What Chinuch Program Do You Recommend?

amother

Pink

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 5:10 pm

DH and I have very different parenting styles and perspectives and it is causing real shalom bayis problems on top of the obvious huge issue of neither of us being happy with how our children are being raised and disciplined. We have agreed to make compromises and follow one method that we can both relate to, but we need to choose one to follow. I should clarify that there are many things that we do agree on, especially in terms of the values we want to instill in our children, but the differences are biggies.

I've heard so many names: Dina Friedman, Simi Yellin, etc. And there are also rabbis who give courses, right? Whatever program we choose it needs to have the hascama of daas Torah.

Please tell me who/what you would recommend and a little bit about the shittah so I can see if it would be a good fit for us.

debsey

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 5:24 pm

amother wrote:

Whatever class you take, I suggest you listen to the lectures together and prioritize discussing what you are learning. so that you're both on the same page. Parenting educators are often mis-quoted and mis-understood, so listen together and discuss.

amother

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Mon, Jan 25 2016, 5:33 pm

Maya wrote:

Are you talking about a program on how to discipline children?

Not just discipline. I want something that includes an entire parenting perspective.

Examples: Both DH and I are on the same page about the need for structure and children listening to parents and following rules, etc. However, it's really important to me that the kids are happy and have an overall good feeling about their life and family. to DH, the main thing is that they need to listen. So he will punish more freely, whereas I will take the time to listen to what the child is saying before disciplining. Or I will overlook certain things because a child is overtired and I want them to go to bed happy and cozy, and he will think I am checking out and threaten or give a consequence. Or if one child is talking at night and keeping other kids up, he will just close the door, which upsets them all, where I will give warnings and maybe take the talker out of the room until the others fall asleep, or close the door for a minute and then open it on condition that it stays quiet.

I want something that goes into guidelines about building up the positive aspects of parenting, but also that is very specific about dealing with misbehavior and disciplining.

amother

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Mon, Jan 25 2016, 5:35 pm

debsey wrote:

Definitely! Yes, I want something that husbands can also listen to. I have taken parenting classes in the past and read books and it does not help to say it over... we will be in this together.

amother

Cerise

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 6:19 pm

Dina Friedman, hands down.

Dh and I listen together. It has changed us in so many ways. Not only parenting styles but our outlook in life as well. Learning what a parents roles are, how children's minds work and why to do certain things etc etc literally brought us closer.
I know she has haskamas rabbanim and she also mentions quite a few times where she takes ideas/methods/guidance from.

We started because we were stuck in a parenting rut but we turned into new individuals. I highly recommend her program. Worth every penny.