Wwyd- 3 yo came home with face covered in scratches

amother

White

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 1:25 pm

My very gentle 3 year old son got his face scratched up badly in about 20-30 spots on his face. Some were open, some superficial all of them were not serious cuts.
His teacher called me to tell me but said his classmate was playful and overexcited but she overheard my son asking him to stop its hurting.
When my son came home he told me the boy was fighting for a toy my son had brought to school and my son was trying to hold on to it.

I don't know what to do. I'm used to MO schools where this kind of thing hasn't happened. This is a more yeshivish school. There were no repercussions for the other child and I'm sure his parents were not told. They are a well to do family and we are just average.
What can I do?

debbie321

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 2:07 pm

Tell the morah u want a reacher to be more on top of these kids,even if it means morah has to sit in middle of all these kids! I would be very upset if my son came home looking like that! And if c"v my son was the one doing the scratching and hurting,id want a morah to be there watching him,stopping him, and teaching him on the spot right and wrong(I.e thinking chair type) tell morah you are not happu and hope parent is talking to their kid
I have a preschooler under 3 and I talk to him all the time and show him
Makes a difference
U can also talk to ur kid that the next time something happens to start screaming for morah,and to tell the other kid to stop. A lot of kids dont know to do this

amother

Seafoam

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 2:56 pm

amother wrote:

Seriously, I should just get used to it?

Yes.

I guess be happy that the teacher called you before he came home.
I know a case where a boy got knocked down by a bus in the school parking lot, badly enough for him to black out for a few moments and not remember the incident, and the parents weren't informed until the child came home and said something happened to him and he wasn't sure what.

ohmygosh

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 2:58 pm

No, this is not ok. You need to let the teacher know that she must be more on top of the kids and this cannot occur. If it happens again, you need to have a sit down with the teacher and principal and involve the other childs parents.

naturalmom5

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 3:00 pm

ohmygosh wrote:

Good luck with that

amother

White

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 3:00 pm

I don't blame her for not being on top of the kids. These things happen.
But to brush it off as a boy who is over excited and playful is the part that is sitting very poorly with me.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 3:01 pm

Some schools take a very dismissive attitude about kid on kid violence.

When DD was in first grade, there was a boy who was kicking her shins black and blue on a daily basis. I confronted the principle, the teacher, everyone, but nobody did anything. I don't even know if the parents were notified.

The boy's grandfather was the head of the Va'ad at the time, so that might have had something to do with it. We switched schools as fast as we could.

amother

Pumpkin

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 3:49 pm

A few scratches I can understand but 30? And all over his face. What was the morah doing? It takes more then a few seconds to cause 30 plus scratches.

I would take pix of his face and keep them in case there is another incident. I know we are talking about 3 year olds, and some scratching/hitting is excpected, but this seems a bit much.

rachel6543

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 9:42 pm

That is beyond ridiculous. You need to have a serious talk with the teacher and director of the preschool (or principle of the school). That is not okay and the response from the teacher seems like baloney to me. My son also got scratched/injured (and I think bitten once too) in preschool - these things happened, even with the best teachers. But my son's teachers took responsibility for what happened, explained throughly what happened and were always diligent to make sure it did not happen again.

If some thing like that happens again or you do not an appropriate response back from the school, I would seriously look into changing preschools for the safety of your child.

amother

White

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 9:52 pm

I'm going to speak with the teacher tomorrow.
I rreally like her and think she is great but want to be clear that the situation is not okay and needs to be addressed.

greenfire

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 10:08 pm

find out what kid it is & speak to the parents

& NO this is not something you should get used to [even though many schools are lackadaisical and tend to say "boys will be boys"

what also upsets me is that even though the teacher called you ... her story & your son's don't match up - playful & overexcited is quite different from fighting for a toy & hurting your son

tigerwife

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 10:12 pm

amother wrote:

I'm going to speak with the teacher tomorrow.
I rreally like her and think she is great but want to be clear that the situation is not okay and needs to be addressed.

Good for you. It wasn't ok and should be addressed. I can see one or two scratches happening when the teacher's back is turned, but a face-full?

Moonlight

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 10:29 pm

Totally not ok. Would never pass at my yeshivish schools. That's terrible! I'd go straight to the principal

amother

White

Mon, Mar 14 2016, 9:17 pm

Thanks to all for the encouragement.
I spoke to the teacher this morning after a restless night of worrying. She explained that she had assumed it was over excitement and didn't realize about the aggression. Regardless, the child was supposedly sent home early on Friday and parents were informed.
So relieved that there was recourse. Wish I had been fully informed though!