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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section
Chuppah Erev Shabbos



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amother
Pearl


 

Post Fri, Jan 22 2016, 7:48 am
For a second marriage, do you think get married Erev Shabbos is okay?
The couple thinking about doing this are trying to keep the costs down, and are both chilled and laid back. They don't want a big simcha.
It would be in the summer, when Friday is longer.
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MyTimeNow




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 22 2016, 8:11 am
I think it's a beautiful idea.
It's their simcha. Having a small, intimate wedding then going straight into a summer shabbos? Sounds beautiful.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 22 2016, 8:32 am
My grandmother (she should live to 120!) got married on Erev Shabbos. This used to be traditional - they would get married on Erev Shabbos and Friday night meal was the wedding meal for extended family.

It's beautiful.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Fri, Jan 22 2016, 8:42 am
two of my relatives (two siblings) got married on a friday. It was their first (iyh only) wedding. It was a lot cheaper and easier to find dates. They had the chuppah followed by lunch and dancing. Very similar meal to normal. It was beautiful and no less nice then an evening wedding. It was convenient for out of town guests - they could come thursday night and leave sunday. Anyone close made the effort.

In Israel friday weddings are not unusual.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 22 2016, 9:31 am
I wanted to get married on Friday and have the Friday night meal be the Seudas mitzva....my husband and in laws nixed the idea.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Fri, Jan 22 2016, 9:56 am
My oldest DD would love this for her wedding.

She would like a small wedding with no dancing (she hates dancing). Need to find a Guy who would go along with that.

DD hates the traditional wedding post Chupah and it makes her lose her desire to get married.

I wish we had more people doing things out of the box.
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Fri, Jan 22 2016, 9:58 am
Smile My DD is a high school senior and considers herself an introvert. She tells me she doesn't know how she will handle a wedding, with all the pressure of having to smile at everyone and dance with so many people, etc...it overwhelms her.

I'm sure there's lots of people like her.

Never thought of this as an option (and I doubt it will be one) but we should move in that direction, shouldn't we? It would definitely save on costs, to have wedding/Shabbos Sheva Brachos combined.....
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questioner




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 22 2016, 10:05 am
I believe there is a possible halachic issue with a second marriage taking place on Erev Shabbos, so it may be worthwhile to consult a Rav. Otherwise, it sounds like a great idea!
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 22 2016, 10:49 am
I've heard you cannot complete a shtar on shabbos ... tashmish is the completion of the wedding contract hence the chuppah may not be erev shabbos
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 22 2016, 11:12 am
I once heard that people don't make weddings on Friday in case it goes into shabbos, people making it home.

My grandfather once told me a story from Poland there was an old tale about a wedding that was on Friday afternoon and the music and dancing continued into shabbos. The ground opened up and swallowed part of the wedding. He said no one would ever walk on the grass where this happened - I believe it is still a tourist spot today. and After that no one in the town every made a wedding on Friday.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 22 2016, 11:21 am
sky wrote:
I once heard that people don't make weddings on Friday in case it goes into shabbos, people making it home.

My grandfather once told me a story from Poland there was an old tale about a wedding that was on Friday afternoon and the music and dancing continued into shabbos. The ground opened up and swallowed part of the wedding. He said no one would ever walk on the grass where this happened - I believe it is still a tourist spot today. and After that no one in the town every made a wedding on Friday.

Generally when a wedding is on Friday its earlier in the day, in order to avoid exactly this problem.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 22 2016, 12:37 pm
I know. I hope no thought I was implying that because a wedding is on Friday they make come to violate shabbos.

I was just giving a story I heard as a source of why people don't make weddings on Friday. I believe there have been rabbanim through history who do not allow it.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 24 2016, 4:17 am
In Israel it is done very often. Ive been to a few friday weddings since making aliyah. They start before mid day usually. And are finished WELL before shabbat. During the winter not so much, but once shabbat comes in later in the day, there shouldnt be a problem with time.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 24 2016, 12:28 pm
Once upon a time it was common. It was another mitsva to add, because of the mitsva on shabbes etc. Apparently when people started going in honeymoon it became rarer because the rabbis didn't want to know the couple would leave on shabbes.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2016, 6:31 am
questioner wrote:
I believe there is a possible halachic issue with a second marriage taking place on Erev Shabbos, so it may be worthwhile to consult a Rav. Otherwise, it sounds like a great idea!


Questioner can you explain why it might be an issue?
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2016, 6:38 am
sky wrote:
I once heard that people don't make weddings on Friday in case it goes into shabbos, people making it home.

My grandfather once told me a story from Poland there was an old tale about a wedding that was on Friday afternoon and the music and dancing continued into shabbos. The ground opened up and swallowed part of the wedding. He said no one would ever walk on the grass where this happened - I believe it is still a tourist spot today. and After that no one in the town every made a wedding on Friday.

This was in Cracow, with the Rema, I believe. It involved a kohein marrying a divorced woman. He was coerced by the power of the time- King or whatever. He davened before performing the forced wedding and they were swallowed up. There is a fence around the place now.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Mon, Jan 25 2016, 6:40 am
From my memory, Because for a second marriage - only the act of physical intimacy completes the process of getting married (first wedding chupa does that)-', and it's like completing a contract or business on Shabbos.
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