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amother
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Post Sat, Feb 06 2016, 8:48 pm
So IYH I will be due right before pesach. Mine will be slightly over 2 years apart but still very needy/clingy. Working on that now, teaching DC to be ok with play dates, play group etc. been hard for DC to separate unless with DH or grandparents (who BH live close).
I have been reading the tips on the other page- but how will that be different with pesach? I can't stock my freezer. I can't buy most non perishables in the food department. I sell chometz gamur but I won't stock premade food for post pesach.
In the next month I plan to stock up on things like toilet paper, detergent, diapers and shampoo as those don't go bad.
Pesach itself is still a question... What to do. Tips? Ideas? Help!!
Oh, and tiny apartment so it's not like I have an eat in kitchen or anything to clean now for pesach and keep food in there. And not tons of room to stock up now. DC isn't toilet trained- hoping to try soon but totally isn't interested.
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abaker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2016, 5:51 pm
Just had my 2nd. They're 2yrs and a month apart. I can't answer all your questions but here is a little advice I am finding to be helpful and have been doing.

-when big brother or sister comes to the hospital to meet baby put baby down. Hug your 1st child, greet him happily with open arms. Be sure to send a sincere message of I love you and you are important to me. This applies to your daily life at home too. Shower him with love and spend time with him when baby is nursing or sleeping you can read/sing/play toys with the 2 yr old.
-empower your 2 year old, give him jobs to help you ex. Can you get me a diaper? Can you get your socks on by yourself? And thank and praise him.
-expect a little jealousy and respond to it lovingly. My toddler slept with my dh the other night, we could tell he was feeling lonely and realized he just needed cuddles. So instead of making him stay in his room we said ok to his request of staying in tattys bed. And tonight he is back in his own room, he got the love he craved and we didn't create a "bad habit" by letting him sleep in our room.
-for food I would stick to easy to prepare, nourishing, and Pesach friendly meals. Not to cook in advance but think chicken meat or fish with veggies salad cut fruit and soups. That's the kind of thing I crave when I'm nursing anyway.
-take it easy don't go crazy Pesach cleaning. Do the best you can and enjoy your little ones. I was much more stressed out with my first baby. This time around I am taking the time to sit on the floor, play with my toddler, cuddle the baby, and using every opportunity to the fullest. My toddler helps me in the kitchen,I put a shiur on while we play, we daven together, I find that really engaging with the kids puts us all in a better mood. Where as when I try to get everything done, the kids don't get enough attention and by the time dh gets home I feel like a shmatta and am so grumpy. I do clean up right away before the mess gets out of control which helps too. But I don't worry that everything is perfect if that makes sense.
Bshah tovah hope my tips help you!


Last edited by abaker on Tue, Feb 09 2016, 5:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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abaker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2016, 5:55 pm
Forgot to add..wait on potty training. My motto is if you don't have time to devote your attention to potty training (which you won't with a newborn) hold off a little while. Starting when you don't have the time will be frustrating for you and your toddler. Also you don't want to start anything new at the same time your toddler will be adjusting to a sibling. Wait until things are more settled.
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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2016, 6:09 pm
amother wrote:
So IYH I will be due right before pesach. Mine will be slightly over 2 years apart but still very needy/clingy. Working on that now, teaching DC to be ok with play dates, play group etc. been hard for DC to separate unless with DH or grandparents (who BH live close).
I have been reading the tips on the other page- but how will that be different with pesach? I can't stock my freezer. I can't buy most non perishables in the food department. I sell chometz gamur but I won't stock premade food for post pesach.
In the next month I plan to stock up on things like toilet paper, detergent, diapers and shampoo as those don't go bad.
Pesach itself is still a question... What to do. Tips? Ideas? Help!!
Oh, and tiny apartment so it's not like I have an eat in kitchen or anything to clean now for pesach and keep food in there. And not tons of room to stock up now. DC isn't toilet trained- hoping to try soon but totally isn't interested.


Kids are really much more resilient than we give them credit for, being so close in age, the older may not notice the change as much as an older kid. (I.e. 2.5 or 3) and hopefully still naps, so you can--ha ha--try to coordinate them--but it can happen. Also since baby sleeps so much, you can still give lots of attention to your older child. Separation anxiety tends to lessen around 24 months, so you may have an easier time as the date gets closer. Though regression after baby is born will be TOTALLY normal. I wouldn't even THINK of toilet training until after pesach--don't need another stress at this point. Especially if your other child is a boy and they tend to potty train closer to 3-3.5 anyway.

With regard to pesach, 1) In R' Scheinberg zt"l's book on advice to women (Heart to Heart Talks) he addressed exactly this. In this case just clean the BARE MINIMUM-I.e. kitchen, and were toddler has LIKELY gone with chometz--his room and living room. But a thorough cleaning should suffice. You're looking for "cheerio" sized chometz.

The nice thing about having a baby--is you will likely get help from other people? Husband, Neighbors, Friends. Cook simply--make stews instead of fancy meat dishes, roasted or cooked vegetables instead of kugels. And I'm not a posek or a rav, but this may be an instance where you can rely on packaged goods or neighbor's foods if you don't otherwise.

The nice thing about pesach--it may not be so desirable, but pesach food doesn't expire when you make havdala (though some people do), but you can use the leftovers after pesach.

Hope this is somewhat helpful.
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amother
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Post Tue, Feb 09 2016, 9:04 pm
Wow, so helpful! Thanks! DH is planning on doing a lot of the cleaning but I am the nervous type. I like lists and plans but with giving birth so much is up in the air. Need to buy MM stuff now in case I give birth early so DH can just stuff and deliver the basics. But of course, he could also just run to the kosher store, buy grape juice and a package of rugelach and hand it to some frum person we see at the hospital or at megilla :-).
Hmm. Any other suggestions? Please!
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Gerbera




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 10 2016, 1:13 am
I was due with number 4 on Pesach...oldest just turned 4 years old. Best thing I did was kasher my kitchen for a day and cooked everything I needed....soups, meatballs, chicken, etc and then switched the kitchen back over. We eat a lot of salads and when I made meal plans I included things that can easily be made day of. I planned every meal....and just know your limitations.

Pesach is not spring cleaning. You don't need to rip apart your house. I don't allow food out of the main floor so I don't go crazy in the basement or upstairs.

Other thing maybe you could do is use someone's pesach kitchen to cook. I had so many ppl offer their kitchens to me. Was just easier for me to cook during the day than at night and my husband cooked side by side with me and helped with the kids.

Your older child will be ok :-) you can sit and read books together while feeding the baby. Babies tend to sleep a lot at the beginning so he/she can still get lots of attention.

My oldest was 2 when my third kid was born and she loved being a helper....running to get diapers....running to get the wipes....blankets....anything really. Makes them feel special.

You'll be good :-) don't panic or try to over plan. I'm a superb worrier and get stressed out over so much....but I've learned that there's nothing wrong with having cereal for dinner if need be. Nothing wrong with tuna and egg for shabbat lunch....do what's good for you and your family.
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