Not sure what help/evaluation I need

amother

Sun, May 04 2014, 1:45 pm

A bit of background.

My second ds is 6 yrs old. My oldest ds is 7 yrs old and is an "oldest child" in every sense of the word. He likes to be in charge and tell his younger siblings what to do etc. Older ds has no social problems in school- he has the social smarts to know what and how to talk to his peers.

Problem is my second ds. Very passionate by nature, he is/was given no power cuz my oldest is the "boss" in the house- he exercises his power on his peers, but now in a smart way, in a way that no one would want to be his friend. Coupled by the fact that he is passionate, when a friend does something "wrong" he would yell at him.

But it is not that he is a bully cuz if something does not go his way, he has no problem bursting out crying in front of his friends (which once again does not make him likeable to his friends and in the future would be a perfect target for a bully)

He is extremely bright and creative. We got a behavior specialist come and observe him in school- she basically saw a kid that things have to go his way or else... She also saw a bit of impulsivity.

So we decided to send him to a social skills group. He went weekly for a half a year till the therapist said that she sees no reason for him to be there cuz he was absolutely fine- very considerate of others. We were confused cuz things in school have not neccessaroly gotten better. Therapist understood it that in school he felt his power was threatened so he felt he had to force his opinion on others . I figured that the social skills group is an extremely controlled environment 5 kids with two therapists, how wrong can one behave over there! It is not a natural true environment.
So I looked around for larger social skills groups but hey don't have any more than 6 kids.

So my question his- what can I do from here. Should I get him fully evaluated to see I there is an underlying issue? Is it his nature coupled by the fact that his older brother is very bossy?

This can't go on like this And the older he gets the bigger the problem will be.

Any advice?