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I feel like the spending never ends!!!!



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amother
Silver


 

Post Tue, Jan 19 2016, 10:26 pm
I feel like I spend too much. I don't mean budget wise, I am well within what we earn. But I find that the past year or so things have gotten out of hand. Yes my family grew and there are more needs so obviously more expenses but my spending is bothering me. for example, today I went through about $600 in 1 day!!! I bought 3 pairs of snow boots for different kids who didn't have any hand me downs in their sizes, ( I keep snow boots from kid to kid but 3 ppl didn't have sizes they needed), and 2 winter coats for kids who have outgrown theirs, I was just waiting for the sales and they were wearing their old ones till now. I bought 2 sleds and 2 kids shovels $40, a large target trip of almost $100 for household essentials, grocery $50, play tickets for my 2 daughters $40, tutor $50, 3 summer skirts I got 60% off on sale for upcoming summer...am I out of control here? on one hand most of these are necessary (boots, coats, grocery) but say the skirts, play tickets, and sleds, yeah we can survive without it. I just see the numbers add up and I freak out. I don't think I'm a shopping addict. I have a list of things I need and I just go to the stores as needed to get them. If an item isn't on my list or its a spontaneous purchase I don't do it. Tomorrow I have another list of errands. I wish I could just stay home and organize/relax/enjoy my home 2x week but these are things that just need to get done. Is this just what the life of managing a family/household is all about? (BTW I worked until recently and I'm off this year... so previously when I needed to buy stuff I just didn't and we lived without whatever...can't get away with it these days the kids are bigger, all the friends are going to pizza/grocery/play/sledding, etc. dollar store activities aren't gonna do it for them.)
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boysrus




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 19 2016, 11:09 pm
amother wrote:
I feel like I spend too much. I don't mean budget wise, I am well within what we earn. But I find that the past year or so things have gotten out of hand. Yes my family grew and there are more needs so obviously more expenses but my spending is bothering me. for example, today I went through about $600 in 1 day!!! I bought 3 pairs of snow boots for different kids who didn't have any hand me downs in their sizes, ( I keep snow boots from kid to kid but 3 ppl didn't have sizes they needed), and 2 winter coats for kids who have outgrown theirs, I was just waiting for the sales and they were wearing their old ones till now. I bought 2 sleds and 2 kids shovels $40, a large target trip of almost $100 for household essentials, grocery $50, play tickets for my 2 daughters $40, tutor $50, 3 summer skirts I got 60% off on sale for upcoming summer...am I out of control here? on one hand most of these are necessary (boots, coats, grocery) but say the skirts, play tickets, and sleds, yeah we can survive without it. I just see the numbers add up and I freak out. I don't think I'm a shopping addict. I have a list of things I need and I just go to the stores as needed to get them. If an item isn't on my list or its a spontaneous purchase I don't do it. Tomorrow I have another list of errands. I wish I could just stay home and organize/relax/enjoy my home 2x week but these are things that just need to get done. Is this just what the life of managing a family/household is all about? (BTW I worked until recently and I'm off this year... so previously when I needed to buy stuff I just didn't and we lived without whatever...can't get away with it these days the kids are bigger, all the friends are going to pizza/grocery/play/sledding, etc. dollar store activities aren't gonna do it for them.)

hey there, I could have written your post. I think that many if not all of us can relate. As fast as the money comes in, it flies out even faster. On just life;s necessities. It can be a bit depressing if you stop to think about it. Which is why I try not to think about it. As long as you are within budget, then I think you should not worry too much about it. Now as for me, that's a different story, because I find it is hard to stay in budget Smile
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 20 2016, 12:03 am
Are these things happening all the time or are you just feeling it hard because right now you had a lot of expenses at once? Because these things happen, I also have that kind of thing where one kid suddenly outgrew her shoes midseason and one suddenly outgrew her boots and one lost her custom orthotic insert that the insurance will only cover once a year and the school suddenly demands $50 for production participation and it's time to restock groceries (and didn't happen but could easily have: kid rips through $40 uniform jumper and needs a new one ASAP, unexpected dental work, speeding ticket, etc etc) and suddenly there's like $500 on the credit card all at once and I flip out just looking at it. But that doesn't usually happen. When it rains it pours. At the end of the day with times like this on top of regular life I usually end up over my budget, but you say you don't have that issue so I wouldn't worry so much. Yes life happens and it will keep on happening but if you're right about not being a shopping addict or an impulse spender then everything you described seems normal enough.
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HonesttoGod




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 20 2016, 10:56 am
Are you in control of your money?
And by in control I mean do you budget and keep track of every penny earned and spent?
It sounds like you would really benefit from this. Even if you do have a lot of income and you don't think you need a budget, a budget is not only smart for savings and low-income it is a really good way to just keep track of everything especially if you feel overwhelmed with how much you are spending.

It also makes you think twice before spending on extras even if it is on sale or a special price.

If you want to know more I can give you some ideas but the way you are writing this it comes across as something you would only benefit from having a budget.

At the end of teh day though, things do come up. Currently whatever I make is spent before I even make it and that is just basics. And then you have a bit extra to finally buy yourself something and boom $200 just gone.
I find that having a budget and reviewing my spending every week helps me to feel calmer and to be on top of it all, helps me not to feel like I am just blowing away money.
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SRS




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 20 2016, 11:28 am
I think the feeling of being hit all at once is a feature of having a good few kids that are older. The basics are still there, but then all the other stuff seems to hit at once. It doesn't sound that your budget is actually out of control, but that the cash flow is crazy and you are used to spending in smaller increments, not all at once. If you keep a budget on Quicken or some other way, I'd compare your changes from month to month or quarter to quarter.

This post underscores the importance of putting aside cash to be able to move gracefully when everything just slams you at once.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2016, 12:56 am
I feel this month is the same way for us. But then again, every month "something" happens. Whether it is new shoes, my computer about to die, or something else. Like one kid has been sleeping in a crib and should be moved to a "real bed" but I am pushing it off because of the expense. Same with other needed furniture- we have made due thus far with what we have so one more month won't hurt.
But if we can make it "only one big one a month" we are ok. So we save our $$ for these crazy times... We know pesach and sukkos each happen once a year, so in between during the 6months we save where we can. If we BH don't have a big purchase needed, we save it as we know it will be happening soon instead of a splurge.
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livingthedream




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2016, 11:30 am
I agree that every month something happens. But what do you do when that "something" is huge - I.e. my company decided to now have employees pay for health insurance for spouse / dependents, which will be $17,000 / yr (we've looked into cheaper plans but due to some health issues my company's plan is the most viable for us). My job is also specialized so not easy to find replacement job. DH owns own business, makes decent salary ,but works from 9am to 10 pm 5 days a week plus most of the day Sunday, and I work full time. Also, DH feels that with the hours putting in he does not want to have to be on a tight budget. We're making it but with this insurance now, it's going to put us over the edge. We can't refinance yet bc we just did a major construction project bc house was tiny cape cod and 3 kids.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2016, 11:35 am
amother wrote:
I feel this month is the same way for us. But then again, every month "something" happens. Whether it is new shoes, my computer about to die, or something else. Like one kid has been sleeping in a crib and should be moved to a "real bed" but I am pushing it off because of the expense. Same with other needed furniture- we have made due thus far with what we have so one more month won't hurt.
But if we can make it "only one big one a month" we are ok. So we save our $$ for these crazy times... We know pesach and sukkos each happen once a year, so in between during the 6months we save where we can. If we BH don't have a big purchase needed, we save it as we know it will be happening soon instead of a splurge.


just a suggestion re: the crib: let that kid sleep on the crib mattress on the floor. instant big-kid bed, no expense to you. as long as the kid still fits on the crib mattress, he doesn't need another piece of furniture. plus, he has less distance to fall should he roll off.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2016, 12:15 pm
Good idea about crib mattress on the floor. DC still fits on it but we are expecting another child IYH so wanted the crib for the new one. We wanted it a natural progression not a "here's your first sibling, don't kill it, and now baby has your bed". But maybe we can try it to see if DC is ready to go out...
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2016, 12:35 pm
amother wrote:
Good idea about crib mattress on the floor. DC still fits on it but we are expecting another child IYH so wanted the crib for the new one. We wanted it a natural progression not a "here's your first sibling, don't kill it, and now baby has your bed". But maybe we can try it to see if DC is ready to go out...


yup. and another crib mattress is cheaper than a new bed. people often give away good condition used ones. if you're in brooklyn, I have one to give away. pm me if you want it. b'shaah tova!
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SRS




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2016, 12:41 pm
livingthedream wrote:
I agree that every month something happens. But what do you do when that "something" is huge - I.e. my company decided to now have employees pay for health insurance for spouse / dependents, which will be $17,000 / yr (we've looked into cheaper plans but due to some health issues my company's plan is the most viable for us). My job is also specialized so not easy to find replacement job. DH owns own business, makes decent salary ,but works from 9am to 10 pm 5 days a week plus most of the day Sunday, and I work full time. Also, DH feels that with the hours putting in he does not want to have to be on a tight budget. We're making it but with this insurance now, it's going to put us over the edge. We can't refinance yet bc we just did a major construction project bc house was tiny cape cod and 3 kids.


There really is only one solution to a monthly budget change like paying your own health insurance which is to completely re-do your budget to accommodate it. Basically your pay was cut 20K and something, so you will have to figure out how to make your lower pay work. Stinks, but there are really no shortcuts. You can't re-fi your way out of this type of change. You just have to make some major decisions.
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2016, 1:07 pm
amother wrote:
Is this just what the life of managing a family/household is all about?


Forgive me if I misunderstood, OP, but I didn't get the sense in your post that you were looking for budgeting advice. Rather, that you just feel a little lightheaded (or maybe more than a little!) when you see money flying out of your account so quickly.

I would say, yes, that's what it's like, especially as kids get older.

None of the expenses is frivolous, but they just keep coming, and half the time, it's the endless stream of nickel-and-dime expenses: $20 for this and $15 for that. As a politician once said about government spending, "A billion here and a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money!"

I don't have any great advice, just commiseration!
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2016, 1:14 pm
Life is expensive and every month it's one thing or another that costs unexpectedly.

Do you feel that you are saving sufficiently in terms of having at least 3 months emergency cash as well as being on target for retirement and other anticipated expenses.

If you are spending everything that you make, then you should take a look at discretionary expenses like snow shovels for children. Not that you should never spend money on discretionary items but perhaps if you track your discretionary spending for a month, you will be better able to make a decision as to whether you want to spend the money in that way rather than another.

And in my humble opinion, adequate savings is NOT discretionary especially for a family that appears to have a somewhat comfortable income like OP.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2016, 2:57 pm
I feel really similar to you, op, except sometimes I feel like I am a shopping addict, or more like a spending addict. I keep trying to slow it down. But it's tough.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Mon, Feb 01 2016, 1:06 pm
livingthedream wrote:
I agree that every month something happens. But what do you do when that "something" is huge - I.e. my company decided to now have employees pay for health insurance for spouse / dependents, which will be $17,000 / yr (we've looked into cheaper plans but due to some health issues my company's plan is the most viable for us). My job is also specialized so not easy to find replacement job. DH owns own business, makes decent salary ,but works from 9am to 10 pm 5 days a week plus most of the day Sunday, and I work full time. Also, DH feels that with the hours putting in he does not want to have to be on a tight budget. We're making it but with this insurance now, it's going to put us over the edge. We can't refinance yet bc we just did a major construction project bc ho
use was tiny cape cod and 3 kids.


Ppl associate being on a budget negatively, like not being able to afford things. I always thought of it the opposite way, if I know what's going on I have the freedom to spend. (hopefully, assuming ur sitch is good) if u know what money goes where u can cut it where it's less felt- like still go for nice dinner dates but stop paying for a snow shoveling service or buy less frozen/takeout stuff.
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