Such a thing as being too hands on?

amother

Aubergine

Sat, Jan 30 2016, 9:44 pm

Hi everyone! Okay I currently have an almost 3 year old and 10 month old. From day one when my older son was born, it seemed natural for me to want to be hands on with my son and play on floor with him. I didn't have anything else to keep me busy with during the day so that's what I wanted to do. My son also was born with a tad stubborn and needy nature. But I wanted to do my best as a mother and it felt natural to play with him all the time. Now he is almost 3 and when he comes home from school I still am In the habit of being hands on and doing play dough and coloring together and playing games. Now he has a hard time keeping busy on his own and therefore I feel like I have to be there to help him. I don't mind this I like spending time with him (at times can be hard and annoying when I need to make supper or work). I keep reading and hearing comments from love ones that I'm too busy with him at this age I should be doing my own thing and he should do his and I'm doing something detrimental. Is there a limit as to how much a parent should sit on floor and play with their kids in the long run? It's there such a thing as being too hands on? Am I doing more harm then good? I also came from a home of a very not involved mother and was always my Own playmate. Believe me I'm doing my best and learning at same time. I just constantly question myself as a mother and want to hear if I should be doing things differently.

amother

Teal

Sat, Jan 30 2016, 9:48 pm

amother wrote:

I think you need a balance. Yes you should spend some time with him, but he needs to be able to entertain himself on his own without you. Otherwise as he gets older he will expect you to be the entertainment director twenty four seven

FranticFrummie

Sat, Jan 30 2016, 9:51 pm

See if you can get him interested in playing near you, while you cook or fold laundry. You can comment on what he's doing, but don't get hands on involved. Eventually, you can start moving further away. Before you know it, he'll be playing with his new sibling, and things will sort themselves out better.