Apikorsos Ideologies in a Post

PinkFridge

Mon, Feb 01 2016, 2:02 pm

There's been something germinating in my mind, and I've been tempted to develop it here, the SB thread, and the business trip thread. Here might be the best place. Deep breath and here goes:

There is a mishna, or gemara. I thought it was in Avos perek 6 but can't find it. A Rav Yosi says something like, without the Torah there would be may Yosis in the marketplace. An explanation I heard is that without Torah we would be fragmented. We'd be Yosi the businessman, Yosi the neighbor, Yosi the father, the husband, etc. But with Torah, ideally, we should be one, consistent person. Wherever we are, under whatever circumstances, we will act according to our core values.

Some people may wonder why others take Imamother so seriously and the reason is, we can't help it. If we're are people who try not to cross the line between irreverence and pure leitzanus, we will think of Imamother when we say "Al cheit..b'latzon" And "b'zilzul horim I'morim comes up" As do all the ones related to arayos and shmiras ainayim. (Yes, we women too try to do this in our own ways.) There are people who feel their sensitivities have been eroded and either block everything but recipes or simply don't come here anymore. That's not where I am but I respect that.

You have no idea how long I thought before submitting this:
http://www.imamother.com/forum.....rt=20 (the post about being married 30 years etc.) And under my own sn yet. But I felt it had to be said and would carry more weight under my sn (fwiw).

So folks, please understand where some posters are coming from.

PinkFridge

Tue, Feb 02 2016, 9:42 am

marina wrote:

What I like about you Pink, is that you are sincere. And kind. Smile

Aw, thanks. (Still conflicted though.)
I should say, for the sake of newbies who can't figure out Imamother, you should know that there are some women's only, highly moderated email groups out there. Probably stuff on the FB too but I have no idea. Once you're on something this big and broad, fasten your seat belts. This is the WWW, as in wild wild web.

But OTOH - and again, newbies, hope you're paying attention - understand that you don't know people here. You don't know where they're coming from, how far they've come to get here and hang in here. Of course, we only know what people share, and we have to assume that they're sharing fairly honestly. But assume that it's usually safe to be dlkz. And remember that when we're only represented by our keystrokes, people can't see our body language or good intentions so make sure your words reflect them.

What do you think, OP?

poelmamosh

Tue, Feb 02 2016, 11:09 am

mille wrote:

For Chabad, there's an even better example. They will encourage you to light Shabbos candles even if you will immediately go watch TV after. Better to do one mitzvah than to do zero mitzvot, right? It's the same thing - better to avoid mixing meat and milk even if you are eating something not kosher to begin with. Better to avoid s-x with your husband during certain days, even if you don't do bedikot before going to the mikvah, vs just having s-x all the time. Even emotionally and spiritually I would argue it's better to do something rather than nothing. It fosters a connection to Judaism that would otherwise be lacking. Especially in today's society with so much intermarriage and Jews having zero religious connection, let's work to foster the connections that exist rather than putting people down for not doing it our way.

I am a Chabad shlucha and while I perhaps agree with some sentiments expressed here, it lacks nuance for me.

Lighting Shabbos candles is its own mitzvah (d'Rabbanan) so has value even in the absence of Shabbos observance.

Mixing non-kosher meat with milk, no issur there, actually. I wouldn't see the point in encouraging someone to do it in the interest of "taking on mitzvos."

Avoiding relations in the context of marriage, no bedikos...I would only see this as valuable in the context of "Maybe try this for awhile and see how it goes," for someone who is inspired by mikvah, but not sure they can handle it, ie not an endgame action, but a step in a process towards keeping TH(with the minimum halacha requirements).

I've never advised anyone in the process of downgrading their observances, but would certainly not do so without discussion with a sensitive, experienced posek (fortunately, I know one).