Looking for a source

HealthCoach

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 11:01 am

There is a concept that if you see a trait that you don't like in someone else, Hashem is showing you a mirror, and you need to fix in yourself. Does anyone know the source for this?

5mom

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 11:11 am

Perhaps you are referring to the Rashi in Devarim 1:27, the retelling of the story of the meraglim. The people said that Hashem took them out of Egypt because he hated them. Rashi comments that Hashem loved them but they hated him and quotes saying: How you feel about your friend is what you think he feels about you.
In other words, projection of emotions.

HealthCoach

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 11:20 am

Thanks, I'm not referring to that, though it's for sure true.

etky

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 11:37 am

There is a saying in Hebrew: כל הפוסל במומו פוסל that means what you explained (minus the part about Hashem and the mirror). It's roughly like "the teapot calling the kettle black".
I think its talmudic in origin but I'm not certain.

greenfire

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 11:41 am

I always found that saying disturbing because I do NOT believe it to be true.

Maybe we're just sensitive to a certain trait.

Perhaps we have the ability & yet use self-control NOT to act on said trait.

5mom

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 11:44 am

etky wrote:

Yes, it's a paraphrase of a line in gemara kiddushin (70b) Much closer than my idea. I thought the OP wanted something specifically from Chumash.

GetReal

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 11:46 am

Maybe you mean a teaching of the Baal Shem tov:

Your fellow is your mirror. If your own face is clean, so will be the image you perceive. But should you look upon your fellow and see a blemish, it is your own imperfection that you are encountering - you are being shown what it is that you must correct within yourself.

etky

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 11:53 am

GetReal wrote:

This is definitely more didactic than the talmudic saying that I quoted.

trixx

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 12:39 pm

mum shebicha al tomar lechavercha
don't know the actual source but based on the baal shem tov

This is the reason that when Sheim and Yafes covered Noach the posuk says "v'ervas avihem lo ra'u" - they didn't see the nakedness of their father - it's redundant phrasing, obviously if they didn't look they didn't see - reason is that Shem and Yafes didn't "see" in Noach any blemish because they didn't have it in themselves

LiLIsraeli

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 12:45 pm

There is a passuk but I'm not sure of the exact wording or location. The loose translation is "[One person says to the other] Remove the toothpick from between your teeth, [and the second responds] remove the log from between your eyes." Not in chumash, I'm thinking Mishlei.

etky

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 12:48 pm

LiLIsraeli wrote:

Also talmudic I think - טֹל קֵיסָם מִבֵּין שִׁנֶּיךָ טֹל קוֹרָה מִבֵּין עֵינֶיךָ

etky

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 12:53 pm

So, we've progressed from "the teapot calling the kettle black" to "people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones".
I guess this is universal wisdom....