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Forum -> Judaism -> Halachic Questions and Discussions
Would this be a Kiddish Hashem or not?



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amother
Brunette


 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2016, 2:54 pm
So I am driving my (rather challenging) mother to a doctor's appt, and I'm not feeling too well myself. As I am going through the parking lot there's a mother with two little boys (let's say 4 & 6 or so) waiting to walk from her car to the sidewalk. I see I have room to go by and I go drop off my Mom.

She comes next to my car and yells something like "next time don't speed through a parking lot when I'm trying to cross with my children." I ignore her and she yells " Did you hear me?" So I nod.

I go inside with Mom & I am davening, let her not be going to the same office where we are going. But then I think, she's probably seeing a pediatrician in the same building. Should I go in there & look for her and apologize? Tell her my Mom is enough to make anyone lose their mind & I did not mean to cut her off? I was not endangering her kids in any way, I saw them on the side, and in a better mood of course I'd have motioned to her to cross in front of me.

Or do I leave well enough alone?

We live in an area with a lot of frum people and one of us was wearing a snood, so she may very well have realized we're frum, and maybe it was a Chillul Hashem. So perhaps if I apologized it would make a Kiddush Hashem?

Or perhaps she's just a nut-case who yells at everyone who's not courteous enough for her liking. Or an anti-Semite.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2016, 2:57 pm
I'm a big believer in dialogue. If you apologize and she yells, at worst you're in for another unpleasant moment. If you don't apologize, you'll always wish you had. That being said, try to approach her in public, just in case.

Just say - I apologize, I thought there was sufficient room for a car to pass, and I was driving my elderly mother to her Dr appt and didn't want her to be late. I'm sorry if you were startled - I never meant to make you feel unsafe.
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Ashrei




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2016, 6:50 pm
I think I have to admit that Debsey is right, even though I probably would not have. I have had too many experiences of trying to be good and do good, but having it spit back at me, that I just avoid everyone. (Although those experiences are really mostly from frum people... so maybe...)
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2016, 7:37 pm
I always apologize to the crazies even when I am right. Who cares?
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 11 2016, 1:08 pm
if you don't communicate - she'll never know you didn't mean to be rude

however, your mother or anyone else that is causing you to be irritable is not an excuse for untoward behavior
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