Soon to be Mum of 2 under 2 beH- looking for tips ;)

israelgirl

Fri, Feb 05 2016, 6:35 am

groisamomma wrote:

Wow, that's a lot to expect. DC was 10.5 months when I had DC#2. Two weeks later dh learned how to do laundry.

and the rules in my house: (5 kids under 5)

As long as everyone is happy and I look at them as they are talking to me giving sincere hugs and kisses throughout the day, then it was a success.

israelgirl

Fri, Feb 05 2016, 6:36 am

Also-2 kids is still 2 hands. It's really manageable. (as long as the baby isn't super colicky, then nothing is manageable including getting out of bed in the morning)

Ruchel

Fri, Feb 05 2016, 10:44 am

-spoil yourself... you decide...for me it was davka fighting to come out before the 3 days
-it's ok if baby and toddler stay in pj
-dh must do all the lifting/heavy/hanging laundry (tell him you'll recover quicker LOL)
-get husband/mom/order meals, don't cook, oh and cereals rock
-you DONT have to go shpatzirn with the baby down the block

See my gaps in my sig Smile

Eventually you do get much better, especially when baby starts sleeping and/or husband gets up.

groisamomma

Fri, Feb 05 2016, 12:39 pm

amother wrote:

Wow. So you really can get pg that first pp mikvah.

LOL, of course it's possible and don't think I learned my lesson after that...it took another two babies at that pace to get smart. Tongue Out

gibberish

Fri, Feb 05 2016, 1:04 pm

lfab wrote:

My first 2 are 13 months apart. I think the biggest sanity saver for me was allowing myself to be ok with good enough. If there was food on the table for dinner it was good enough for it to be a simple chicken and potatoes or pasta and cheese; no need for anything gourmet. If the house wasn't a disaster of a mess it was good enough; no need for it to be absolutely spotless. Don't expect perfection from yourself, and make sure your husband doesn't either! It also helps if DH is willing to pitch in and help out (ie. do the dinner dishes, sweep the floors, etc.).

Also realize, just like it took you a few months to find a routine with your first it will take you a few months to find a good routine when you add a second. Tell yourself to take it one day at a time. Look back on that time with your first and keep telling yourself that you know it will get easier, just like it did with your first.

Try to keep your older child's routine the same as much as possible. Obviously there will still be an adjustment period of some sort but the less upheaval DC #1 has the easier it will be.

Personally I found that at this age they are so little that by the time baby is 2 weeks old they don't even remember a time without baby around and they adapt to life with a sibling. When they are older and they remember what it was like when they had their parents undivided attention there is likely to be a longer adjustment period. At least that's been my experience (but it also depends on your child's personality, some children just adapt more easily than others).

In terms of practical solutions to make it a little easier: try to stock your freezer before baby is born so you can just pull out food for dinner, snacks, etc. Meatballs, sloppy joes, various soups, kugels, muffins, and more are all great to have on hand. Stock up on anything you can (ie. toilet paper, paper towels, cereal, cleaning supplies, etc.). This will prevent you from having to run out for any of these items because you were so busy and you didn't realize that you were on the last roll of toilet paper and now it's 10 p.m. and you need more and now you have to run to the store when all you really want is to crawl into bed. I usually try to stock up on enough non-perishables to get us until baby is about 2 months old.

Was going to say exactly this!! From a mom that's been there too

cnc

Fri, Feb 05 2016, 1:08 pm

groisamomma wrote:

LOL, of course it's possible and don't think I learned my lesson after that...it took another two babies at that pace to get smart. Tongue Out

Wow!! Bli ayin hora.
Off topic, but do you find it easy having children so closely spaced (now that they're older). ? Are they good friends ?

amother

Smokey

Fri, Feb 05 2016, 2:13 pm

groisamomma wrote:

LOL, of course it's possible and don't think I learned my lesson after that...it took another two babies at that pace to get smart. Tongue Out

Can I ask if you were nursing? Debating when to start the mini pill

groisamomma

Fri, Feb 05 2016, 4:50 pm

Cc and smokey no I wasn't nursing and yes my kids are a ball of fun now that they're older. They can entertain each other for hours and we can go pretty much anywhere because they're all in the same age range.

amother

Olive

Sat, Feb 06 2016, 10:27 pm

1) Definitely rest for the first 6 weeks.
2) Ask for help whenever possible
3) Whenever someone needs to nurse throughout the day (I tandem nurse, yes you can get pregnant while nursing after you get a period. Yes, you might get a period from pumping for just 1 day.) I get into bed with both of them. This way the toddler is also getting special time and I am also resting.
4) I try to make meals ahead. I always start a day with lunch already made. I make breakfast the night before. I make dinner early in the day. This way it's less of a crisis
5) Teach DH how to do laundry when you are pregnant. Then tell him how wonderfully he does it. My DH is now the laundry expert.
6) Tell your toddler what a great big brother/sister they are and enlist their 'help' taking care of the baby. it keep the toddler busy
7) I find it easier to bedshare with both children (me in the middle) than to get up 4-5 times a night each.
8) shower the toddler with gifts.

Good luck! I honestly think this age spread is easier.

BatZion

Mon, Feb 08 2016, 1:22 pm

wow, didn't check in for a couple of days - so much fun to come back and see so many more replies- thank-you so much to all of you- for the validation, tips, etc! Really, really appreciate it!

amother

Red

Mon, Feb 08 2016, 1:45 pm

My twins were 25 months when my third DC was born. I agree with all of the posters who say to prepare your DH to help a LOT around the house if he doesn't already. Also with getting the house stocked with supplies so you're not running last-minute errands. And, accept help when offered!

Having a baby wrap/carrier is essential so you can hold the baby and have hands free for the older sibling.

I agree to get out of the house a lot. Daily park trips are great. Baby can sleep while the older child gets attention.

We also made nursing time story time for the older siblings. I kept a basket of books by the sofa so the toddlers could settle in to read while baby nursed.

My DC loved having baby dolls, baby stroller, moses basket for their babies. They liked caring for their babies and imitating what I did with our baby. One and a half year olds can definitely learn "shhh...baby's sleeping" and things like that - this is just the age to start acting out what they see in the world, and they will take pride in caring for their doll. Mine liked "wearing" their baby doll strapped on to their chest with a blanket makeshift baby-carrier. Even my DS also sat on the sofa and nursed the baby doll when he thought the doll was hungry. Also don't be surprised if they take some of their feelings or frustrations out on the baby dolls.

I think that my later children are all better sleepers because I didn't run into their bedroom at the first peep like I did with my first. They would wake and settle themselves down in the 2-3 minutes it took me to get to their room.

Also, like other posters said, you've done this before, so the second isn't usually as world-changing or as difficult as the first. You've done the baby thing before and have gotten the hang of it.

Our new babies always "bring" a gift for each older child.