:52 pm
So yesterday my first grade daughter showed me a collection of prizes that she got from a girl in her class. My daughter has been bringing a jump rope to school but I guess after a few days got sick of it. A girl in her class wanted to play jump rope with her but she told her I don't want to today I'm doing something else. The girl then promised her an eraser if she would play. Apparently my six year old thought this was a great business deal and has been playing the same card every day. I have mixed feelings on what to do. How would you handle this?
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SRS
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Sat, Jan 16 2016, 9:43 pm
Paying off other children, bribery, and unfair trading are activities that I try to control/put the kabosh on. If I was facing your situation I would explain the concept of a just trade which is were both parties benefit and later no one realizes they got the short end of the stick. I think it is really important for young people to understand that business is not about extortion but about all parties getting something that they value more. Technically the little girl with the erasers is getting something of value (a chance on the jump rope), but, in my estimation, it won't be much longer until she resents the trade because she will run out of erasers and won't have anything tangible to show. Again, only my assessment, but the simpler the trade, the easier it is for both parties to have long term satisfaction.
While I'd rather not deal with trading, since most parents will have to deal with it, we discuss what constitutes a fair trade and my kids know that if they grab up the less saavy kids "Mickey Mantles" for
the no name rookie, I will be reversing their trade.
If I was in your shoes, I would ask your daughter to explore what could be traded for a jump rope that leaves both of them in the same position. A jump rope for a skip it or a chance with a tennis racket is a good trade as they both get something of value and are left richer for it as they both get a chance to play with something they otherwise might not have. A jump rope for an eraser leaves your daughter richer and the other girl feeling poorer, even if objectively it isn't actually so.
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seeker
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Sun, Jan 17 2016, 12:09 am
Time for a heart-to-heart with DD about friendship and fair play.
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greenfire
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Sun, Jan 17 2016, 12:23 am
maybe there is something to be said on קנה לך חבר
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seeker
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Sun, Jan 17 2016, 12:30 am
greenfire wrote: | maybe there is something to be said on קנה לך חבר |
Sometimes there may be but not as a substitute for learning functional social skills at a young age.
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