To those who say R. Rechnitz didn't propose a solution

amother

Seagreen

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 10:59 am

He did. There's only one practical solution right now and that's for all the schools to share responsibility and make sure every child has a place. He didn't exactly say that but by calling out the rabbanim in charge of these yeshivos, he was obviously suggesting that.

A few weeks ago my husband said the rav in shul said there's to much talking during davening. The rav didn't propose any solution. I think everyone figured out what the solution is. Whether they will follow thru or not is another story. Obviously R. Rechnitz was telling these people to allow every child in.

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 11:06 am

Great . So now we will put a gerer child apling to school in ytt a shgas aryeh family child in rachmastrifka an orchis chaim family child in toras zev. Great everyone got in . Now we should all be happy

tigerwife

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 11:09 am

amother wrote:

Plenty of standard, yeshivish Bais Yaakov kids not getting into any standard yeshiva or BY, too. This wouldn't be such a problem if it was only the kids from a different background.

amother

Seagreen

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 11:16 am

amother wrote:

Ok I'll spell it out for you. As long as the hashkafa is within reason, a school shouldn't decline a child. I don't think he meant that MO schools should accept chassidish or vice versa. The point is that excuses such as, we don't have room, or the family can't afford tuition, or the family doesn't have a good reputation are not valid reasons to decline a child. Maybe it won't solve the problem for every last kid but it's not debatable that if every menahel had this attitude the situation would be a lot better. If you are looking for a problem and trying to find a case where it won't help, I'm sure you will.

dimyona

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 11:23 am

Honestly, if a ger child applies to a school that doesn't match their chassidus, that means that the parents are interested in that option. What's the tragedy there? No one is telling schools to kidnap random children off the street, but to be more amenable in considering those who have expressed an interest in attending.

If a chassidish kid wants to attend an MO school, kol hakavod. And vice versa too. I have MO relatives who all went to chassidish elementary schools because their parents wanted them to have a "heimish" foundation. It was not unheard of back then when lines were more blurred, and everyone turned out great!

Mevater

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 11:32 am

dimyona wrote:

It was not unheard of back then when lines were more blurred, and everyone turned out great!

Yup! My Bais Yaakov class, in Brooklyn, way back, when there werent that many Chassidish schools, had girls who wore denim skirts and went to the movies, and very very frum girls whose mothers wore covered sheitels.

Fast forward, the modern girls are modern women, the Chassidish girls are Chassidish women. It was beautiful togetherness.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 11:37 am

Lakewood already does this. They have a vaad who places every child into a school rechnitz did not introduce this idea. The problem is that parents don't like the school they were placed into so they refuse to go and then they cry we have no school . But every single elementary age child is placed into a school before the school year. The last five that lets say nobody wants whether right or wrong is usually placed into the better established schools because they can handle it.

If a child has educational issues they might be forced to go to a school where it's for such children but parents might not want to go for fear of labeling their child.

So what new idea was introduced here now?

Mevater

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 11:42 am

amother wrote:

To begin with, he talked about how despicable some big shot parents are who call the school and say if you take that child, Im taking my child out. I guess people have to be reminded not to do that. Seems to me there might have been quite a bit of that going on.

Chayalle

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 11:45 am

amother wrote:

If a child has educational issues they might be forced to go to a school where it's for such children but parents might not want to go for fear of labeling their child.

Or more because of the fact that tuition is quadruple the price. And a host of other concerns, but I digress.

One of the big issues in Lakewood is that parents feel they are not being given a choice. With all its excellent intentions, the Vaad telling a parent to place their child in school Z without consideration for the parents' preference (I'm not talking about where parents want only one choice for their reputation - I'm talking about high school girls applying to 4 schools being told that not one of those choices will accept them) or the child's needs (socially, academically, etc...) is a tremendous source of pain for families in Lakewood, and is at the core of the issues we are facing as a community.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 11:50 am

I grew up in a Lubavitch school in a big Lubavitch community (not NY). We had girls of all stripes and colours. From Frum families and not Frum families. Ashkenatim and Sfardim.

It's the most beautiful thing. Thank G-d it still is that way until today. The boys school used to be that way, unfortunately they aren't anymore.

I think that's the approach that's needed. To treat every Jewish child as part of OUR community!

amother

Seagreen

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 11:51 am

amother wrote:

So your saying the problem is not the schools but the parents. So Rechnitz entire speech was off base because he clearly was placing the achrayis for the problem with the schools and not the parents. He actually said the line that he helps yeshivos that wouldn't accept his own children. Clearly he believes the problem is the people in charge of the yeshivos.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 12:17 pm

I'm not saying that I'm saying to the op of this thread that, that is not the solution that every child is already placed into a school but it's not good enough. so to say that rechnitz proposed some new idea I'm saying it's not new at all and it doesn't work we need a better idea.

There are many problems to the broken system and one is that yes parents aren't given a choice where they get to send and it's not fair to them. Also parents do complain about other parents and it's so wrong. We know the problems for years but none is doing anything about it.

I would have been more impressed with rechnitz speech if he had ideas how to fix this problem. How do you stop parents from speaking bad about other parents. To me this is horrible I first heard about this 13 years ago when a neighbor of mine did it to another neighbor. I heard it was horrible by nothing was done. So this practice just got worse and worse.

We need solutions we all know this is a terrible problem.

Chayalle

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 12:31 pm

amother wrote:

I would have been more impressed with rechnitz speech if he had ideas how to fix this problem. How do you stop parents from speaking bad about other parents.

Didn't he say that if a parent calls and says they won't send if their neighbor is accepted....the mosdos should tell them that apparently the school is not a good fit for them (the nasty caller, that is)....and that if there's a monetary loss due to this, they should call him?

That's what I call an idea....call these people out on their behavior.

I too would never have believed that anyone would do that to another Jewish child, until I encountered it...twice. Told to me directly by the perpetrator. I'm ashamed embarrassed

to say I was so shocked shock

on both occasions.... I didn't even have the presence of mind to say just what I think of that. I just turned into blubber.

Mevater

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 12:38 pm

Chayalle wrote:

to say I was so shocked shock

on both occasions.... I didn't even have the presence of mind to say just what I think of that. I just turned into blubber.

Some people (who consider themselves frum) are actually proud of their snobbishness and feelings of superiority. Go figure. Puke

thunderstorm

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 12:42 pm

Mevater wrote:

I WISH for schools to be this way still...it would solve so many issues and the ahavas yisroel would be greater too.

amother

Maroon

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 12:48 pm

Sorry, it's not true that every elementary kid gets in. My ds was supposed to go to a chassidish chewer that was opening amother class, along w a few other boys. They decided not to open, and boys were left w no school.
My oldest dd was tops in her grade, but the school decided not to accept another dd , with no explanation, without meeting her or anything.
A family member of mine had to drive their son to a school out of lakewood for a year bec he was not accepted into a school.
Let's not blame the parents please.

solo

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:55 pm

I didn't hear a solution in his speech. Because I don't hear him list any direct problems. It was all subversives. New code of Ani maamins, parents threatening the school, schools refusing children... And now with his apology letter the accusations r murkier even. It's a problem of elitism, the mosdos r not to blame... the point I made in an earlier thread was that perhaps starting the dialogue privately, before passing judgement publicly, could help identify and address the problem and create a real lasting change. To me this was a missed opportunity. Where someone with real financial and political clout, and the respect of so many people, could have started a discussion and eventually implement a real change. Instead it turned into a lot of finger pointing and passing the buck.

amother

Magenta

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 4:47 pm

amother wrote:

If a child has educational issues they might be forced to go to a school where it's for such children but parents might not want to go for fear of labeling their child.

So what new idea was introduced here now?

But if it was the Rosh yeshivah's child he would be excepted
Why cant we give EVERY 5 year old the chance is it not possible to grow? Do the schools really know better?